Why rate of divorce is increasing the world over?

1. 63

   Sundeep Katariaposted 10 years ago

   Why rate of divorce is increasing the world over?
   
   There must be some practices being followed. Statistics tell that between one-third and one-half of marriages in the United States are likely to fail.!!

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2. 60

   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   Good Morning Sundeep,  It's nice to see your smiling face with another very interesting question.
   Yes, the statistics are staggering, aren't they? but not surprising.  IMHO, it is the practices that are NOT being followed that could very well be the problem.
   Amongst the younger adults (of marriage age) it appears that life in general has become a racing rush to the finish, so to speak.  The basic attitude is focused more upon self and ego as opposed to the overall health of the relationship and common family-oriented goals.
   Each individual is convinced that they are separate in all things and need not take the time and concern to come to agreements and perhaps make personal sacrifices which would strengthen them as a partnership.
   Basic morals have gone by the wayside where mutual respect and concern is no longer a priority.  Instead it looks like the "I, Me, Mine" sense of entitlement prevails.
   Rather than the very vital expressions from the heart and nurturing of the spirit, it is now much more all about the physical and the material.
   This is merely my opinion from my viewpoint.  I do see that there are also many young marriages that are happy, successful and long term.  These are the individuals who have learned and practiced to be focused, selfless and committed.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very true! There is way too much "You & Me" and not enough "Us & We" in many marriages these days. People fear losing their "identity" in marriage these days. They continue to think like individuals instead of what's best for the marriage.

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   2. 63

      Sundeep Katariaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I quite agree with fpherj48, dashingscorpio & others. I'm horrified to see people coming to me for marriage astro consultations with (according to their admission) hardly any reason for staying separately / seeking a divorce. THEY JUST WANT TO SP

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3. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   This is sort of a recap answer to one of your earlier questions.
   1. Choosing the wrong mate.
   2. Getting married for the wrong reasons
   3. Having "unrealistic expectations"
   Lastly it can't be ignored that according to statistics women initiate 66% or 2/3rds of all divorces in America. It is believed that better career opportunities and higher pay has made them less financially dependent on their husbands when compared to their grandmother's eras. Divorce was much more a financial hardship for those women.
   The more options one has the less crap they're going to put up with!

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4. 0

   JThomp42posted 10 years ago

   The problem being is people do not take their marriage vows seriously anymore. In my grandparents era, till death do us part really meant something. Divorce is the easy way out of a very tough situation (marriage). Instead of just giving up, they gave more effort to remain together. Plus, it is so easy to get a divorce in this country. My wife and I split up in Nov. and were divorced in Feb. (3 months)

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   1. 60

      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Heck JThomp....I have friends who got it over with in less than 72 hrs by flying to Mexico, handing over $300 and signing on the dotted line. & pls no one tell me Mexican divorces are not legal....because they certainly are. Have been for 100 yrs

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   2. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Having gone through a divorce myself and knowing others who have I think very few people who have done it believe "Divorce is the easy way out." It's a whole lot easier to get married! Las Vegas has drive-thru wedding chapels. Takes courage to go.

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   3. 0

      JThomp42posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      dashing..... no divorce is pretty. What I was implying is most do not take the effort to really make a marriage work. I truly believe we are the generation of failed marriages compared to our grandparents.

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   4. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      JThomp42, I see where you're coming from. One major change has been better careers and higher pay for women. Statistics show it's  (women) who initiate 2/3rds of all divorces. I suppose the more option$ one has the less crap they'll put up with!

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   5. 0

      JThomp42posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very good point dashing!

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5. 78

   Express10posted 10 years ago

   There are various reasons such as people choosing the wrong spouse or getting married before they are both truly prepared and willing. Finances and infidelity are very common reasons for divorce here in the US as well. The issues that occur with blended families can place a fair amount of stress onto a marriage if not addressed in a proactive and positive manner.
   Let's not forget the fakes, those who present themselves as one type of person only to reveal their true negative or even criminal selves after they get married. Nevertheless all of these things tell me that the each of the spouses did not fully know themselves AND their spouse prior to getting married, which appears to greatly contribute divorce.

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6. 91

   lisavollrathposted 10 years ago

   I think you're all missing an important contributing factor: life expectancy.
   
   In the time prior to the 20th century, the lifespan of human beings was shorter. Disease, poor nutrition, poverty, and just plain hard living conditions made life expectancy much shorter. In the 1800s, the average life expectancy was just 35 years. Now, that average is 67 years.
   
   So, marriages in previous centuries were shorter, simply because people didn't live long enough to have that mid-life crisis!

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   1. 47

      Ericdierkerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well also a 15 year marriage would be a full success if say married at 20 and dead at 35.

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7. 47

   Ericdierkerposted 10 years ago

   I think the definition of failed is all skewed. A fourteen year marriage is not a failure because it ends. Geewiz you could have a 4 year marriage where both fell in love with someone else and divorced happily. That is not a "failure".
   
   "until death of love do us part"  The normal vows do not even say what kind of death. Suppose one partner is reborn in the biblical sense --- then he is dead to his old self, does the marriage end immediately? Yes it logically would.
   
   40 years of miserable marriage is not a success. Ten years of a happy one is a success and not a failure.
   "end in divorce" is not a dirty word.
   
   So what are the percentages of happy == that is a real question. Statistics and love are almost irrelevant to each other.
   
   Marriage is alive and well. Shoot if half the western world recognizes same sex marriage as a proper new definition then why not re-define marriage in terms of love and happiness and not longevity?

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   1. 60

      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      "40 years of a miserable marriage is not a success."   Amen and AMEN!  Oh the poor pathetic victims of decades ago who literally WASTED the only life they were given.....bearing w/ the pain and emptiness.  One logical question....WHY???!!

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   2. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      A successful marriage should not be based on time alone. There are lots of "emotionally divorced "couples or one person lives in the basement or they're in different cities but never filed for divorce. They'd be in the successful count!

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   3. 60

      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Scorpio....LOL...that's right!  Those emotionally separated would be counted as successful based on years alone!  (Silly) This is why most random "statistics" and "poll results" fail miserably and do not impress me.

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8. 60

   BobMongerposted 10 years ago

   You're sure this is new?  I've seen newspaper clippings from the 1840s lamenting the "corrupt practice of divorce destroying half the marriages set before God."  There is nothing new under the sun.....

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   1. 63

      Sundeep Katariaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      hmm some new insights about old statistics

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9. 52

   Mona Kposted 10 years ago

   It is increasing in India lot. Main reason now parents make sure daughter study and earn. Once they are making money and they find out person is wrong they will say good bye. Those days are gone where women had no place to go.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That proves one of my points. The more financial options a woman has the less likely is she willing to put up with things she does not like. Divorce is not the same financial hardship that it used to be for women. Men rarely file for divorce.

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