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How do you select your spouse?
What is your ideal spouse? How do you find one?
1. Become a "me" expert.
Life is a (personal) journey and only (you) know what it is you need in order to feel loved. Do some serious introspective thinking to determine what traits you need in a mate for life. Until you figure out what it is you want and need in a mate you're likely to let (impulsive connections) and (happenstance) dictate your relationship choices. That's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
2. Create a profile of your ideal mate.
With this exercise you can be as granular as you wish. Answer as many who, where, what, when, and how questions as possible. Examples: Do they live in the city or suburbs? Shop for clothes at upscale department stores/malls or Wal-Mart, work out at a gym? what hobbies/interests do they have? grocery shop at a large chain store or health food store, what occupation? go dancing? follow a particular sport, do charitable work...etc
After you have this image of your ideal mate imagine you are them! Making lists is the easy part. You have to be honest with yourself by asking: "If I were him/her would I want me?" If the answer is (no) then you need to go about cultivating the traits that you believe this type of person would be attracted to.
"Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless (you) are a star!"
4. Be there!
The only way to meet anyone is to be where they're at! You have to run in the same circles. The other alternative is to rely on luck, coincidence, or a chance meeting. Romantics are lonelier than proactive people. If you were very detailed with step #2 than you have a pretty good idea of where to go to meet the type of person you want to meet. For hobby groups check out Meetup.com
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for a relationship that you do, (naturally) agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a (mutual) depth of love and desire for one another. Best wishes!
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
I use to have a number system for people. 10 was someone who was a very good person and attractive. Points can be taken away for bad behavior. People you think are 10 on the outside can end up with a negative number. It was a strange number system.
Find your ideal spouse when you feel most special in their eyes and life.
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Do you consider your spouse to be your soul mate?
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