Is it wrong to flirt online (while married to someone else) with someone even if

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  1. SimeyC profile image88
    SimeyCposted 14 years ago

    Is it wrong to flirt online (while married to someone else) with someone even if you have no intenti

    A lot of men go online to chat and flirt with women while their wife is in bed - most don't have any intention of meeting or going further. Is this wrong?

  2. stricktlydating profile image84
    stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

    It's wrong if they have a profile on a 'singles' website.  And especially in cases where they have any kind of online profile which does not indicate he is married. 

    Many an affair has started out this way and the woman really has no idea he's married, when the man might start off with good intentions but get a little carried away. 

    On the other hand, if it's a Social Networking site, where the other women know that he's married, and they're chatting harmlessly about things, then he's not really causing any problems.

    1. Alathka profile image53
      Alathkaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think this is the best answer. The first part is good, but the second is incomplete. Chatting may be harmless, but where is the line between chatting harmlessly and crossing into more than what your significant other is trusting of you?

  3. tmom profile image60
    tmomposted 14 years ago

    I would say yes.  Simply because that is time that they are spending with other women, eventhough it may only be casual conversation online.  I would feel terrible, almost betrayed, if I were to find that my husband stayed up late at night chatting with other women.

  4. profile image0
    blatvaposted 14 years ago

    Honestly?  Yes, It is wrong. Not only is it in bad taste, But you would probably be deceiving two different women. Your wife, and the woman online. I don't care what anyone says about "If it's online, its not real."  I had a long distance relationship for over a year, and that was real. And this would be too

  5. pisco profile image60
    piscoposted 14 years ago

    There is really no way around it, if you flirt while married, something is wrong, this is valid online or offline.

    From my personnal experiencie social networks are nice and fun if you are single/non-commited, but when you step up with someone, just let it go, you will avoid all sorts of troubles down the road, trust me, been there, done that, and i am still suffering from it.

    1. Alathka profile image53
      Alathkaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      This was a better answer. Sorry about your experience, but hopefully, your advice might help someone see before it's too late.
      if one carries on, back and forth, then they're on a path of destruction for their relationship or marriage. It hurts.

  6. profile image51
    fashionloveposted 14 years ago

    I think if you have to ask if it's wrong then you KNOW it is.  The main point is flirting ... not whether it's online of offline. 

    Question why someone would want to do that if they are in a happy loving relationship.

    I wouldn't accept it in my relationship.

    The intention to go further may not be there initially but the more you do it the more you could develop the urge to go further than flirting.

  7. glorina profile image60
    glorinaposted 14 years ago

    Yes it is. Think about it, In God's presence you made a vow. So you already committed a sin in your marrige. You cheated her and she can feel it despite of her incapability.

  8. profile image0
    samwnrposted 14 years ago

    To be frank it is cheating sometime one get carried away as that point is come in everybody's life but at that time one shld think clearly and don't come in pressure of that you have done something wrong as long as you don't get physical with another person than it depends on your partner whether he/she will  forgive you as once you come under pressure that you have used some other person feeling or the person came to know that there is a gap between you and your partner and he start pushing you and on the other side if you have some kind of gap between you and your partner and start hold the feeling for both to the partner and the third person they both are correct in their place and you are true as well but you will be in a big mess and if this gone too far than you will be a loser in either way because at one point you will lose you wonderful family and on the other hand a wonderful friend so before getting in all this mess think twice and if that person is taking too long to meet ( as i am taking abt internet relations ) you than quickly end it coz after it stretch it too long you will have that feeling why i am doing this for what as it is too long now coz you can't be selfish as so many life are attached to you

  9. oneputt profile image59
    oneputtposted 14 years ago

    It seems I read somewhere that the road to destruction is paved with  intentions.

  10. RNMSN profile image60
    RNMSNposted 14 years ago

    the thought is as bad as the deed

    worse...3 persons deceived and all 3 losing soul value, and thats the bottom line

    whatever we give out into the universe
    comes back to us
    times three

    my karma is bad enough without having to add that to it....
    and I am just like anyone else/human/an egg;slightly cracked  smile

    put it will be so glad you did

  11. SimeyC profile image88
    SimeyCposted 14 years ago

    There are a lot of varied an interesting answers here and to be honest there's probably not a right answer! There are a couple of factors:

    Trust - relationships are based on trust - this includes honesty - so if you flirt without your spouse knowing then you are breaking the trust - this is probably the most important thing for me - if I ever considered flirting I'd be upfront and honest about it - if my wife didn't like the idea then I simply wouldn't do it - it would also then bring up a discussion about why I was even tempted to and perhaps save problems down the road.

    Men v Women: this is perhaps the hardest thing to think about - men are different than women - it's probably easier for a woman to flirt and think nothing of it, but it does seem that often a man will think there is more to a relationship when someone flirts with them. Again though it does go back to trust - it's the fact that you are doing something behind someone's back that makes it wrong - I'd guess that men are more likely to flirt without permission.

    Hurt - even harmless flirting can lead to pain - not only for your spouse but also for the other person involved. If they don't know about your spouse then they'll be hurt when they 'expect' more - either by entering a relationship without a future, or being let down when the spouse enters the equation.

    Final comment - if you are in a relationship then you really need to think why you would consider flirting, and how you would feel if your spouse did the same thing. Perhaps talking to your spouse about your feelings and temptations is the best course of action!

  12. profile image50
    WutsdatMovyposted 14 years ago

    It is wrong. Its cheating. Specificly, its emotional cheating. There are many studies, articles, and discussions on it, but the concesus is that it is cheating and it is wrong. Both men and women do it.

  13. terced ojos profile image60
    terced ojosposted 14 years ago

    The fact is a lot of men do end up doing more than flirting and women as well.  It's wrong because it could lead to other things.  It is a form of cheating.

  14. mynameisnotpaul profile image60
    mynameisnotpaulposted 14 years ago

    I don't think it's okay. There would obviously be some sort of motive behind it.

  15. Gigi2 profile image61
    Gigi2posted 14 years ago

    YES, YES, YES. Of course. You shouldn't be married. It goes against everything that constitutes marriage. Love, trust, honesty, faith, loyalty.
    I promise to forsake all're not exactly doing that if you're being a creepy flirt while your wife is asleep. Poor wife.

  16. profile image0
    loriamooreposted 14 years ago

    Yes, it's wrong.  If you're married, you're committed.  Why would you even want to flirt with someone else? Sometimes starting out without intent ends up with intent. 

    In a happy, healthy relationship, neither party would feel the need to flirt with others, whether with or without intent.

  17. profile image0
    CloieElizabethposted 14 years ago

    Even if they have no intentions with this other person; It is still wrong.
    How do you think you would feel if you found out your wife was flirting with other men whilst you're alseep at night? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't approve.
    Even though it's only a bit of harmless flirting, it can still 'cause your partner not to trust you if they found at. As simple things as Internet flirting can lead onto much bigger things, such as meeting them etc, and then cheating.

    There can be lot's of different sides to this.
    But in my honest opinion, I don't think it's right, and I wouldn't intend on doing that to my partner, whether there were intentions there or not.

  18. lifeinprime profile image65
    lifeinprimeposted 14 years ago

    Yes, it can be harmful to the man's spouse, the woman on the other end of the conversation, and even the perpetrator himself. 

    First, the woman will feel betrayed by her husband's so-called harmless flirtation. She'll learn to trust him less in the future, and it could have dramatic effects on the marriage.  Even if she doesn't find out about the flirtation, the spouse will notice possible behavioral changes in her partner. 

    Second, the other woman may actually develop feelings for the flirt.  She may develop fantasies about the perpetrator which, sadly, can be harmful to all parties in many ways.  Possible dangers may include psychological  (including suicidal tendencies, stalking, anger, etc.) and physical issues (lack of sleep, elevated blood pressure, etc.).

    Also, the perpetrator may face a variety of issues--including dangerous relationships, bodily harm, and depression.  Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?

  19. Faceless39 profile image91
    Faceless39posted 14 years ago

    Flirting behind your wife's back (or husband's back) breaks the bond of marriage:  Namely trust, faith, love, and devotion, etc.  I know this is rife, especially with social networking sites popping up everywhere, but that doesn't make it right; it just makes it easier.  Cheating can be either in thought or in action.  Either way, it's cheating.  If someone's unhappy in marriage, they should confront the issues and/or get divorced!

  20. profile image51
    SignOtheTwinposted 13 years ago

    Plain and simply put, YES, it IS WRONG...even if you're not married. First of all, depending on one's spiritual and/or religious beliefs, it is a sin to lust after another man/woman while married. If one has no intention of meeting or going further...they wouldn't be flirting in the first place. Especially as a married man, your actions directly affect the emotions, health, and well-being over your partner...let's not forget the trickle-down effect when children are involved.

    I am not nor have I ever been married, but I do have children and was involved with their father for 16 years. He too thought it was harmless at first. It did not take long before he DID begin to cross the line. As a result of his actions with women online, both me and my children have been hurt very deeply by him and these strangers he allowed in his life...for nothing more than fun as he so simply put it. However, this so-called flirting did lead to other things happening. Myself and my children have also paid the consequences of their actions and that is NOT FAIR. I have seen nude photos of him, photos of his genitals that were sent to other women...worst, I saw a video of him having sex in  a motel...that he recorded with his cell and saved to a storage card. (This is no fictitious story...honest to God truth.)

    As I always say, you are an adult with free will to do as you please. If you want the freedom to flirt with no regard to what may guilt, then be a man and leave your marriage because finding out what you're doing online will be more detrimental than taking a sabbatical in search of why you are participating in this behavior.  Instead, you attempt to seek justification by anonymously asking for approval from nameless faceless people.

    Regardless of when your wife finds out, you will feel like a fool to find out that we told you so. It will also be very difficult to watch what it does to her...unless you are as heartless as the question that is posted here. You shouldn't be should be searching your soul because something deeper is going on than just wanting to have "innocent" fun.

    I am a very a die-hard romantic and a very loving and generous person. Love is beautiful and between a man and woman it is sacred. You should NEVER allow yourself to treat another woman the way your wife/girlfriend should be treated by you. My heart hurts and I cry everyday because of what he did to our family...there's no turning back either.

    Just remember, it is true that what's done in the dark WILL come to light...

    1. C.V.Rajan profile image60
      C.V.Rajanposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting story. But one thing makes me wonder. Why you didn't get married? Either you, or he, or both perhaps wanted to have an escape route from the commitment of marriage!  And he utilized that route for his selfish sake, perhaps.

  21. Patty Inglish, MS profile image86
    Patty Inglish, MSposted 13 years ago

    I believe it is wrong for anyone in marriage, because it is fraud, it is immature, and it is shallow behavior.

  22. Rob Hanlon profile image61
    Rob Hanlonposted 13 years ago

    I think if a married man goes online to flirt with women whilst his Wife is in bed best ask his Wife whether she thinks it is 'wrong' or not.

  23. Sarah Masson profile image61
    Sarah Massonposted 13 years ago

    Yes it's definitely wrong. A married man shouldn't be sneaking around online flirting with other women. I'm pretty sure the majority of men don't say to their wives: Well yes honey I am flirting online with other women!! So the fact that it's a secret is a huge indicator that it's a big problem

  24. MobyWho profile image60
    MobyWhoposted 13 years ago

    put an 'L' after the S in your name and you'd get my reaction.

  25. LyndaD profile image60
    LyndaDposted 13 years ago

    I think flirting isn't cheating and that we all flirt at one point. I don't think it's wrong if your significant other knows about it, but if you're intentionally waiting until they go to bed so they won't find out and then seeking out someone to flirt with, I would for question it. There may be something lacking in the relationship.

  26. JayDee Sterling profile image61
    JayDee Sterlingposted 13 years ago

    Yes it is completely wrong.  If it is so easy for men to flirt online with total strangers, then it should be extremely easy for those same men to flirt with their wives, someone they do know.

    Online typically is the beginning of something anonymous that can become something very real.

    What the men need to think about is how would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot and the wife was chatting things up with a man online.

  27. profile image54
    moongirl52posted 13 years ago

    I am so happy to read that most people feel that it is wrong.
    Of course it is wrong....imagine the hurt you would cause your wife? No one wants their spouse or significant other to flirt with anyone else-online or otherwise.

  28. lilibees profile image61
    lilibeesposted 13 years ago

    I believe and feel that it is absolutly wrong and emtionaly I feel it is even more hurtful than the sexual act of cheating itself.

  29. windresistant profile image61
    windresistantposted 13 years ago

    No, it isn't wrong if your wife and the other person approve and understand completely. Considering this is rare, however, probably, yes.

    If you feel you are doing something you can't tell your wife about, you have probably crossed her line.

  30. ggenda profile image61
    ggendaposted 13 years ago

    Yes, it is wrong. It may not constitute cheating, but it is walking down a dangerous road. No good can possibly come of it, and marriage is something to be valued and protected. Don't play with fire - walk away and don't look back!

  31. Mindtrapz profile image61
    Mindtrapzposted 13 years ago

    any woman will tell you that that is called "emotional cheating" which in most forms is worse than phyiscally cheating on her. even if you dont have any physical plans on contacting her the emotional effort that you put into it is just the same as if you actaully met the person.

  32. vagary profile image57
    vagaryposted 13 years ago

    If you can flirt with someone else on line while your spouse is in the room and reading over your shoulder, and they are OK with that, then it would be acceptable.  If you are doing something, anything, that you would not want your spouse to know about, then you should stop doing it or talk it over with your spouse before continuing.

  33. AnnaCia profile image78
    AnnaCiaposted 12 years ago

    It is simply wrong.  That is playing with fire.

  34. sunnycerise profile image60
    sunnyceriseposted 11 years ago

    Few years ago, I used to filrter online, while I'm married, it was just a game,

    This week I found some flirt messages on my man's phone, now I can say that kind of games can hurt, realy hurt more then I could imagine,

    I paid for that game I played, so I do not know if that's good or bad , but yes, when it's discoverd it really hurts

    be careful

  35. padmendra profile image48
    padmendraposted 10 years ago

    It is always wrong to play on line to chat just for fun. People who are married if doing such kind of awkward thing  can  have to pay a heavy price as doing this thing even just for fun  can  take your marriage to a broken state.   Doing this  kind  of  thing is also  not fair,  as one or the other  day your spouse  may  come to know about  this  habit  and that may  be the end of your relationship. Who knows the person on the other  side may have a motive of damaging your life or money which is very  usual  in these days.

  36. C.V.Rajan profile image60
    C.V.Rajanposted 10 years ago

    Right or wrong apart, I just wanted to share the brief of a  story that I read somewhere. A man, not having a cordial relationship with his wife,  engages in on-line flirting with a woman and in all aspects she looked to be the best match for him. Same thing with the woman too. Both didn't reveal their true identity. One day they decided to meet face to face in a restaurant. The man goes 10 minutes in advance to make sure that he could watch the woman from a distance at the reserved seat in the restaurant and if she looks good, he can go and meet her; else he can slip away!

    Guess who came to the restaurant to meet him? His wife!


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