If someone argues with you, but apologises the next day, should you forgive them

Jump to Last Post 1-9 of 9 discussions (19 posts)
  1. sangre profile image96
    sangreposted 4 years ago

    If someone argues with you, but apologises the next day, should you forgive them?

    Something was misunderstood & this caused irritation, which then led to argument.

  2. CraftytotheCore profile image80
    CraftytotheCoreposted 4 years ago

    I always try to give a person the benefit of a doubt.

    When someone is sincere and apologizes for a misunderstanding, I believe it's good to keep communication open with that person.

    It's when a person uses manipulation repeatedly and dishes out false apologies with no sincerity that it's time to cut ties with that person.

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks CraftytotheCore. That's good advice, I try not to stay mad for very long as it's a useless endeavour.  But sometimes it takes time to move on from it.

  3. tsmog profile image81
    tsmogposted 4 years ago

    I think apologies are an oddity many times. There is a lot of etiquette regarding apologies. Experience teaches many times apologies are more centered on the emotions of the arguing and not the argument. That for me of the least is more forgivable, although fair warning of not condoning such behavior may be offered. I feel those are separate issues.

    Emotions sometimes are the affect of many other contributing feelings having  nothing to do with argument. Like only minutes ago learning some bad news and that is fueling emotions at the time of the argument. The outside energy is affecting the emotions reflected during the argument. They are not related.

    Forgiving the argument itself is something entirely different. I can forgive someone for being wrong or myself being in the wrong and taking a stand. I respect that. Their is  nothing wrong with a good argumentative discussion. That is how progress occurs. Arguing a point of view.

    That is an essay type taught from high school through universities - an argument essay. When real life encounters face to face becomes personal attacks not based on the original argument it gets nasty at times. That is not an argument in my mind that is a fight with words. And, they hurt.

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      hi tsmog, thanks for your very insightful answer. You really put me thinking about it from another perspective. Hopefully we can move on from this and try to work true it. Arguing does help to clear the air. :-)

  4. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    I don't see why not. It just means after they had (some time to think about it) they realized they were either wrong or they went about it the wrong way when they were trying to make their point. No one is perfect.
    Unless it was some "deal breaker" offence involving physical abuse or personal attacks it's not a big deal. Folks disagree all the time and very few are big enough to apologize so soon afterwards.

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      hi dashingscorpio, that's true. Since the situation wasn't as serious as the ones you mentioned, I think what you say about forgiving is right .

  5. profile image0
    Dave36posted 4 years ago

    Well in my honest opinion not only you should except their apology, but inside you should thank them for the practice..This will sound mad but here me out, & let me know what you think..If she was arguing with you, then you must have been arguing with her..It doesn't matter who was right or wrong, but my point is that you both "lost it" at the time..One of the biggest things i learn't in life was that my feelings of irritation/anger etc, we're are manifested by me inside me, & the other person was not causing these feelings leading to arguments etc..If you wanted to practice emotions/feelings control you need people to want to argue with you, so that's why i say you should secretly thank people for arguing with you..So see the next person who wants to argue with you as practice for that, & see if you can control your feelings a bit better each time..Anyone who argues with you or irritates you or even hurts you etc doesn't actually want/mean to do it, it's only because they themselves have been over come by their own mind/feelings & emotions at the time..So forgive her because she might just mean it, & it's free..It is true that only fools argue, & you can't argue with a fool.

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Dave36, I'll never look at an argument the same way again. I get what your saying and it makes me look at what happened in a new light.

    2. profile image0
      Dave36posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Utube Eckhart Tolle emotions/feelings control, it's fantastic advice which i only learned in the last year.It's hard to grasp unless you do the practice, but once you see it yourself your'l be hooked.No more unwanted thoughts/feelings or emotions.

  6. ChitrangadaSharan profile image64
    ChitrangadaSharanposted 4 years ago

    Yes, of course!
    It needs a large heart and courage to admit mistakes and ask for apology. So the right gesture is to forgive the person with an open mind and large heart.

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Chitrangada Sharon, that true. I think your point makes a lot of sense.

  7. grand old lady profile image86
    grand old ladyposted 4 years ago

    For your own peace of mind, it's always better to forgive. However, forgiveness doesn't always mean a return to status quo. If the apology is part of a pattern, for example an abusive relationship, then you have to establish boundaries. You can forgive, but you don't have to be a victim again.

    Forgiveness implies that you won't seek revenge. That's why forgiveness is so important for your own personal health, because if your anger festers you may end up getting so mad you wanna get even. On the other hand, you can forgive but set a boundary. This is because forgiveness doesn't mean you will let yourself be used or abused all over again. The martyr syndrome isn't really forgiveness, it's actually weakness.

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      HI grand old lady, I do agree with what you say about forgiving been better for you health and about setting boundaries.  Not being taken advantage is vitally important, plus having them allows some rules to be established.

  8. RTalloni profile image90
    RTalloniposted 4 years ago

    Unpacking Forgiveness by C. Brauns is a very useful book on this topic. Don't miss the appendix info.
    This topic can be quite complex, particularly in certain cases. http://www.chrisbrauns.com/unpackingforgiveness/
    http://www.amazon.com/Unpacking-Forgive … 1581349807

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      HI RTalloni, thanks for sharing that book. The reviews are fantastic.

  9. mathira profile image82
    mathiraposted 4 years ago

    When someone argues with me in momentary anger, I easily forgive as I know it was not intentional. But when someone argues with me with an intention of hurting my feelings, it takes days before  I am normal with them. So you should see whether the person is really apologetic and if he is, you can forgive and show that you are the better of the two.

    1. sangre profile image96
      sangreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      hi mathira, very interesting point and also very true.  Sometimes I think some people just love to cause hurt and upset.

    2. profile image0
      Dave36posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hey mathira do you think it's possible that whether or not a person (in your opinion) tries to hurt you intentionally or in momentary anger, in both cases they don't know their doing it as in both cases it's their mind speaking for them.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)