A son learned of his father's infidelity.Should the son tell his mother of his father's infidelity?
A man learned through the e-mail of his fathers infidelity. Should the son tell his mother of his fathers infidelity?
He should not, because it could lead to divorce, or serious disagreement which he is going to be the victim. He should rather talk to his father.
This is dependent on so many things that an answer is impossible. How close is the son to the mother and father? How good does the mother think the relationship is? Is it possible the mother and father have an open marriage (not something the son would likely want to think about but possible)? Was the affair emotional or sexual? Do the positives of telling outweigh the negatives? Can the son live with not telling? Can the mother continue on happily without knowing? Is the affair long term or over and done?
I have actually been in a similar situation, and the son chose to keep his mouth shut, keep the evidence, and know that if he ever needed to tell he had that evidence waiting.
There are many things to weigh in a situation like that and the person who finds the evidence has to put their emotions on the back burner to deal with the situation.
When I was a child we were told to "stay out of grown folks business". Assuming the son is still a child it's best to avoid initiating that kind of drama. Teenagers have no way of knowing what the potential consequences might be.
The son also has no idea what his mother already knows or if his parents have a "sexless marriage" and the wife has chosen to turn a blind eye.
The messenger of news such as this is seldom "rewarded". Eventually the truth comes out. I would also probably not confront my father about it as I would have to explain snooping in his email.
However if everyone involved is an (adult) then the son can (intelligently) weigh the potential consequences of informing his mother. You really have to have a strong idea of whether she will be able to deal with it. Will (she) be better off knowing or not? Would she appreciate the truth coming from (you)? You have to know.
I had a friend who hired a private investigator to follow his Father because he had just up and left his family. They were very affluent and there was a business involved. What he found out is that his Father was cheating on all of them. What he did was take the evidence to his Mother's lawyer and waited for the court to decide.
The evidence that he found kept his mother from being put out on the street, she was given half of the business, alimony, etc. So the question we must ask ourselves is are we going to let our Mother suffer from what the Father has done to break up his family. This was after 40 years of marriage by the way. If not for the evidence in court, his Mother would have been in a very bad financial situation. You play, you pay.
It is tough but I think the mother has every right to know about the fidelity. The son will feel guilty and watching his mother go through that painful experience in not telling her will be more of a burden to him. It is never easy but if he does not tell his mother then he would be keeping a secret that will hurt him forever.
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