Is it more mature to walk away than it is to staying involved in a petty bickering match?
There are all sorts of people in the world, and it's safe to say that we all don't get along - especially on HP. There are one or two people who I've interacted with here who seem to want nothing more than to put other people down when they disagree, and I've told them that I choose not to interact with them anymore. In response, one told me to grow up. Is it more mature to simply walk away from interactions with those people, or is it more mature to bicker back and forth with them endlessly and never accomplish anything?
It you can do it, then it's better to walk away, but sometimes a person just can't seem to bring them to do this.
You have the right thought, JM. Its more mature to walk away.
Those who accuse you of immaturity because you won't enter into a bickering match that ultimately won't get either person anywhere is likely the immature one.
It's is when one feels they are losing the fight (even one that no one wins) that they resort to name calling and calls to grow up.
Avoiding conflict of an unnecessary nature is a mature thing to do, regardless of what the other party in the conflict has to say about it.
I would say it is a good idea to put the final word in that you are not going to correspond with that person anymore because you are more mature and have better things to do with your time. That way, the person will realize when he or she no longer gets a response, it is not because you are intimidated by the remarks; you've simply left the conversation.
I've done that. They still maintain that is because I'm intimidated by them, but who cares? If that's what helps them deal with their own negativity, that's their own prerogative. Reflects more on them than anyone else, I think.
I agree, JM - it reflects more on them than anyone else. Hope they get the message soon.
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like they will get the message, judging by one of the answers already.
Forget about maturity. You should walk away for two reasons. One, your time is better spent elsewhere, and two, because you don't like wallowing in mud. There is no victory down there, just dirt. And if they somehow trick themselves into a position of imagined superiority, so what. They are kings of their pigpen wearing a crown of poo. Congratulations.
If it is a person you still feel drawn to conversing with there is always a reason for such conversations. It is a reflection of self.
Stop worrying about what others think!
You are responsible for your own happiness and well being.
Some people love to debate, argue, and fight over issues and others do not. You don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
If you're not careful you can easily allow someone to drag you down into a fight you don't want to have because of a bruised ego.
It's unrealistic for people to expect to change each other's mind here!
It's clear that backing off is the mature thing to do. If someone said "grow up" for backing off then they want the argument to continue, which must mean they're getting something out of it. If this person typically "puts other people down", then what they get out of it is probably some kind of ego reinforcement in which you (and others) are being used as a `narcissistic supply'. Cutting them off from their supply will naturally make them angrier. I've experienced the same thing on Hubpages on at least two occasions.
I achieve the best resolution when I stay silent, monitor the situation, don't give them any attention, let the person self-destruct because you're not giving them what they want (they go over the line), and report them.
If this person is a Christian, then another thing you could do is remind them of what their religion supposedly preaches and where they'll be going if they continue with their abhorrent behavior.
Definitely. There's a difference between an intelligent debate and a petty bickering match... and I've noticed that the petty bickering is much more common here. Maybe it's because there's limited space for comments in the Q&A section, I don't know. But I think people who continually descend into petty bickering just don't have that much to offer in terms of a real, honest, possibly even productive conversation, so there's certainly no point in getting dragged into it with them.
I know I used to try to offer thoughtful responses to some people on here, but stopped as soon as I realized they didn't really care what I have to say, they're just interested in stirring the pot. It's a waste of time and brainpower and anyone who gets upset that you won't participate in it anymore is probably just not capable of discussing things that don't align with their exact train of thought.
It's definitely wise to walk away from senseless bickering, but you also have to step back and look at yourself--are you coming across in a negative way that would make people become defensive? Try going back over some old conversations and read some of your comments, and try to look at them from the other person's point of view. It is quite possible that you put people off.
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