Marriage is like a garden.
It must continuously be nurtured and tended to.
The problem with a lot of couples is they treat marriage like buying a sofa. They shop all over town to find the "right one" and when they do they find a spot in their home and let it sit there for years.
"I'm so glad to be out of that dating scene" or "Now that I'm married I can RELAX and not have to worry about impressing anyone!"
The reality is marriage like employment is an "at will" contract. If one (stops) doing certain things the relationship is likely to be terminated.
No one is planning a divorce on their wedding day. However there is no such thing as a "cruise control" in marriage You're either "growing together" or "growing apart".
Communication is the GPS for letting you know where you're headed.
Like having a garden there is (always) something to do. (seeds to plant, fertilizer to add, watering, weeds to pull, fences to install to protect from pests.
However if it's "true love" it's not seen as "work" but rather a "labor of love". Doing whatever is necessary to maintain (something you chose to have) is being responsible. It's only hard if your (heart) isn't into it.
Yes, it will make you want to make things work and want to give more of yourself for the benefit of your partner. If your partner loves you he/she will also seek to make the relationship work though their efforts. Think about the effort you give to a job/career you love versus one that makes you sick or you hate-while doing what's required the "above and beyond" rarely happens.
For me, it depends. Marriage is shared by two people. It should be a mutual relationship. There are happy times as well as bad times. Collect and make good memories with your partner will build a healthy relationship. For the bad times, learn from mistakes and be open to positive changes. I do believe that there's always a great talk for disagreements and misunderstandings. Briefly, a couple should make their relationship work TOGETHER no matter what happen.
AHD, You said "a couple should make their relationship work TOGETHER (no matter what) happen." Are you saying everyone chooses the right mate for themselves? Verbal/physical abuse or cheating shouldn't be deal breakers? Just stay married. Really?
I think AHD is assuming that everything is good in the marriage. It is obvious that a bad marriage is a different answer to this question.
by ladytfromtheqc 13 months ago
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Divorce is a proof that true love does not exist. Agree or Disagree?
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