How do you stay in close contact with your adult children after they have married and moved away?
How do you make plans to see them tactfully? Do you wait for an invitation?
Do you make plans to visit but arrange independent accommodation?
Do you expect to be a part of their new lives? Is this right?
I really think that your adult children would expect you to visit and be part of their lives, this is normal, they wouldn't not want to see you just because they are married.
We moved to another country many years ago and when my husband's mother wants to come, she doesn't ask, we expect her to want to come, and she just books her flight and tells us she is on her way, and that is fantastic, she is very welcome. The same with other relatives.
If my mother and father were still alive, I would expect them also to just come and see us, as they are family.
Obviously I do not know your circumstances, but if you have lost contact, then why not go on Skype or Facebook and start to get involved again, and pick up the relationship where it left off, and then when you feel a little more comfortable speak to your children and tell them that you would love to see them. You are their mother, you should see them, wherever they have moved to, and no matter how their circumstances have changed.
You should be a part of their lives, definitely, a big part, you are family, and this is absolutely right, so don't feel like an outsider, you were the most important person in their lives once, and you are still important.
You should feel that you can ask your children openly and not feel like an outsider, and you must communicate how you feel so that you can understand where you fit in with these changed circumstances.
Most of my 6 adult children keep in contact with me everyday. I get texts, letters, video texts, voice messages, and a few letters. These days phone calls aren't too frequent. They will answer or call back if I call them. They would not here of me staying anywhere except with them. I am always welcome. They wish I would come more, but I am still working for 2 years 10 months. Can't wait to see them more.
This the problem most parents face. When your children marry, another person enters his\her life. You feel confused when you have to censor your words with your own children after marriage. But the mistake lies with the parents. You should understand that your children have their own life to lead. This does not mean they have lost their love for you. When you have friendly relationship with your children you need not wait for an invitation. You can go to see after informing them. You have after all that much of right, don't you? But you should never think of staying with them permanently as you will feel your independence crushed and your self esteem battered if you plan your life with them. You should live independently and visit them occasionally.
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