Emotionally unavailable men: Is it really a case of (timing) and them having not met “the one”?
George Clooney was known for stating he would never remarry. Apparently he has changed his mind. He was considered the king of “serial monogamy” dating one woman at a time for periods of two years or longer. At age 52 George has recently become engaged to 36 year old British attorney Amal Alamuddin after (less than six months) of dating. Is the label “emotionally unavailable” a (sour grapes) term hurled by those who simply did not make the grade?
Clearly there is a difference between a man being unavailable to most women versus all women. Is it possible these men simply chose not to settle?
I think Clooney was emotionally unavailable until now, which is why he dated actresses who were more fluff than stuff. (Sorry, ladies) However, he isn't getting any younger and I feel that this woman speaks to him in a way the others could not even begin to... Amal is a highly intelligent woman who is all about "social justice." Sort of like Clooney. She strikes me as being rather eclectic and independent. My guess is that she is an extension of how Clooney views his world. Perhaps she "completes" him. (Lol) My guess is that she knocked his socks off without even trying.
At any rate, I am glad for them. May they be happily married for the long haul.
I can actually relate to George because I too swore I'd never remarry again. However I don't believe I dated fluff women or avoided compatible women. I had a 5 and 7 year relationship. However when you meet "the one" you break your own rules! LOL!
Excellent question that I deal with in my online practice (Liveperson) every day. I take exception to many of my colleagues who love psychobabble and "diagnosing" certain life choices as a "problem." The late legendary actress Katherine Hepburn once said she wouldn't marry (again) because she didn't want to have to make the choice between going on stage and staying home with a sick child. She didn't think it was fair.
I have found basically two kinds of men and women who fall adapt the single life: The first have issues. I refer to them in my columns as "Mystery Guests." They "drop in" to your life, are generally highly attentive; then once things get a little serious, they roar off.
But another wonderful group are those who are simply wise. It's a wise person who knows what he or she may not do well. Marriage is one of those things. Many are in passion with their work and know they can't offer the 100 percent we think of as marriage. Others realize that temperamentally they're not suited to permanent coupling.
Not everyone is destined to take this journey two by two.
So, I'd say, look at the behavior, present and past. Also, believe a man when he tells you he's not into marriage. Men may not always know what they want, but they usually know what they don't.
Warmly, Marnie Macauley MS. You can reach me on Liveperson.
"Not everyone is destined to take this journey two by two." Your statement is both profound and true! Life is personal journey and not a "one size fits all" experience. No one should feel obligated to get married. Know what makes (you) happy.
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