Single Parent

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  1. Rossimobis profile image69
    Rossimobisposted 14 years ago

    It is becoming a way of life especially in the developed countries and mainly among women to adopt single parenting as the a way of life.
    It takes two heads to make a good parent besides God who made them at the beginning made them man and woman.The effect of single parenting tells more on the kids who are always valuable to the negative effects of the environment.When i talk of single parent,i meant the cases whereby a woman will have two or more kids for more than one man and term to bring these kids up alone or in case whereby she will choose not to live under the roof of a man thus just have a baby or two with one man and remain independent.
    The morals we need to bring up kids can be achieved and plant into kids when the two parents are around though there are yet single patents out there who raised beautiful children alone but we should understand that single parenting effects the up bringing of our kids.
    There are areas where fathers need to be in control as the child develop his/her teen/adult senses therefore it is much better for both parents to guide a child than for just one.
    For you young ladies out there, who feel that it is all about making babies,have it in mind that it takes so much to be a mother though you can easily make a baby.

  2. Dame Scribe profile image56
    Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

    Single parents isn't always by choice and making that assumption is unfair. Environment counts for the mother too to choose to stay or leave with her children then there's compatibility issues that may arise with children entering a couples relationship causing changes. Lots of other points but passing judgement on single parents isn't nice. tongue Single parents have it tough enough without having judgements passed upon them and they learn to become far more resourceful and yes, independent. Single parenting is not a crime. big_smile

  3. Lynda Gary profile image60
    Lynda Garyposted 14 years ago

    I work with inner city youth.  I've seen first hand what this guy means. There is a certain "status" obtained by young girls, usually black, who get pregnant.  They tell the guy that they are on birthcontrol and they aren't.  This doesn't change the guys' responsibility to use a condom, but in the heat of the moment when he thinks she is protected .... Well, you know the rest.

    My youngest "son" (by law, not by birth) is a "baby daddy."  His "baby momma" won't even left him HOLD the baby, much less be a father to him.

    It's a pattern.  It happens.  ANd I agree: It is wrong.

  4. Lyrickkw profile image66
    Lyrickkwposted 13 years ago

    I have been a single parent for almost 7 years. It was stressful in the begining. I had to learn that I was not my fault, it was my life just starting a new chapter. I felt like my change each day. Through it all I learn that it was all worth it being the parent who watch her baby grow. It would have been nice to have the other parent there to assist in her grown, but you can't force someone to be there if they don"t want to be. I just learn to accept what needs to be accepted and move on. Life is too short thinking about the past's shoulda, coulda and woulda. I only focus now on the love and joy of me and my child.

    1. Lyrickkw profile image66
      Lyrickkwposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      sorry for misspelled words

  5. lrohner profile image68
    lrohnerposted 13 years ago

    Your statement doesn't make any sense at all. You say children of single parents are missing out. And then you qualify a "single parent" as a woman who has children by more than one father. Huh? If I had three children by three different fathers, why would my children be worse off than if I had three children by the same father?

    This is not just about the women. It takes two to make a baby. Your argument here is very discriminatory in nature and an insult to women. If the men didn't act like spoiled children and run off when the hard work started, there wouldn't be single women raising children.

  6. Lisa HW profile image63
    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    Two good, loving, parents is ideal; but there are lots of married parents who have a situation when only the mother raises the kids.  The father may work long hours, come home and sleep, travel, and maybe spend a little time with the family on the weekend.  There are also lots of kids who have distant fathers or bad fathers, and that's not a great home environment either.

    Experts have said that a child needs one, solid, good, loving, parent in order to be OK.  Two is ideal and great, but one can do the job effectively if that one knows what's she doing.

    The more important factor (married or not) is whether potential parents are mature enough, emotionally stable enough, and willing to give up some of the stuff that usually needs to be given up in order to put in the right efforts and attention to being a good, loving, mature, parent.

    If a mother knows what she's doing and knows how have her children respect her, her teens will listen to her (sometimes more than they'd listen to a father, especially if their mother is someone they trust and respect).

  7. Single With Kids profile image60
    Single With Kidsposted 11 years ago

    I'd be interested to know what experience the original poster has of single parents? Hearsay? Friends? The media perhaps?

    Whilst the UK media likes to portray single parents as feckless teenagers who either have forgotten contraception or have planned to have children as a means to benefits, it couldn't be further from the truth - less than 2% of single parents in the UK are teenagers. The median age of single parents in the UK is in fact 38 with around a half of single parents divorced or bereaved.

    There's no doubt the ideal situation would be a loving family home: an extended family for support, a supportive community, a happily married mum and dad and loving siblings and a happy, family home without stress, money worries or anything else that could blight childhood. But how many of those boxes can all families tick?  Is it better to stay in a hostile, angry, unhappy environment with two parents, or a happy, calm, loving home with one?

    Children need love, time, care and attention by the bucket load - whether from one parent or two, one carer or a whole extended family of them. It is wrong to suggest that raising a child in a single parent home will blight their lives - poor parenting, whatever the circumstances, is the key factor in raising dysfunctional families and this is found in married families in equal measures.

  8. psycheskinner profile image83
    psycheskinnerposted 11 years ago

    I was raised by a single parent and turned out to be a non-criminal, fully employed, normal person.

    None of these "rules" are as straightforward as the moralists would have us believe.

  9. Hollie Thomas profile image60
    Hollie Thomasposted 11 years ago

    It would have been nice to have opened this thread and read how someone might want to congratulate lone parents, male of female, for the effort and work that they have put into raising a family. It's interesting how the op appears to want to condemn women who raise children alone, whilst talking about  the *ideal* family type. There isn't one.

    Perhaps some recognition of how many lone parents do their up most to turn out decent, honest and well rounded members of society might be in order, rather than continuous criticism of those who take their responsibilities seriously.

  10. Single With Kids profile image60
    Single With Kidsposted 11 years ago

    Well said Hollie!!  And while the original poster criticises single mums, what about those fathers who have simply left, never to be seen again? Is that the mum's 'fault' too?

    I have been a single mum now for the best part of 7 years and really wouldn't have it any other way now - it's a far more peaceful and happy environment than a background of an unhappy marriage. My kids are happy and balanced and performing well at school - certainly not dysfunctional and damaged. Tthrough my work I meet literally thousands of single parent families, few of whom conform to the (false) stereotypes.  Unfortunately the success stories don't make news, it's far easier for the media to use us as scape goats or for people who have absolutely no experience of single parenting to wag the finger and condemn us without any understanding whatsoever.

    Parenting is a difficult challenge in itself, doubled if there's only one of you. Perhaps if those who prefer to sit and criticise chose to encourage, praise and support then at least there'd be moral support.

    1. Hollie Thomas profile image60
      Hollie Thomasposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I've been a lone parent for ten years and can't imagine life any other way. I don't believe there is an *ideal* family *type* anyway. Ideal is an environment where kids feel loved and cared for, are encouraged to reach their potential and feel confident and assured in their surroundings. One parent can offer this, be it man or woman, so can two men or two women- it doesn't have to be the conventional family type.

      Perhaps that's why some men feel the need to denigrate lone mothers, or gay couples with children, maybe they think the superior role of the patriarch has seen it's day. I wouldn't disagree.


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