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What do you do when you're bored in your relationship?
I have been in an on and off again relationship for eight years. A part of me believes I should leave and then another part of me wants to stay. What do I do? I feel stuck in a rut with this relationship. I don't know if I should leave or stay. He's a good guy, but I feel as though the relationship is going nowhere. We don't want the same things. We are at two different places in our lives.
"We don't want the same things. We are at two different places in our lives."
Your above statement contains your answer!
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things that you want, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Being "bored in a relationship" is a code phrase for "I'm NOT in love!"
Eight years is a long time to be in a "yo-yo" or "on and off again relationship. Oftentimes couples who experience this "romanticize" their situation with phrases such as "We can't stay together and we can't stay apart."
The reality is they've become "comfortable" with their drama.
It takes courage to break free from a "dead end" relationship and start anew.
Having said that you should analyze your statement.
"I feel as though the relationship is going nowhere."
What does that (really mean) to you?
Oftentimes women in particular will use this statement when they want to get married. The sad reality is there is nothing "magical" that happens after you walk down the aisle! You'll still be the same two people after you cut the cake and have your solo dance.
The wedding lasts for one day and marriage is (supposed) to last for life.
If he has to (change) in order for you to be "happy" or you have to (change) for him to be "happy" that's a clue that you may be with the wrong person!
Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are!
People don't usually "change" unless (they) are unhappy.
just think if you were to marry him and do different things for the next 50 years, what will it be? Pointless right?
Since you are not married; end the relationship and go your separate ways to test the relationship itself. Sometimes absence allows the hearts to become fonder. If indeed you were meant to be with this person it will be revealed in your absence from each other. Perhaps by going your separate ways you will most "coincidently" come across your soulmate...
Most partners are bored or become bored once they get used to each other. Change the routine and do something different. If you enjoy a certain activity go ahead and do it.
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