Why are we nice to people we don't like?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. davidlivermore profile image96
    davidlivermoreposted 3 years ago

    Why are we nice to people we don't like?

    There are people I know, work with, etc., that I am nice to, but I don't like them at all.  Why?  Why can't I just say I don't like them so I don't have to make small talk?  There are people I don't respect, so why must I act like I respect them?  Why is it forced on society that we have to be nice to everyone just because we work with them?  Why can't I say I don't like someone so I don't have to talk to them unless I am required to do so?

  2. Edward J. Palumbo profile image87
    Edward J. Palumboposted 3 years ago

    If you expressed your dislike, would you improve anything? Would you educate or alienate them? We are nice to those we don't particularly like because it's the civilized way to interact. While not a personal connection or extension, it's a product of human respect and (difficult though it may be at times) it's the better choice to make, the more polished approach. You may not respect that individual but, if you express that distaste or rejection, you will accomplish nothing praiseworthy. Ever wonder how health care personnel often seem to manage great patience with obnoxious or very demanding patients?
    These people are but a passing storm or bump in your road. Don't let them take the joy out of your life. If you must, make a game out of countering their unpleasantness with patience and kindness. As you move past them, they may marvel at your professionalism or polish without really knowing that you really don't like them at all!
    A work environment is (or should be) a collaborative effort, a team. If you express your dislike, you will erode the fabric of that teamwork and the possibility of productive cooperation. At day's end, you can take some satisfaction in your self-discipline.

  3. fpherj48 profile image79
    fpherj48posted 3 years ago

    Yes...BRAVO, Edward.....I would parrot your very words.  I suppose David, we don't HAVE to do anything we don't want to just because it is more socially acceptable, but then it will be you who appears to be the unlikable one.  Why do that to yourself? 
    It doesn't hurt to say Hello and use simple courtesies to everyone....even those we tend to dislike.  You don't have to smile real wide or hug them or go overboard, for heaven's sake.
    Realize that most people who are paying attention, probably know that they aren't the most popular person in the office or that people tend to be adverse to their personality.  Guess what?  There are people who couldn't care less who likes them and who doesn't.  Thus, it would do nothing to add to the general overall situation to actually tell them...."Hey! I don't like you."......LOL.  I don't think I could even say that to someone.  It sounds so KINDERGARTEN.
    Just play nice David......you needn't be blood brothers with everyone!  LOL..........Good question......I think.  LOL

  4. peachpurple profile image82
    peachpurpleposted 3 years ago

    If you are working in a company, you have to act falsely even though you hate them. Otherwise you will become the black sheep instead

  5. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    Actually no one can "force you be nice to others.
    For the most part it comes down to whether or not (you) as an individual (benefits) by being rude or disrespectful towards your fellow colleagues. You can always keep conversations polite and brief.
    It's usually the person who has proven they can work with people of various personality types and accomplish a task that gets promoted.
    No matter what line of work you're in there is a certain amount of political decorum required to navigate your way to the top. Unless one is content with being at or near the bottom they're going to have to learn to make lemonade out of lemons from time to time.
    Generally speaking no matter how much we dislike someone they usually have at least one redeeming quality or something that we don't find completely offensive. You want to focus on the positives as much as you can. Focusing on negatives just leads to frustration and unhappiness. View it as a strategic game of chess. Play to win!

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)