Is it ok to be in relationship with someone you don't love just because they are amazing person?
Do you think it is right when people choose to be in a relationship with someone they don't love anymore just because their partner is a wonderful human being & they don't want to hurt them?
I believe there are times in everyone's life where they are dating for fun and not looking for "the one". Essentially things are comfortable and they're "going with the flow". However things can get dicey if their mate professes love and wants to pursue marriage as an option.
Truth be told when it come to relationships most of us fail our way to success. If it weren't so we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts! LOL!
I've actually heard of some people who live by the philosophy of: "Don't marry someone (you) love. Marry someone who loves you!"
Singer Jimmy Soul had a monster hit in the 60s with the lyrics:
"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life (never) make a beautiful woman your wife."
Apparently the belief is unattractive women will work harder to (please you) because they know they're "fortunate" to have you.
Naturally the person with the least amount of emotional investment in a relationship controls it. I think it's a very cynical way to view relationships.
In other instances there are women who have been known to go out on dates with men they are NOT attracted to because he's "nice" or meets all of their other must have requirements to be considered a "great catch".
Not long ago author Lori Gottlieb had a bestselling book titled:
"Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough"
In her book she's advocating women let go of the dream of finding the dashing charming handsome super successful man who is a "rock star" in bed and showers his woman with gifts and trips while professing his undying love. After all such men have an army of women pursuing them.
"Mr. Good Enough" could be a shoe salesman, FedEx driver, insurance salesman, a salesman in the appliance department of Sears, or a financial advisor.
He may not make her heart beat faster but he has a steady job, decent income, is loving, loyal, supportive, dependable, and safe.
After years of heartbreak chasing after the "bad boy" or the men who are in demand it's a practical decision to settle down with "Mr. Good Enough".
I don't think I could spend the rest of my life with someone where I felt no romantic interest or passion for them. I also would hate to discover that I was "Mr. Good Enough" and not the man my wife is "in love" with.
Thanx for your answer @dashingscorpio,I agree with you.It is an individual's choice to be with or not to be with someone,but if you choose to stick with someone you don't love is sad.Like you,even I would hate to discover that my man doesn't love me.
Well that's it. You don't love the other person. But that'll eventually grow into loving them. That's up to you though. You can't say you "don't love them anymore." You never did. You can care about them like you do, but love is your goal. But if you chose to be in a relationship you were supposed to understand that. you're trying to achieve love. If you want to just care for them, there's no point in leading the other person on if you aren't willing to grow with them. If you have to question it, then it probably isn't right since you were unsure going into this relationship (for whatever reason). Prioritize your feelings and thoughts first of all, then judge whether you're fit to go into a committed relationship.
That's my honest opinion. Hope you didn't take what I said too harshly.
Thanx for taking your time to answer @Phil Perez. I think that was an honest answer. I agree with the point where you said "If you want to just care for them, there's no point in leading the other person on if you aren't willing to grow with them."
Thank you, Pari99. I always try to be honest. I'm glad you understand part of my perspective.
by ShanteD 2 years ago
Can you really have a relationship with someone you don't trust.You can love them and want your relationship to work but if you don't trust them can it? Do you give it time and hope for the best?
by Kenneth Avery 8 years ago
If you do all that you can for your wife or husband and it isn't good enough, then what do you do?In the same vein as the Japanese grandmother, allow me to ask, "if you do all that you can to please your wife or husband, and that isn't good enough, then what?"
by These eyes 21 months ago
Why do men hurt the person they love? If they love a woman why they do crazy things?I have a good relationship with this man and he just admit that he was having an affair that he wants to continue seing that person. I never see this coming since everything was so great with us. We never have a big...
by robertsae1987 6 years ago
Is it ok for my wife to have love in a bubble and care for her ex that granted she had a child withmy wife said one day talking with her friends that she had love for her ex boyfriend and I told her what was that as I walked up barley caching there conversation. then it went to still having love...
by TinaTango 8 years ago
Would you consider it "cheating"? if you are in a relationship with somebody, but you are in love with some one else?
by blaqcheri 9 years ago
Hell, at 39 years of age I still couldn't tell you what love even looks like. I have been in quite a few relationships and the only good thing from any of them is I am still alive and my child. I was raised in a family that was always to busy to show affection yet that is all I sought. In my family...
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