How do you stop the feeling of loneliness?

1. 73

   SilentMagentaposted 10 years ago

   How do you stop the feeling of loneliness?
   
   This question is for ladies who have decided to be single for a long term. How to deal with the lonely nights? Any advice?

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2. 0

   lyndapringleposted 10 years ago

   I don't currently have this problem but I did in between break ups with boyfriends.  The nights were indeed the hardest because one can keep busy throughout the day.  It's at night, when our body relaxes when all the racing thoughts of loneliness and wondering if one will ever find a mate find their way into your mind.  Sleeping pills were such a boon during this time but I was only given a limited amount and they don't address the loneliness you are discussing.
   
   When I didn't have a boyfriend, I did do a lot of volunteering.  I'd volunteer twice a week and not be home until 9:00pm.   By then, I was too tired to think of much and I know this sounds like a cliche and the problems of others does not minimize our own, but that volunteer work made me glad for the simple things I did have such as money from a job, my apartment, a car, and a means to get some entertainment.  But the real help of the volunteer work, along with a regular job is that it left me too tired for much thinking for at least twice a week.
   
   I never did get a pet but having one would be a wonderful idea.  I suggest a cat if you are gone long term from your home or live in an apartment.  Pets are wonderful, giving and loving creatures and they will help ease the loneliness you are experiencing because you won't be alone at night if you have a cat or two with you. 
   
   Also, pick up some hobbies.  My two favorites are reading and blogging.  This is something you can do right before you go to bed.  The reading will distract your mind and the blogging can be used to assuage your feelings.  I suggest a forum like Live Journal if you are more interested in blogging about more personal thoughts.
   
   Anyhow, I've had lonely nights without men but also lonely nights with men I've dated and it is so much better to be alone and have the bed to myself than to be entangled in a bad relationship.  Your question states that you have made a conscious decision to be single for a long term and, if that's the case, you will get used to sleeping alone and learn to create a life for yourself where the nights become nothing more but restful sleep for you.

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   1. 73

      SilentMagentaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. I will take you advise and volunteer.

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3. 69

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Being single is a relationship or marital (status) one lists on a form.
   A person can have 5 dates a week with 5 different people and still consider them self to be "single" or "free" and not in a "committed relationship". Lots of "single" people have "friends with benefits" or "booty calls" with people they know while they're still seeking "Mr. Right" if you're talking about dealing with physical loneliness.
   Loneliness  from a (mental) point of view is a feeling of being "disconnected" from everyone in the world at a particular moment. It's even possible to be in a room crowded with people or even be married and yet still (feel) alone/lonely. It's a feeling that "no one gets me". Keeping things in perspective is the key.
   Everyone you admire or believe has it all together also have moments of loneliness, feelings of insecurity and doubt. Understanding one's loneliness is temporary can keep it from developing into "depression".
   Focus on things that bring you joy or read books that inspire you, go to the gym consider joining some hobby groups on Meetup.com, have a night out with the girls, take in a movie, or hang out with some family members. Develop some "me time" activities to spoil yourself.
   Anyone who sincerely enjoys their own company rarely feels loneliness.
   Being physically alone on a planet with 7 billion people is an intentional act. There are tons of places to meet and engage with other people. You'd have to deliberately withdraw to be alone.
   If you actually want to be in a relationship but are avoiding situations where you could meet new people then your loneliness is by choice and it's the equivalent of going on a strict diet.
   What helps people to maintain self-discipline in those situations is they have an "end goal" that is bigger and better than any temporary moment of satisfaction they'd have by breaking their promise.
   The goal has to be big enough in your mind to justify the sacrifice.

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4. 0

   Jessie Lee2626posted 10 years ago

   The feeling of loneliness can be one of the worst feelings in the world but sometimes it can be just what a person needs. I have been in & out of relationships most of my life and rarely been single. A few years ago I was single for a whole year. Everyone around me was saying that it would be the best time of my life, no it was the opposite. I hated being alone, I don't have many friends to begin with so I literally spent most nights alone with my dogs. When I was dating, I would be out every night just so I wouldn't be alone. In that year I dated people that I shouldn't have and my life was lonelier than ever. Then I meant the love of my life & realized that I was meant to be in a relationship. My boyfriend taught me that it was okay to go & do things and we didn't have to be up each others ass(this is something I was unable to do in past relationships). Before you get in a relationship it's always best to get to know yourself first!

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   1. 73

      SilentMagentaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thats my worries as well. I have always been in and out of relationships. This will be my first time being single for a long period of time. I am hoping to get to know myself better through it.

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