Can a woman truly be friends with an ex boyfriend?

1. 81

   Stacie Lposted 10 years ago

   Can a woman truly be friends with an ex boyfriend?
   
   After a good amount of time from a a mutual breakup, can a man and woman truly be just friends?

   replyreport
2. 69

   Ms.Wakeelahposted 10 years ago

   In some cases, yes. I'm currently on friendly terms with two of my exes. It took some time to get to that point, but we can talk to each other without it being complicated. My most recent ex I wouldn't want to be friends with because we didn't have a good break up, he has way too many issues.

   replyreport
   1. 81

      Stacie Lposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It's a complicated situation at best. ;-)

      replyreport
3. 74

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Generally speaking the best friendships between exes occurs after there has been a large gap of time since they broke up. They've both moved on to being involved or married to other people and bump into one another.
   They exchange email addresses and drop each other a line from time to time. Even with that in most scenarios their contact is often done without their current mate's knowledge. One of the main problems with the exes can be friends arrangement is oftentimes their current mates/spouses don't approve of it. The only exception is if they had children together. Even then they want them having limited contact.
   In fact this is one of the reasons why many best friendships between "platonic male and female friends" tend to drift apart.
   Someone falls in love with a person who objects to their friendship. Most people will choose love over a "platonic friendship" with the opposite sex.
   Having said that it is probably unrealistic to expect to go from "red hot lovers" to a brother/sister friendship. Rarely is their instance where both people want to end a relationship at the same time.
   The person who initiated the breakup offers friendship as a "consolation prize" as not to feel like the "bad guy" and the hurt person accepts it with the hope that one day they might reconcile.
   It's not a "real platonic friendship".

   replyreport
   1. 81

      Stacie Lposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It certainly isn't easy for some to remain strictly friends.

      replyreport
4. 83

   prettynutjob30posted 10 years ago

   They can be friends as long as the attraction they had for one another is gone.

   replyreport
   1. 81

      Stacie Lposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That's an answer I agree with. A mutual breakup can create a friendship after some time ahs passed. ;-)

      replyreport
5. 59

   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   It depends on the personalities of both you and him....the reason(s) for the break-up.....and how much time has passed since it's been over.
   One of my exes is also a very good friend.  It wasn't that way immediately after the break up.  I was the one who walked away, but it was due to numerous screw-ups (lies, games, etc.) on HIS part.....so I was disgusted and angry for a while.
   
   Then after some time, when I came to the realization that the break-up was a blessing in disguise, we were able to have conversations and I let bygones be bygones.  It was his loss anyway.
   
   I've maintained a decent relationship with my ex-husband although he runs hot and cold.  (some things never change)  One minute he'll be happy & pleasant.....the next he's a nasty p-r-i-c-%......that's when I just walk away.
   
   I don't think it's possible for exes to ever be really close friends.....because if you could do that, you'd not have broken up to begin with...doesn't that just make sense?

   replyreport
6. 68

   brakel2posted 10 years ago

   It depends on the persons involved. I am a long distance friend with a high school boyfriend. We include our spouses in our friendship and discuss everything openly. It is a friendship where we talk about the past and about current happenings. I know many women who had bad breakups and will have nothing to do with these exes, even if the ex desires a friendship. One friend had a boyfriend, a divorce and remarriage to her ex husband. Sometimes reuniting, or keeping a friendship with someone from the past can cause problems in a marriage or in current relationships. We all make choices and hope they are good decisions.

   replyreport