Is it more mature to walk away than it is to staying involved in a petty bickeri

Jump to Last Post 1-10 of 10 discussions (17 posts)
  1. JMcFarland profile image69
    JMcFarlandposted 9 years ago

    Is it more mature to walk away than it is to staying involved in a petty bickering match?

    There are all sorts of people in the world, and it's safe to say that we all don't get along - especially on HP.  There are one or two people who I've interacted with here who seem to want nothing more than to put other people down when they disagree, and I've told them that I choose not to interact with them anymore.  In response, one told me to grow up.  Is it more mature to simply walk away from interactions with those people, or is it more mature to bicker back and forth with them endlessly and never accomplish anything?

  2. Bubblegum Jones profile image58
    Bubblegum Jonesposted 9 years ago

    It you can do it, then it's better to walk away, but sometimes a person just can't seem to bring them to do this.

  3. jlpark profile image79
    jlparkposted 9 years ago

    You have the right thought, JM. Its more mature to walk away.

    Those who accuse you of immaturity because you won't enter into a bickering match that ultimately won't get either person anywhere is likely the immature one.

    It's is when one feels they are losing the fight (even one that no one wins) that they resort to name calling and calls to grow up.

    Avoiding conflict of an unnecessary nature is a mature thing to do, regardless of what the other party in the conflict has to say about it.

  4. Jeannieinabottle profile image90
    Jeannieinabottleposted 9 years ago

    I would say it is a good idea to put the final word in that you are not going to correspond with that person anymore because you are more mature and have better things to do with your time.  That way, the person will realize when he or she no longer gets a response, it is not because you are intimidated by the remarks; you've simply left the conversation.

    1. JMcFarland profile image69
      JMcFarlandposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I've done that.   They still maintain that is because I'm intimidated by them,  but who cares?   If that's what helps them deal with their own negativity,  that's their own prerogative.  Reflects more on them than anyone else, I think.

    2. jlpark profile image79
      jlparkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, JM - it reflects more on them than anyone else. Hope they get the message soon.

    3. JMcFarland profile image69
      JMcFarlandposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately,  it doesn't seem like they will get the message,  judging by one of the answers already.

  5. junkseller profile image78
    junksellerposted 9 years ago

    Forget about maturity. You should walk away for two reasons. One, your time is better spent elsewhere, and two, because you don't like wallowing in mud. There is no victory down there, just dirt. And if they somehow trick themselves into a position of imagined superiority, so what. They are kings of their pigpen wearing a crown of poo. Congratulations.

    1. JMcFarland profile image69
      JMcFarlandposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well said.

    2. profile image0
      Mel92114posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, perfectly stated.

  6. Rae-LeighDawn profile image60
    Rae-LeighDawnposted 9 years ago

    If it is a person you still feel drawn to conversing with there is always a reason for such conversations. It is a reflection of self.

  7. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

    Stop worrying about what others think!
    You are responsible for your own happiness and well being.
    Some people love to debate, argue, and fight over issues and others do not. You don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
    If you're not careful you can easily allow someone to drag you down into a fight you don't want to have because of a bruised ego.
    It's unrealistic for people to expect to change each other's mind here!

    1. profile image0
      JThomp42posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very well said dashing!

  8. Thomas Swan profile image97
    Thomas Swanposted 9 years ago

    It's clear that backing off is the mature thing to do. If someone said "grow up" for backing off then they want the argument to continue, which must mean they're getting something out of it. If this person typically "puts other people down", then what they get out of it is probably some kind of ego reinforcement in which you (and others) are being used as a `narcissistic supply'. Cutting them off from their supply will naturally make them angrier. I've experienced the same thing on Hubpages on at least two occasions.

    I achieve the best resolution when I stay silent, monitor the situation, don't give them any attention, let the person self-destruct because you're not giving them what they want (they go over the line), and report them.

    If this person is a Christian, then another thing you could do is remind them of what their religion supposedly preaches and where they'll be going if they continue with their abhorrent behavior.

    1. profile image0
      Mel92114posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very true, Thomas.

  9. Aime F profile image70
    Aime Fposted 9 years ago

    Definitely. There's a difference between an intelligent debate and a petty bickering match... and I've noticed that the petty bickering is much more common here. Maybe it's because there's limited space for comments in the Q&A section, I don't know. But I think people who continually descend into petty bickering just don't have that much to offer in terms of a real, honest, possibly even productive conversation, so there's certainly no point in getting dragged into it with them.

    I know I used to try to offer thoughtful responses to some people on here, but stopped as soon as I realized they didn't really care what I have to say, they're just interested in stirring the pot. It's a waste of time and brainpower and anyone who gets upset that you won't participate in it anymore is probably just not capable of discussing things that don't align with their exact train of thought.

  10. profile image0
    Stargrrlposted 9 years ago

    It's definitely wise to walk away from senseless bickering, but you also have to step back and look at yourself--are you coming across in a negative way that would make people become defensive?  Try going back over some old conversations and read some of your comments, and try to look at them from the other person's point of view.  It is quite possible that you put people off.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)