Do you believe there is an age that is too young to get married?
Yes I do believe that.
Personally myself I have been married at a very early age but I do suggest for a matured age to be married. Its important for both the boy and girl. A matured age would generally built a stronger foundation for the relationship. If one gets married at a very early age the pressure on both the persons is always high. You got to understand each other. Its always very much different then an affair no matter how long it is. Because staying with the person 24 x 7 makes a lot of differences which one can not foresee. After you understand each other there is always the family and societal aspects that comes with a marriage. Then the career prospects are also always there. Study and getting stronger in career is important before one gets married. Then life becomes bit easier. Else you got to face it much different way then one may actually think.
I am speaking from a personal front and from my first hand experience. You need greater patience and perseverance to make it work. But to enjoy your marriage one should be emotionally strong as well. The support system and the dependence factor should be balanced in a marriage for a better relationship.
Thank you for an interesting question here.
I got married at 23, my wife was 22. We were young, that's for sure. But we had lived together for a few years prior to marriage. I do think there is an age that's too young for marriage, that would be 18 or younger as a general rule. And for most people, that would be 21 or younger. My parents were married at 19 or 20 and had their first child (me) within a year. They're still together today. Maybe not the happiest, but together. I have a friend who just got married not too long ago. He was 20, his bride 19. He never said it aloud, but I'm sure he got married because he got her pregnant. And I feel terrible for him. Giving up so much to support a woman he was about to leave just because she was pregnant.
A marriage based upon circumstances rather than love is likely to fail. An age goal, unplanned pregnancy, ultimatum, all of their friends are married, deploying for military duty, or "tired of being single" are all (wrong reasons) to get married.
It depends on how much money will have the new family. If the parents support them with money, they can get married at agest of 12-14. This is happening in my contry in families of gypsies.
If the parents have to support a couple then they're still "dependents" and not "independent". If you can't take of yourself then you're not ready to be married or bring children into the world. One man's opinion!
In wealthy gipsy families, this is not a problem. Children continue parent's businesses, they learn their job, and soon they will be able to produce their money.
12 to 14???!! Is this some sort of joke? I don't care if the parents pay their bills, or the Wizard of Oz performs the ceremony! 12-14 yr. olds are CHILDREN in every sense of the word. Please..try not to justify this insanity!
Yes I believe it's possible to be too young for marriage.
The vast majority of young people have not done any serious introspective thinking to figure out who (they) are let alone what they want and need in a mate for life.
What makes for an "ideal mate" at age 18 or 19 may not be what you want at age 25, 30, or beyond. Our desired traits for a mate tend to change as we evolve and gain life experience. Generally speaking young people have not gained enough experience to formulate a "mate selection" process for themselves.
They usually allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices. It's like going shopping without a list!
Getting married too young is equivalent to going to a champagne brunch buffet and choosing your whole meal from the very first food station without bothering to see what else is available to you.
Youth is a time to explore, focus on education, establish a career path, date, travel, and formulate your own life philosophy based upon your experiences and the wisdom you have gained. It's also good to have had your own place and lived alone for a while.
Most young people ignore the reality of how important it is to be financially prepared for marriage. Intentionally making your life harder than it has to be by getting married early and starting a family (before) establishing a career which will provide enough money to meet financial obligations such as apartment/mortgage, cars, insurance, food, furnishings, clothing, and possible daycare expenses is asking for problems. Hope is not a plan.
If the couple has to rely on their parents for continuous financial help then they are not ready to be parents themselves.
Lastly there is nothing "magical" that happens after you get married. Too often young people have an unrealistic (fairytale) image of marriage. Your mate is not going to love you more simply because your title has changed. Marriage is not something to be checked off on your life's "to do list". It's an ongoing venture.
The real work starts with attempting to build and sustain a life together. One has to think beyond "the cake" and "the dress" because a wedding only lasts for one day!
Marriage is suppose to be for "life" but with a divorce rate of 50% along with couples who "stay together unhappily" or live apart without filing for divorce odds are against you having a life filled with sunshine and rainbows.
You have to be ready....
Thank you to every one who took the time to answer. While I agree with most of you, there are a few things I'd like to add and/or change.
First of all, 12-14 may be socially acceptable in some cultures, I agree that is way too young. Some girls haven't even became a woman yet, some boys are incapable of being men just yet. While I can see some cultures where marriages are pre-arranged at that age, I cannot see why they would want marriage right then. When I was 12-14 I was worried about school, what I wanted for myself in adulthood as a career, who I wanted to be. Although I had the fantasies of who my dream husband would be; someone who never holds me back, encourages me in whatever I want or set out to do, helps me up when I fall down and that never makes me feel less equal to him in comparison but who loves me for me and all my quirks. However, I never wanted marriage right then, I felt I was too young, immature and not ready.
Which brings be to my next point. I felt I wasn't ready then, but when the time came where I felt I was ready- I had just barley turned 19. Seems pretty young to most I know, but I had already lived outside my mom's house the majority of the time from when I was only 16, having consistent job(s) while still attending school full time.
In my case, I know what expenses life carries in more than just the financial sense, had and have a fairly concrete goal of what career I want, am currently on the path to obtaining a degree in such-dated the man I married for over a year and a half after knowing him for nearly 5 years at the time we got married, and know he's exactly my dream husband.
While I agree life is an ongoing venture, I felt I was and know I am ready to share mine with some one. Our crazy abnormal, rollercoaster ride of a life is just that, but it's ours and we chose the other to share the ride with.
Our desired traits, wants and needs will tend to change as we evolve and gain experiences, yes indeed. If you feel you are ready and know either from past experiences or current mentality level; all I have to say is live with them for at least a year, go through hardships, stressing where the next meal will come from or money to pay electric, see how they deal with and handle life daily, how you as a couple will solve such hardship(s)- then decide if not only you yourself are ready but if you as a couple are ready as well. Marriage is for life,love,pain,smiles,laughs,hugs, and tears, marry who will go through it with you.
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