Is it ok to be in relationship with someone you don't love just because they are

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   Pari99posted 10 years ago

   Is it ok to be in relationship with someone you don't love just because they are amazing person?
   
   Do you think it is right when people choose to be in a relationship with someone they don't love anymore just because their partner is a wonderful human being & they don't want to hurt them?

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   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   I believe there are times in everyone's life where they are dating for fun and not looking for "the one".  Essentially things are comfortable and they're "going with the flow". However things can get dicey if their mate professes love and wants to pursue marriage as an option.
   Truth be told when it come to relationships most of us fail our way to success.  If it weren't so we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts! LOL!
   I've actually heard of some people who live by the philosophy of: "Don't marry someone (you) love. Marry someone who loves you!"
   Singer Jimmy Soul had a monster hit in the 60s with the lyrics:
   "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life (never) make a beautiful woman your wife."
   Apparently the belief is unattractive women will work harder to (please you) because they know they're "fortunate" to have you.
   Naturally the person with the least amount of emotional investment in a relationship controls it. I think it's a very cynical way to view relationships.
   In other instances there are women who have been known to go out on dates with men they are NOT attracted to because he's "nice" or meets all of their other must have requirements to be considered a "great catch".
   Not long ago author Lori Gottlieb had a bestselling book titled:
   "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough"
   In her book she's advocating women let go of the dream of finding the dashing charming handsome super successful man who is a "rock star" in bed and showers his woman with gifts and trips while professing his undying love. After all such men have an army of women pursuing them.
   "Mr. Good Enough" could be a shoe salesman, FedEx driver, insurance salesman, a salesman in the appliance department of Sears, or a financial advisor.
   He may not make her heart beat faster but he has a steady job, decent income, is loving, loyal, supportive, dependable, and safe.
   After years of heartbreak chasing after the "bad boy" or the men who are in demand it's a practical decision to settle down with "Mr. Good Enough".
   I don't think I could spend the rest of my life with someone where I felt no romantic interest or passion for them. I also would hate to discover that I was "Mr. Good Enough" and not the man my wife is "in love" with.

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      Pari99posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanx for your answer @dashingscorpio,I agree with you.It is an individual's choice to be with or not to be with someone,but if you choose to stick with someone you don't love is sad.Like you,even I would hate to discover that my man doesn't love me.

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   Phil Perezposted 10 years ago

   Well that's it. You don't love the other person. But that'll eventually grow into loving them. That's up to you though. You can't say you "don't love them anymore." You never did. You can care about them like you do, but love is your goal. But if you chose to be in a relationship you were supposed to understand that. you're trying to achieve love. If you want to just care for them, there's no point in leading the other person on if you aren't willing to grow with them. If you have to question it, then it probably isn't right since you were unsure going into this relationship (for whatever reason). Prioritize your feelings and thoughts first of all, then judge whether you're fit to go into a committed relationship.
   
   That's my honest opinion. Hope you didn't take what I said too harshly.

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      Pari99posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanx for taking your time to answer @Phil Perez. I think that was an honest answer. I agree with the point where you said "If you want to just care for them, there's no point in leading the other person on if you aren't willing to grow with them."

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      Phil Perezposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Pari99. I always try to be honest. I'm glad you understand part of my perspective.

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