Does a Christian woman have a biblical right to divorce her emotionally abusive

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  1. calico Stark profile image60
    calico Starkposted 11 years ago

    Does a Christian woman have a biblical right to divorce her emotionally abusive husband?

    Is emotional abuse a valid reason for a person to get a divorce? Or should the spouse believe for a supernatural transformation?

  2. ronhi profile image67
    ronhiposted 11 years ago

    I can recall only two instances where divorce is Biblically permitted:-

    Matthew 5:31-32 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”


    1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

    1. celafoe profile image56
      celafoeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      your first answer does not apply to Christianity, it was for th jews only as it was under the old testament.
      the one you are missing id for adultery

    2. Lisa Marie HSR profile image59
      Lisa Marie HSRposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      And then that was added by the Sanhedrin...not God. God hates divorce.

  3. Dian'swords4u profile image60
    Dian'swords4uposted 11 years ago

    According to the Bible the only reason you can divorce is if the spouse has been unfaithful by committing adultry.  There is no gender separation in this.  The Bible is written for all with no separation of gender.  It could be an abusive wife instead of husband.

    1. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This is true in every Bible translation I have read, but I still can't believe God wants us to suffer & die as many do in abuse -- I suppose the abused are to change abusers with a kind example, but , God forgive me, I'd leave.

    2. Kathleen Cochran profile image77
      Kathleen Cochranposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Abuse is infidelity - just harder to prove to others.  It is being unfaithful to the promise you made in marriage to love your wife as you love yourself.  God referred to unfaithfulness as adultery throughout the Bible.

    3. Foodeee profile image61
      Foodeeeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      @Kathleen Your point makes me rethink what I thought was true. However, God sees the remarriage as a sin not the divorce itself. That's what I was thinking. You?

  4. Dave Mathews profile image59
    Dave Mathewsposted 11 years ago

    Almighty God has given adultery as the only lawful reason for divorce, and adultery is pretty straightforward.

    1. celafoe profile image56
      celafoeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      but only if you are unable to forgive because of your hard heart, which is the better way

  5. Rev. Akins profile image73
    Rev. Akinsposted 11 years ago

    I found several passages that talk about divorce in the Bible, and every one of them speaks about infidelity being the only reason to leave a marriage. (Deuteronomy, Matthew, 1 Corinthians, even a couple in Malachi and Luke)You can hope and pray for a supernatural transformation, God can do amazing and wonderful things. I lean towards the fact that the man should treat the woman as he treats himself (the two shall become one). Marriage is about mutuality, fidelity and support, and that is not happening here.
    Emotional abuse is powerful and painful, the Bible gives one answer, but pray and see if God gives you an understanding of how to interpret this information to help you. Another thought- the biblical woman was just above property, not a relationship many women today would put up with.

    1. Lisa Marie HSR profile image59
      Lisa Marie HSRposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      ***** FAITH IN GOD  *****
      Malachi 2:16
      "I hate divorce," sas the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

  6. lburmaster profile image75
    lburmasterposted 11 years ago

    Do not ask the morman's in Florida. They will say you have to protect your husband even if he is physically abusing you.
    With the court systems these days, you can file for a divorce with that as the reason. I do not believe the Old Testament says anything positive about this subject. Try the New Testament. They tend to be more welcoming to situations.

    1. celafoe profile image56
      celafoeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      the question was about a Christian woman, so the mormon cult is not applicable
      She can separate but not divorce for this reason in new testament

    2. Lea Child profile image61
      Lea Childposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      A Mormon prophet once said: “The abuse of one’s spouse and children is a most serious offense before God, and any who indulge in it may expect to be disciplined by the Church.” You have incorrect information. And we are Christians.

  7. Taioe profile image40
    Taioeposted 11 years ago

    Biblical rights are only when unfaithful practise has occured, not in any other situation. If He has committed an adultrey with another woman or man you have the rights to divorce him/her. Just TRUST GOD, you should present your case to HIM as HE IS THE ONE who created this Institution of marriage not man. try to find the church with Fire of God to fight the spirit that makes husband to be abusive, thats not him who does that that dark evil force in him is abusive to a wife using the body of a husband , she must love her husband and resist that spirit. she should start practising her faith and it will work for her. crying wont help but standing up and face Goliath , see who shall win

    1. Lindsey Nobles profile image60
      Lindsey Noblesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The bible also says homosexuals should be put to death and then in another verse they should be outcasted. God himself doesn't know what he wants if you really pay attention to what you are reading.

    2. profile image0
      Pastor Wolfeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The Bible is not a living breathing being, why let it control your lives? Be free and live without male control, be Superior Ladies, step up and take charge in your lives do what is right for you, screw what others may say or think!

    3. profile image0
      jonnycomelatelyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The "institution of marriage" is a secular,  legal contract, not church or god-based. If you wish to enter into a promise in the context of your church or god, that is a different matter.

  8. Jynzly profile image59
    Jynzlyposted 11 years ago

    The Bible advices wives to be submissive to their husbands "in the Lord".  Likewise, the Bible advices the husbands to love their wives; If the husband is helplessly abusive to his wife then, the Bible says that we have to take care of ourselves because we are God's temple. It is the wife's duty to take care of herself and if the husband constantly abuses her then it is just like the she is allowing her husband to dishonour God's temple. It is not categorically stated but we are given the choice.

    1. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I believe that as well.

    2. wmhoward4 profile image66
      wmhoward4posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Your logic is sound. Loving God by doing HIS will is essential. The 2nd half of the Great Commandment is to love one another. They tie right into what you have said above. AND it is wrong to leave a good spouse due to lack of interest too.

  9. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 11 years ago

    In the Old Testament God says he hates divorce.

    When two people marry they become one flesh and can not be separated except by fornication (having sex with someone else outside of marriage)

    It is not based on committing Adultery, because adultery can be lust in the heart. It has to be the physical act.

    Even though fornication is a good reason for divorce, it does not give a person the right to remarry.

    Paul taught differently from Yahshua and if you can find anywhere the scriptures give the right to divorce and remarry, besides Paul's teachings, please post it.

        Matthew 5:28
    But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

    1. profile image0
      Pastor Wolfeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Everyone relies on this damn book like it's some kind of miracle but I say unto you all, through all my research and hard dedicated work, I worked hard to shed some light and bring honor back to the female population, who's lives were destroyed by it

  10. calico Stark profile image60
    calico Starkposted 11 years ago

    There is a great link with a new perspective that may "tweek" some of our theologies regarding this subject. But very interesting! Here is the site

  11. Obelia profile image59
    Obeliaposted 11 years ago

    According to Scripture, there is no reason for any Christian to divorce (that includes the three "A's" - abuse, adultery & abandonment).  Jesus stated that the only reason divorce after marriage ever came into play was due to hard hearts (or unforgiveness).  The divorce Jesus permitted was during the betrothal period (our dating/engagement) during which, if fornication was discovered (sexually unfaithful before marriage or too closely related & breaking the Levitical laws), then a divorce would be necessary because Jewish betrothal was a binding contractual agreement seen like marriage but not consummated.  Married people can't commit fornication (Matt 19:9); they commit adultery.  We are also not to take our matters before a secular court.  However, if a person chooses to divorce for reasons of safety or whatever, they are to remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse. (1 Cor 7:10-11).  Those are the only two options for a divorced person. 

    Our marriages are to reflect the relationship of Christ and His bride.  He forgives us when we've sinned and repented and takes us back as if if never happened.  Peter asked how many times he should forgive his brother.  Jesus said until seventy times seven meaning there is no limit.  If our spouse is repentant, we should be ready to forgive, especially since we vowed our lives to the person we chose.  If we're truly honest, we've hurt our spouses in varying degrees with words, actions, silence, withdrawing affection, etc.  There is no completely innocent side.  We should pray for the spouse as well as ourselves.  A wife's prayers and conduct will have a stronger effect than her preaching at him or trying to act from her emotions.

    Biblically, no, she's not supposed to divorce him.  If she chooses to leave or divorce, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to him.  There is no permission given to marry anyone else while that spouse is alive regardless of what the law of the land says.  (John the Baptist was killed for preaching against a remarriage - that of Heriodias and Herod.)  God supernaturally makes them one flesh, so a legal divorce doesn't "unjoin" them - especially since a stroke of the pen, overturned case or lost file makes them "married again" legally.  If you want an expansion & resource links for divorce & remarriage, I have a hub here. … Remarriage

    1. profile image58
      chevyssbowtieposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I got here late but this is the true and Biblical answer here. Also one over looked part is the vow, people make a vow individually to God to remain married to their spouse until death do you part. And God takes vows Very seriously.

    2. stuff4kids profile image61
      stuff4kidsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The teaching in your Bible, if this is it, is psychologically and emotionally sick. I'm only glad that, according to our constitution at least, we live in a secular country wherein you are free to tout this stuff but it is not enshrined in law.

    3. nrsparks130 profile image61
      nrsparks130posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I can assure you those above fail to account for room for nuance in the text.  Despite their insistance on biblical "rules", I imagine they would balk at Jesus commandments to lend to enemies without repayment or not punish theft (Luke 6:27-36).

    4. profile image58
      chevyssbowtieposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Actually whether or not you like it or believe it, it is forever settled in Heaven. It is the Word of God. Its in there if youll read it.
      As for lending to so called enemies, i have, but what does that have to do with this subject?

    5. nrsparks130 profile image61
      nrsparks130posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      My point is 2 fold.  1. You insist on a shallow reading of Scripture.  Christ allows for divorce when a partner has been disloyal to the marriage covenant, abuse fits.  2. I strongly doubt your literal adherance to every biblical command. Why here?

    6. profile image58
      chevyssbowtieposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      So if a person does divorce they are not sinning but they are not permitted to re marry.  They must remain unmarried or be reconciled to Their spouse, no other options.
      Cont below

    7. Oscarlites profile image64
      Oscarlitesposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      obelia, if I agree with you, I also would say that the same thread carries that you are released from staying single if and when the other spouse remarries. you cannot be reconciled to him/ her, and biblically you are free; you were not in the wrong.

  12. hillymillydee profile image60
    hillymillydeeposted 11 years ago

    God hates divorcing and everyone knows that but there are 2 reasons we are allowed to divorce;
    1) adultery
    2) death

    Though the bible is not in favor of divorce it allows separation. At 1Corinthians 7:11 .. it says,  "but if she should actually depart, let her remain unmarried or else make up again with her husband;...."

    In the Bible separation is different from divorce

    There are 3 main reason why the Bible allows separation
    1) Physical abuse
    2) Emotional abuse
    3) Spiritual abuse

    But in these 3 cases you are not allowed to remarry. Just separate or you make it  up again.

    1. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That would be fine with me in a case of abuse.

    2. Lindsey Nobles profile image60
      Lindsey Noblesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The phrase "God Hates" shows that he is not an all loving God. His teachings are arbitrary and contradictory. I don't know why people follow a God that kills and hates.

    3. dashingscorpio profile image84
      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      1 Corinthians 7:39 "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." Women initiate 66% or 2/3rds of divorce filings in the U.S.A. LOL!

    4. profile image0
      Pastor Wolfeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The Evolutionary God says yes all is in control with their lives for they have the power to be and do who and what they want!! Remarry, Divorce, hell if it saves lives I am all for it!! Stop with the control and give women freedom to live their way!!

  13. HOOWANTSTONO profile image60
    HOOWANTSTONOposted 11 years ago

    She has the right because of the abuse. But rather remain unmarried, because God is your husband. God is a forgiving God because he wants you to have peace in him and trust in him. It is not a Law that you have to submit to abuse both ways. I could give all the biblical scriptures to support this. See it as if you were already in heaven, there is no marriage.

    1. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I like that.

  14. Insane Mundane profile image58
    Insane Mundaneposted 11 years ago

    You may not have a Biblical right, but you have a humanitarian right towards your own self, backed by the judicial branch of law, to free yourself from the misery of your current marriage.  That, at least to me, makes more sense than some old senile saps that lived thousands of years ago, telling me who I can and cannot separate from!

    1. cloverleaffarm profile image67
      cloverleaffarmposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thumbs up! You are a wise person.

    2. Robert the Bruce profile image61
      Robert the Bruceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I thought you were a Christian, Mundane?

    3. Insane Mundane profile image58
      Insane Mundaneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      @Robert the Bruce - False assumptions again from you...  Just because I don't fall for the asinine religion of speciation via primordial soup and the long lost theory of evolution or the big bang of baloney, doesn't make me a Christian; duh!

  15. Deborah Brooks profile image60
    Deborah Brooksposted 11 years ago

    yes she does.. she does not have to take ay kind of abuse.. God does not expect you to live in pure hell...

    1. profile image50
      what un4posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Matthew 5:32
      But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

    2. Lisa Marie HSR profile image59
      Lisa Marie HSRposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I can only say: 
      I thank God that Jesus didn't also take this selfish outlook.  Although sweating blood from the thought of what he'd endure, he wanted the Will of the Father.
      Without which we'd all be damned to hell and tormentation...FOR ETERNITY.

  16. lauraward profile image58
    laurawardposted 11 years ago

    Yes, A woman does have a right to divorce because of emotional abuse.
    In Malachi chapter 2 is says:

    13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.

    14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

    15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

    16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

    This is often the scripture used to refer to the "Gos hates divorce" argument. However, read it carefully. To paraphrase it it says "Gods hates divorce, so don't deal treacherously with your wife. It even goes as far as to say that even if the husband comes back to God weeping and sorrowful, God will not hear him. This is the scripture God gave me, which finally gave me the strength to leave my abusive husband.

    1. profile image50
      haustin37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thats good

    2. profile image53
      Mitchell danielposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Laura I am sorry for what you have been through however the verses you are using are taken out of context and are speaking about Jewish men divorcing their wives and marrying a pagan woman.  God will not accept their offering.

  17. profile image51
    WATERSTARposted 10 years ago

    From, WATERSTAR, divorce is never the answer for anyone that called themself a Christian, GOD is against divorce, but for safety reasons their are time when one have to be Seperated for a while until the problem get resolve,Their are many ways to fix the problem ,first find a Godly good paster from a Bible beliving Church and have a good spiritural councel with constant praying, make peayer request from GOD praying people take a Look at yourself first see if you need a little fixing up first before starting to point the blame, in most times Money that is too Ltiile is all that is the problem ,Just be nice to each other as GOD Beutiful People, see if an upgrade to a higher Education at a Colledge for a 6 months or a 12 months period and seek a better paying Job, or work together on a plan to start a small Business on the side fo a Little extra Income,In these hard times that will only get harder every little help you got is a pretty Big help treat your Man with a Little more Loving before bedtime Less complain you Ladies might find in the Morning you wake up to a 12 hour aDay 8 days a Week Hard working Man trying very Hard to Make his Wife and Family very Happy,Take a Look all over the World and be wise, see what Divorce is doing to many Families, it is one of the biggest promoter of making once Married people Become very POOR AND BITTER PEOPLE and a Lot of UNRULY AND LAZY CHILDREN, Married families enjoy less stress,Healthier Lifestyle have More kids Finish High school and More Colledge graduate,Take more Family vacation and the List of Benefit go on and on, Cleaner Lifestyle in a Mess up World Bigger Houses instead of a n apartment, All it Realy Takes Is for Both People In a Marrage To Make a Pack and Sware by it  that THEY WILL LISCEN TO EACH OTHER AND NOT JUST Love TO HEIR THEMSELY YAPPING ALL THE TIME NOBODY WANT TO LISCEN, TRUE LOVE GIVE AND FORGIVE LET LOVE BE YOUR MAIN AFFAIR AT ALL TIMES YOUR trouble will be small and easy to Carry.BY WATERSTAR

    1. Hendrika profile image69
      Hendrikaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This is ridiculous! A husband that is verbally abusing his wife will not give his cooperation on working on the marriage and do all the things you say. Ask me, I know from experience.

    2. Lisa Marie HSR profile image59
      Lisa Marie HSRposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Very well said! I also am a woman who has been in an abusive relationship. God taught me to love the "unloveable". Because of the transformation within ME, God was able to move in my husbands life.  Seek Ye First The Kingdom Of God... Matt 6:33 WWJD!

  18. Surferdaddy profile image55
    Surferdaddyposted 9 years ago

    First, we gotta be really careful how we are defining abuse. I was married for right at 7 years and my wife divorced me citing abuse, and cried out to the world defining abuse as if I had done the very things she had done through the marriage: using sex as a tool for manipulation, blame-shifting, mocking, name-calling, dream-squashing. Test the spirits. Not one of us is perfect. We need to, as Christians, live with each other in grace and mercy. Respect, kindness, patience, love. But telling your wife "no" from time to time is not abuse. Treating her as someone "lesser than" is. Encouraging her dreams is not, at all. When we separated, she FORBADE me from attending the same church I had been involved in for 3 years! She alienated me from my friends in that church and told everyone that would listen that I was abusive. I was simply frustrated and she could not be constructively criticized. She was above accountability. No one counseled her to divorce me. I pleaded for us to work together with a counselor on our relationship. She denied me at all turns. My world is still spinning from it.

    So be careful how you advise people. Define abuse very carefully.

    1. lone77star profile image75
      lone77starposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Abuse is a claim of ego, and ego is the enemy of love.

  19. profile image0
    Thoushallnotkillposted 9 years ago

    I've watched my mother be verbally abused by my father all of my life, I've watched my grandmother be verbally and physically abused  all  of my life.  To claim that this is a good christian thing to do , abuse your mate is again, a twisted context of another bible passage.  If you feel divorce is in some way voiding you of your christian beliefs, move out and move on, just don't seek the divorce.  But, I will bet that once you have moved on, you will want the whole package of separation.  Love does not mean abuse!   Twisted is twisted!  And your children, if you have any, don't need to be brought up in this dysfunctional way of life.

  20. Edward J. Palumbo profile image86
    Edward J. Palumboposted 9 years ago

    I am a Christian but I am not a pastor or a counselor. In issues of emotional abuse, I encourage marriage counseling. If the husband is unwilling to submit to counseling and address the marriage as a priority, I would suggest separation until such time as he's ready to join you and speak with a Christian marriage counselor. If that separation is not sufficient to underscore the gravity of the issue, of the threat to the marriage, I would understand proceeding with divorce. I am a realist, fully aware of the impact of a husband's emotional and physical abuse, having seen that in other couples in the past. In my opinion, no husband who purports to be a Christian should conduct himself that way in violation of the marriage vow. It overlooks, disregards and disobeys what Christ wanted for us in marriage.

  21. profile image79
    wba108@yahoo.composted 9 years ago

    The short answer is yes, although they should seek the Lord about it. I believe a divorce should be an option of last resort but I also don't believe the Lord would require a woman to stay in an abusive situation. This would be out of character for a loving God.

    Many believe that unfaithfulness (adultery) found in Matt 5:32  is the only grounds for a divorce but I've dug into the Greek meaning of this word and it is the word "porneia". The meaning of "porneia" includes breaking covenant through a number of ways according to the context. Breaking covenant includes; adultery, all kinds of wickedness, immorality, abuse, neglect, refusing support, withholding physical intimacy, and abandonment.

    1. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The original languages of the Bible are the best.

    2. profile image50
      what un4posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      …10But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. 1

    3. profile image79
      wba108@yahoo.composted 6 years agoin reply to this

      The context of 1 Corinthians 7 assumes that the marriage covenant has been unbroken, it does not apply when the covenant has been broken according to the original Greek meaning of adultery.

  22. manatita44 profile image74
    manatita44posted 9 years ago


    Good is that which takes us towards the Light, towards Love. Abuse or evil, is that which takes us away from Light. We are walking from a Lesser Light to a Greater Light. We wish to move away from the mind world to the journey of the childlike heart. All that weakens us, should be rejected like poison, and we should imbibe that which makes us wholesome, gives us strength.

    This is the way of All Great Souls.

    1. manatita44 profile image74
      manatita44posted 9 years agoin reply to this


      you will hear the voice of conscience ceaselessly, day n night if you truly listen. Pray for the gift of hearing and act accordingly. Books, no matter how inspirational, are about people's lives. You are a veryspecial book . Love yourself.

  23. feliciaelaine88 profile image61
    feliciaelaine88posted 9 years ago

    I believe once u make that covenant with god by taking those vows you should uphold it unless permitted by scripture your vows say for better or worse pray for him and ask god to give u strength God bless

  24. lone77star profile image75
    lone77starposted 9 years ago

    I used to think so, but not any more. No! Either spouse does not have a right to divorce on grounds of emotional or even physical abuse.

    This is a tough fact to swallow for a lot of people in today's modern, lenient society. I have divorced twice! I have broken all manner of biblical law and deeply regret it. But I was wrong.

    We have to go back to what is important, here. The only really important thing is salvation. Everything else is "window dressing."

    I just finished writing and publishing a book on Noah's Flood ("The Bible's Hidden Wisdom: God's Reason for Noah's Flood"). While writing it, I wrestled with the seeming enormity of God destroying most of humanity, but then I realized that I was looking at it too much from the human perspective.

    God is love. Therefore, Noah's Flood was an act of love. That simplicity came as a shock. But then everything in the Bible fell into place. Everything started to make sense, because of this new distinction.

    Ego is the enemy. Ego pretends to be us. It is the false self which remains separate and selfish. Ego despises love, but hungers after lust.

    Ego loves to be right and to make others wrong. Ego loves to be "first." But remember what Christ said about those who are "first?"

    When you are humble yourself to your abusive spouse, you gain spiritually. You open the door to love and to God. You become more powerful than the pain inflicted upon you. This helps you to endure any pain.

    Here's one wisdom I discovered while writing my book, "The Art of Forgiveness." If we can take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to us -- yes, even those things that others do to hurt us -- then we can never be a victim. Being a victim becomes impossible, because we are responsible. In that idea, is the connection -- the bridge -- to the Heavenly Father, because we parallel the responsibility and love He has for us.

    This is where turning the other cheek takes on real, spiritual meaning.

    1. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This is mature Christianity, if we can so it; I'd like to read your book. Still, I can't believe an infant responsible if parents physically abuse & kill him/her. One philosophy says targets learn a lesson, but  what did the dead 1-month old lear

    2. profile image52
      mickey minnieposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I think what he is saying is good or bad things happen to us not because we cause them, but just because your always going to have good & evil.The way we get through the ups & downs in life is what makes us a victim. When you understand that

    3. nrsparks130 profile image61
      nrsparks130posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      God was grieved upon sending the flood. If you are going to read the story so narrowly, at least recognize he did it reluctantly.  Also, only in the post Charles Hodge, pro-Mark Driscoll era could a one dimensional, uninformed reading like this happe

  25. profile image61
    TheOneClonedposted 9 years ago

    Any woman i an abusive relationship has the right to a divorce, Christian or not.  After 45 years of Christian life, I basically divorced the church.  I grew tired of the control through guilt mentality.  The violence of Christians telling everybody the are going to hell for this and that.  I came to the realization that we are given one chance with one life and I for one want to enjoy the rest of mine.  In all reality, the Christian church caused me to look deeper into things and leave.

    1. cloverleaffarm profile image67
      cloverleaffarmposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Most "Christians" I know are the worst people I know. They don't even know their own religion. Cheers to you.

  26. viewfinders profile image70
    viewfindersposted 9 years ago

    Its your attitude to live or not to live with such a husband. Its not concern with any religion and if you consider the religious rules especially unlawful Christianity, then your life will be spoiled.

  27. cloverleaffarm profile image67
    cloverleaffarmposted 9 years ago

    If a husband abuses a wife, he does not deserve her. She deserves better. Religion should not stand in the way of a person being happy. Divorce, walk away and find a man who will treat you will respect and dignity.

    1. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. In practice, we found those who abuse others having too difficult a time stopping, even with intervention, incarceration, or treatment. For myself, one red flag & I drop the acquaintance, block email, black phone #, etc.

  28. profile image51
    Chyleneposted 9 years ago

    Yes. Everyone knows what Paul said in Colossians 3:18:  "Wives, submit to your is fitting in the Lord " But, of course, they never bother to quote the REST of the verses, where Paul ALSO says, "Husbands, love your wives  love them  as Christ loves his church..."  (My NIV says 'and do not be harsh with them, but that's what the original passage in King James said, I believe.)  If he is emotionally abusive, he does not love you. He has broken his covenant. Emotional abuse can be even more damaging than physical abuse. I know. I've been there.

  29. Akshay Kumar567 profile image57
    Akshay Kumar567posted 9 years ago

    yaaa if a husband abuses a wife walk away and find a man who will treat you will respect and dignity.

  30. profile image52
    Laurentackettposted 9 years ago

    YES! No one deserves to live in that kind of hell.

  31. Anita lesic profile image79
    Anita lesicposted 9 years ago

    Does a Christian woman have a biblical right to divorce her emotionally abusive husband? hm. in the Old Testament,  women did not have that right but now if it is really necessary to divorce then you can.

    Matthew 7
    Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

    always try to  reconcile and try to talk.

    love should be:

    1 Corinthians 13; 1 Corinthians 4-8:
    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    Examine your conscience and renew your love for this man. :* :*

    also read this moral story : http://allkindsofstories4000.blogspot.c … -that.html

    1. Lindsey Nobles profile image60
      Lindsey Noblesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      How does any of this help her if he's just a cruel heartless man? A man that is emotionally abusive won't wake up and be nice. You are talking her into denying her own heart to have love for a man that hurts her? Because the bible tells us so?

    2. profile image0
      Pastor Wolfeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The bible is an control weapon that was designed to give men power over all, it is with this, I say unto you all as a man, Women are more Superior Than men for the shear fact we men can't populate without the women and without the women life dies!!!

  32. IJR112 profile image61
    IJR112posted 9 years ago

    If it's abusive, then you can get out.  Christian or not.

  33. Brittany Kussman profile image71
    Brittany Kussmanposted 9 years ago

    Whether it be emotional or physical abuse no person should have to live with that for the rest of their lives just because they took vows. Marriage is suppose to be something that is celebrated and a joyous time. If the person is living in hell day in and day out that isn't healthy, not to mention what kind of example that sets for young girls, assuming the person has daughters. I'm not a Christian, but the majority of my family is and when my mom was being abused by my step-father they were unaware and when she divorced him because of the abuse they ridiculed her for it and expected her to stand by him when he would hit her in a drunken rage. My mom wanted to set an example for me to stand strong and stand up for myself and any religion that says you should put up with abuse is no religion I would want to be apart of. Now my mom still considers herself a Christian and never even thought twice about the divorce all she thought of was making things better for me and my brother.

  34. adamisimo profile image61
    adamisimoposted 9 years ago

    This is nothing to do with a Christianity! If some man abuse his wife, she has to divorce with him immediately!!

  35. erorantes profile image36
    erorantesposted 9 years ago

    Yes the bible allows you to get divorce. You can contact the leader of your church, and he will guide you through the separation until you get your divorce complete and final. My advice to you with all the best of what I know. Couple verbally abuse their spouse.  Then, physical abuse is next. When this happens.  It is time to walk away. It is important to have a plan  to leave . Have a friend ready to pick you up with a bible in his hands. At the moment you leave . You are helping your spouse to keep the ten commandments. People are different from many years ago. Modern religions uses counselors to help people decide for the divorce.

  36. cheap easy meals profile image59
    cheap easy mealsposted 9 years ago

    Yes of course she can do that, why not. It's fine by the way.

  37. einron profile image53
    einronposted 9 years ago

    No except if he has sex with other women..

    1. Rhoda Talisaysay profile image61
      Rhoda Talisaysayposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      oh? even if he is a sadist and his excitement is to torture you?

    2. profile image0
      Pastor Wolfeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am sorry but all Christianity is about is complete control over their members! A man who beats on a woman deserves to be locked up and with life being in our control the women have the right to do what they want when they want regardless of belief!

  38. Michael Dunhill profile image60
    Michael Dunhillposted 9 years ago

    Let's see, This is what the bible says about it. Malachi 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…
    This verse is frequently translated “God hates divorce” and this is probably the single most often-quoted snippet in Christianity on the subject of divorce. “Everyone” knows that phrase and will tell you it’s in the Bible. Usually, the phrase is understood to mean, “since God hates divorce it is not, and cannot be, God’s will for any Christian to be divorced.”

    That's what we hear a lot, and I bet if you were to look deeply you would find this to be the reason you're asking in the first place. You've been made to feel badly about wanted to get out of this mess.

    Let's look more into it and see what the Lord says, Mark 10:7-9
    King James Version (KJV)
    7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

    8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

    9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

    I have to ask you this, Did God join you and this man together? To help you understand better, Did you and he go before God and say, "Lord, do you want us to marry, do you want us to be man and wife? And, if you did pray about it, did you hear God say, "YES"  See every marriage is not put together by God just because you were married in a Church, and by a Minister, no matter how holy the man might be, does not mean that God was in it, because that would be yous and his job to pray and seek God on the matter of you two being together. I believe that the last time I checked into it God was not approving of anyone be it man or woman being emotionally abusive towards the one they say they love for life. So, I'm safe to say, go for the divorce, get yourself free before this turns from an emotionally to one where he starts hitting on you or worst. I hope this helps. May God bless you with wisdom through Jesus Michael D.

    1. Bruce Lambert profile image58
      Bruce Lambertposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      in the days of moses they did divorce

  39. Palehandsmalone profile image61
    Palehandsmaloneposted 9 years ago

    I believe that even though the Bible may say that in the case of adultery and such that divorce is only okay then, it also depends on the situation.

    When couples divorce because the way the woman does her hair drives him insane and into wanting a divorce, that's not right. When it comes down to a matter of physicality, that's different.

    I believe that it is best to get out of the relationship for your own good and I wouldn't necessarily go to town dating right afterward. God knows what present state your life is in and He understands the true intentions of your heart. I believe if God has someone better in store for you then He will bring him to you without you having to go out searching for him. There's a saying I heard and am going to butcher trying to paraphrase it, but basically, the woman get so lost in God that the man should have to seek Him out to find her. This has always brought me peace in times of singleness when I know I don't want to pursue relationships. Also, I feel like if we continuously seek out relationships without first consulting God and praying about it, we're taking a role from Him.

    Anyway, I hope this helped! Have a great day and I'm praying for you in this!


  40. Samantha Correa profile image60
    Samantha Correaposted 9 years ago

    Of course!! If he is being mean, abusive, and rude then get a DIVORCE!! BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE THAT TREATS YOU LIKE THAT THAT IS YOUR....CHOICE!!!!!!!!!1

    1. yanka24 profile image61
      yanka24posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Bible says that God hates divorce and a woman can't divorce her husband for abuse on biblical views, the only way is if he cheated then she can divorce him without a sin. I know it is hard for those woman out there that get abused everyday. ):

  41. Lindsey Nobles profile image60
    Lindsey Noblesposted 9 years ago

    The Bible is crazy and contradicory.  To follow a God who commanded death be done in his name, took part in infantcide, and asked Abraham to kill his own son in cold blood is also the reason why you won't leave an emotionally abusive relationship?

    Everyone is looking for a savior when, in fact, we are our own saviors.  I'm not agnostic or atheist or anything like that. I'm not saying this to get you to believe anything, what I am doing here is having you look at your belief system and question it's authority.  In the bible it says, "No one can add or detract from the bible" Kiing James did just that and guess what? That's a version of the bible. He fit it to suit the level of control he needed. It was called a unification, but it was a control mechanism.  The divinity of Jesus was decided upon at a council (Council of Nicea) and the bible is just a ripped off version of the Sumerian and Babylonian texts.

    Most Christians believe this stuff because they either grew up with parents that did or they "lost their way" and were vulerable and needed saving, so they believe this God loves them and would never hurt them.  In the bible many times God himself has been a part of infantcide (passover), asked Abraham to show his love and faith by sacrificing his own son, whom he loved so much, to God.  Where in any of this is LOVE?  It's not, it's the use of fear and control to make people believe something blindly hoping to receive some type of blessing.

    We are far greater than what we are told.  We are all connected by this universal and infinite unconditional love. It's INSIDE of each of us.  Looking outside for God to save you only keep you from connecting to and loving yourself and accepting yourself because you are seeking validation and love from a God who has a history of burning cities to the ground for his own amusement. (FEAR BASED religion).

    I have a great deal of compassion and love for you and I understand what you are going through. I'm actually going through a divorce right now for the same reason. However, God himself couldn't appear to me and tell me to stay with this guy because he wrote in this book that if I left he'd send me right to the firey pits of hell. What a loving God who reigns? No.

    Get away from that situaion. It's unhealthy. Maybe seek the love within yourself to heal from this outside of asking for divine intervention because that will only keep you from connecting with your own soul.

    1. profile image0
      Pastor Wolfeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Now this I can say AMEN TO!!!!

  42. KysEyes profile image62
    KysEyesposted 9 years ago

    Coming from a home with a step dad who was several kinds of abusive while I was growing up, It is my firm belief that you have the "Right" to be happy and feel safe in this life. If your husband is treating you poorly, it is not your obligation to stay in that situation and deal with it. We live in a much different world than the world in which the bible was written and had it been written in this time I believe it would be written a little differently. It does 'Not' make you any less of a Christian to leave a man that makes you unhappy. A man that will belittle, degrade, and humiliate a woman is by no definition a man.  God will not condemn you  for removing yourself from an unhealthy situation. Take care of yourself, and if you dont find comfort in the written world then talk to the big man upstairs yourself. He 'Wants' you to be happy.

  43. peachpurple profile image82
    peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

    I don't care whether it is bible or not, abusive is a no no for me

  44. lostohanababy profile image57
    lostohanababyposted 9 years ago

    Yes.  Why not get a divorce from a abusive marriage.  As an American Woman or where ever you may be where home is to you and your family.  There are now laws honored by many churches and approve of Divorce by wife against an abusive husband!

  45. profile image0
    swilliamsposted 9 years ago

    I do believe that being an  abusive person is a form disrespect that acts out in an unfaithful manner. There came a time when even God had to step away from the relationship with his children due to their abusive and unfaithful behavior until a  new generation came about. The bottom line is that if your life is in danger you do need to protect yourself, especially if children are involved. I work for homeless shelters filled with older women who stayed in abusive relationships because they did not have the courage to leave and in the end, the abuse caused mental problems. God is love, and he desires for His children to be safe and free from destruction. This gift of freedom was given to all of us through Christ. Find the courage to break away from abuse. Consult your church or support group.

    1. lostohanababy profile image57
      lostohanababyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well.....said.......May God continue his blessings in your life.........

  46. Oztinato profile image77
    Oztinatoposted 9 years ago

    Yes she does, but she must also be sure that the emotional abuse is not coming from her as well: in which case the couple needs counseling.

  47. onegoodwoman profile image69
    onegoodwomanposted 9 years ago

    This is how I view the problem...........people get ahead or out of step with God's plan. ( I, too, am guilty) and we make our own decisions and promises.     Living up to them becomes difficult and we look for a reason to get out of them or to free ourselves.

    An emotionally abusive husband IS NOT biblical, or in God's design.  If you find yourself in such a need to ask yourself a hard and telling question........Did GOD bless this union?

    Sometimes the answer is no, we were out of step, over excited, or caught up in some sort of fantasy..........these things can be harmful to us.

    If , after, some reflection, you think that you did everything in tune and time.....yes, invest some time in riding out the rough spots.

    (on June 6, 2014)   my hubby and me will be married 25 years............not all days have been joyful..........some have been filled with discontent, disappointing, a few have been downright painful, embarrassing, and traitorours

    You either keep going on together or you get out.........but , please, be fair minded towards your spouse

  48. stuff4kids profile image61
    stuff4kidsposted 9 years ago

    Honey, I don't know much about religious stuff except what I've learned from studying religion academically, so I can't say if there is a biblical precedent, but I can say simply as a loving human being,and a woman, get out of that relationship right now as fast as you can.

  49. sadstill22 profile image60
    sadstill22posted 9 years ago

    yes, nobody can stand abusive hubby. I am sure the church will understand

  50. profile image53
    Michael Doriaposted 9 years ago

    Of course she does. We all have the right to do what we choose. Some might choose to get out and start over with someone else.  Others might remember back to that vow of for better or worse. And, others may realize this is still the person they love and fight for the relationship by figuring out a way to get through to the emotionally abusive husband. In only one out of these three solutions do both people win.


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