Loneliness. Why do women end up with pets and guys with computers?

1. 82

   kallini2010posted 13 years ago

   Loneliness.  Why do women end up with pets and guys with computers?
   
   It's not a question about who ends up with who or what, women with computers or guys with pets, or both genders with pets and computers.  It is a question why do we fail to form relationships between each other and suffer from loneliness when we don't have to?
   
   

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2. 59

   Matt in Jaxposted 13 years ago

   I don't think that this is always the typical, but men find a lot of solace in computers. There's so many options of things to do and kind of shut yourself out of the world and I think women are more emotional-bound and so they express there relaxing time as something emotionally investing, like an animal.

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3. 68

   DonDWestposted 13 years ago

   You may not like my answer, but here goes: valuing security over risk.
   
   And this is mostly the woman's choice.

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      tussinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Succinct and so true.

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4. 72

   lburmasterposted 13 years ago

   I agree with JonDWest. Most women do not want to risk being with another person. People lie, betray, harm, wound, etc. Loyal animals will never betray you and are always there when you need them. As a bonus, they don't talk back!

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5. 62

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   In an attempt to be funny answering another men/women question, I "issued a blanket statement alert" on that question.  I'd like to do the same here, but if it was at all funny the first time it probably won't be funny again. 
   
   I'm far from lonely, but I can tell you that (as my name probably suggests) I'm a woman.  My youngest child has recently moved out of the house, and I don't pretend I don't miss having her coming and going.   She and her brother have moved in or out at one time or another (living at school, getting one place or another, etc.) over the last few years; and through it all, when I've been working or spending free time, I've spent a lot of time with my face stuck up against a computer screen.  I joke to people that although I've never been someone to "love" material things - I really do love my computers.   
   
   Besides pangs of missing one grown child or another, I'm not without a few pangs of missing one pet or another that has either died or left my home to move in with its rightful "owner" (I don't like the word, "own", when it comes to living things.)
   
   These days, I am pet-less (after a lifetime of always having at least one pet) and have no plans of changing that cat-vomit-free state I now enjoy.
   
   On the other hand, I know lots of guys (of varying ages) who have pets (and, yes, who also have computers; but so does everyone else these days).
   
   In any case.....    "Blanket Statement Alert" on this question, as well as that one I mentioned.       
   
   Pets or computers, as far as relationships go, I've had one that didn't work out well (but changed in a positive way) and generally have no problems with most relationships.  "Loving" one's computer (and/or smart phone) and/or having a beloved pet (or two) have nothing to do with whether we have solid relationships or not.

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6. 61

   TheBlondieposted 13 years ago

   That stuff can never disappoint you. Having a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband can be fulfilling, but it is a lot of work and there can be bumps along the way. Pets will never tell you you look "sorta fat" in a dress, and a computer will never complain that you never help with the housework. Its just easier, and even if it does sound sad, being single can be much better than having a relationship.

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7. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   First of all I believe we have to acknowledge that not everyone who is not in a "relationship" feels sad or lonely.
   Connecting with people is always a choice.
   
   When someone decides they would rather not be in a relationship it's usually because they have been hurt "too many times" and they don't trust themself enough to make a better choice when it comes to selecting the "right mate". It's just easier for them to go it alone or live in a cyber world.
   
   It takes more "courage" to open up your heart and fall in love a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time than it does the first time.

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8. 71

   tritrainposted 13 years ago

   I have both.  I would take a pet over a computer any day.
   
   I think you're right about how men and women tend to fill their emptiness with fuzzy things and technology.

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9. 0

   marellenposted 13 years ago

   I have a wonderful pet and a computer. I love them both for different reasons. I'm not married or in a relationship by choice. Being hurt and cheated on in the past, I prefer to be alone but I wouldn't say I was lonely. You're only as lonely as you want to be.

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10. 60

    zduckmanposted 13 years ago

    
    
    Well, I don't think thats the way it works out personally. I have a cat who has been a wonderful companion. If your companion is your computer....I highly suggest you go to a shelter where you can save a life, and get a companion in one fell swoop.

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11. 61

    ChristineVianelloposted 13 years ago

    I believe that being out of a relationship one would try to fill that void that was once there. I would acutally say that it seems that woman do seem to buy animals because we have a nurturing nature about us.

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12. 64

    Globetrekkermelposted 12 years ago

    Loneliness is normal, I think.I have yet to see or hear one person say  that he /she has never been lonely at one point in their lives.Monotony of life and humdrum existence  is a factor in loneliness .Also,there seems to be a need of change in our lives that eventually breeds loneliness.That's my take.

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    1. 82

       kallini2010posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you for your answer, but I might have failed to stress that when we fail to establish relationships with each other we settle for animals. Those relationships are called parasocial - where there is only one human.

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13. 57

    tussinposted 12 years ago

    There are some people for whom "loneliness" as you describe it is preferable to being with other humans whom they are not compatible with, and these people may be very incompatible with most people. Some people are simply happier not having to compromise or share their space.  You cannot rule out the possibility that it is by choice.

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    1. 82

       kallini2010posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       It is very true, Tussin. There is a difference between loneliness and solitude and it is not every connection that will decrease your loneliness.  Unfulfilled connections INCREASE loneliness.  People who are lonely know they are lonely, though.

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    2. 69

       Anti-Valentineposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       "I'm alone, not lonely."

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14. 79

    Express10posted 12 years ago

    Three of my common observations are that most people are not effective communicators and others are simply mean or lazy. Relationships require both parties to work together and compromise. There can't be shortcuts and selfishness. I see men and women who are with their dream catch only to later get lazy and allow themselves to stop communicating openly or they let themselves go. Some choose to indulge in temptation and once they realize the grass isn't greener they're miserable. Frequently the scorned one can find someone even more desirable.
    
    I have a few colleagues and friends that have lived through this on both sides. Others make the choice to put careers or other things and people first, rather than making their love life a priority. After they begin to believe their "prime" has passed, they'd often rather not make the effort needed to find and maintain a relationship. Let us not forget those who believe their own mental fiction that has absolutely no basis in reality, which makes them less desirable to be around no matter what other attributes they may have.

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15. 60

    ReneeDC1979posted 12 years ago

    Because women hold on too long and miss out on Mr. Right, and men let go too fast.

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