What are some strategies to help someone get back into the dating scene.
I got out of a serious relationship a year ago, and although I have moved on from him, I am still not over the situation. That being said, I think the best way to move on from that situation is to try to get out there and meet new people. There are so many ways to meet people these days, so what are some strategies that would be me to get back out there, per se?
We can chat with great people on social channel facebook or gtalk (with urs school friends).
To can go to nightclub (pub) - There you can meet with lots of good people and make up new friends to hangover. Regularly in a week, fix up 1 pub and move into that to enjoy, dance and drink!
You can move to parties, wedding occasion - to meet up new ones and get back into your dating scene
Getting into the 'dating' scene is easy once one defines the parameters of and for dating. Very simple actually. Make oneself available. Done deal. However that is not necessarily building a relationship(s). That is dating. Remembering of course a 'friendship' is a relationship.
Meeting people is not really the same. Meeting people is the priority and not dating. Then one discovers people. Usually of interest that will compliment a chosen lifestyle choice or life ambition.
In other words if one wants to party then party. If one wants to bird watch then join a bird watching club. If one wants to associate with like minded persons. i.e. education goals, career goals, social goals, then join one of those associations or organizations. Certainly one will meet new people with like interests.
1. Become a "me" expert.
Life is a personal journey and only you know what it is you need in order to feel loved. Do some serious introspective thinking to determine what traits you need in a mate for life. Until you figure out what it is you want and need in a mate you're likely to let impulsive connections and happenstance dictate your relationship choices. That's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
2. Create a profile of your ideal mate.
With this exercise you can be as granular as you wish. Answer as many who, where, what, when, and how questions as possible. Examples: Do they live in the city or suburbs? Shop for clothes at upscale department stores/malls or Wal-Mart, work out at a gym? What are their hobbies/interests? Do they grocery shop at a large chain store or boutique health food store, what is their occupation
3. Transference
After you have this image of your ideal mate imagine you are them! Making lists is the easy part. You have to be honest with yourself by asking: "If I were him/her would I want me?" If the answer is no then you need to go about cultivating the traits you believe this type of person would be attracted to. Don’t expect to sit next to the moon unless you are a star
4. Be there!
The only way to meet anyone is to be where they're at! You have to run in the same circles. The other alternative is to rely on luck, coincidence, or a chance meeting. Romantics are lonelier than proactive people. If you were very detailed with step #2 you have a pretty good idea of where to go to meet the type of person you want to meet. For hobby and singles groups searches check out Meetup.com. They have all types of activities: Wine tasting, meditation, book clubs, hiking, theater goers, dancing...etc One can gradually get to know people in the groups.
Aside from joining some groups on Meetup.com you may want to consider doing some research on some of the Online dating sites. They are not all "equal". Personally speaking I would avoid the "free sites". Below are a couple resources.
http://www.datingadvice.com/reviews (provides breakdowns of members)
http://lovealert911.com/ ( Has a free download: Avoid the Catfish!: How to date Online Successfully.)
One final note
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for a relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Best wishes!
"1. Become a "me" expert.
Life is a personal journey and only you know what it is you need in order to feel loved. Do some serious introspective thinking to determine what traits you need in a mate for life. Until you figure out what it is you want and need in a mate you're likely to let impulsive connections and happenstance dictate your relationship choices. That's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
2. Create a profile of your ideal mate.
With this exercise you can be as granular as you wish. Answer as many who, where, what, when, and how questions as possible. Examples: Do they live in the city or suburbs? Shop for clothes at upscale department stores/malls or Wal-Mart, work out at a gym? What are their hobbies/interests? Do they grocery shop at a large chain store or boutique health food store, what is their occupation
3. Transference
After you have this image of your ideal mate imagine you are them! Making lists is the easy part. You have to be honest with yourself by asking: "If I were him/her would I want me?" If the answer is no then you need to go about cultivating the traits you believe this type of person would be attracted to. Don’t expect to sit next to the moon unless you are a star
4. Be there!
The only way to meet anyone is to be where they're at! You have to run in the same circles. The other alternative is to rely on luck, coincidence, or a chance meeting. Romantics are lonelier than proactive people. If you were very detailed with step #2 you have a pretty good idea of where to go to meet the type of person you want to meet. For hobby and singles groups searches check out Meetup.com. They have all types of activities: Wine tasting, meditation, book clubs, hiking, theater goers, dancing...etc One can gradually get to know people in the groups.
Aside from joining some groups on Meetup.com you may want to consider doing some research on some of the Online dating sites. They are not all "equal". Personally speaking I would avoid the "free sites". Below are a couple resources.
https://breakupshop.com/dating-site-reviews/ (provides breakdowns of members)
http://lovealert911.com/ ( Has a free download: Avoid the Catfish!: How to date Online Successfully.)
One final note
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for a relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Best wishes!"
This is such excellent advice even 5 years later! I I often read comments from people with no substance and no practical tips that you can take away and incorporate into your own dating life, but this is so use. I know this post is old and you still may not be around but thank you.
Hey Sami my best advice is don't even bother looking, or even think about getting a new partner at all....Instead get busy & i mean really busy, finding all the things that you love doing with your time....As you find all those things you love doing, you will meet all the right kinds of people for you....They will love what you love doing & so your'l have a great connection already, & so it's the best place to meet new people....I'm pretty sure this is a trial run or a test to us all, & if we start to find all the things we love & stand for in life, we will be rewarded along the way with our one & only soul mate, & then live eternally....The most mind boggling part about it all for me, is that we're doing it all to & for ourselves. :-)
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