'The Love of Your Life': How were you certain it was them?

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  1. mastergreen profile image75
    mastergreenposted 3 years ago

    'The Love of Your Life': How were you certain it was them?

    Hi,
    How did you know that this person was 'The Love of Your Life'? How did you know for certain? What made you believe that this was that person you were looking for? How do you know these things? Any clues?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    It's fairly easy for anyone to believe someone is "the love of their life".
    Essentially all they are doing is {comparing} their current relationship to all of their past relationships!
    No one has a crystal ball of the future which illustrates if their current relationship or marriage ended they'd find no one among the remaining (7 Billion people) on this planet that could surpass what they have now! It's a romantic notion to believe there's "only one".
    Feeling happiness and bliss in the moment is all that's required to believe "It doesn't get any better than this!". It's not uncommon for many of us to have our first love during our teenage or college years.
    Falling "in love" the first time is the most magical time because you're not holding anything back since you've never had your heart broken.
    With each failed relationship we become more guarded, less trusting, and adopt a more analytical approach to dating/relationships. Gradually over time we start trusting more and opening up more until we feel comfortable to allow ourselves to be vulnerable again. Naturally we feel much more wiser than in the days where jumped off the cliff into love with reckless abandonment. Now we see ourselves as having a "mature love". We may even look back on that "first love" and say it really wasn't "love". Our thoughts on love evolve.
    The love of your life means:
    "This is the best relationship I've ever had!"
    It doesn't mean I'd never find a "better one" if this one should end.

    1. mastergreen profile image75
      mastergreenposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer.

    2. connorj profile image78
      connorjposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Your analysis seems to indicate a significant flaw, a taker mentality rather than a giver...

    3. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      John, Nothing I said had anything to do with taking or giving.
      I was talking about people evolving from immaturity to maturity regarding love and expectations using 20/20 hindsight. At 16 one may think they know it all but at 35 realize not so.

    4. connorj profile image78
      connorjposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I apologize, I must have misunderstood your "analytical approach"...

  3. connorj profile image78
    connorjposted 3 years ago

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/12479796_f260.jpg

    We met by what we thought was mere coincidence; although in hindsight I now think otherwise. Although we were brought up in different countries, different religions, somewhat different cultures, with different hobbies we would sacrifice our peculiarities to do things together. We both gave to each other rather than expecting to derive something from the other. Thus, I think the desire/need to be unselfish by both of us allowed us to see that we were indeed "in love." This ultimate desire for complete unselfishness in both I believe is the cause of "being in love." Perhaps that is why when two are in love they eventually become one. It may be wise not to be anxious about having so much in common before you date...

    1. mastergreen profile image75
      mastergreenposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for giving an answer.

    2. connorj profile image78
      connorjposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      You are most welcome; MGreen...

  4. ian 12am profile image85
    ian 12amposted 3 years ago

    It just felt and still feels right. From the way we handle each other's needs, to the way we plan for the future. There are no sureties or guaranties, but the important thing is for both of you to be comfortable enough to express your selves freely and for each one of you to feel important in the relationship

    1. mastergreen profile image75
      mastergreenposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for that.

  5. Holiday Girl profile image81
    Holiday Girlposted 3 years ago

    I actually knew I was supposed to marry my husband before I even liked him. I remember the day I realized that like it was yesterday... I was so upset about it! Here is how I knew: I had been in a previous abusive relationship and when I was freed from that, a friend recommended I get counseling. While seeing my therapist (who had dealt with abused women in the past), I asked her for advice on how to recognize an abuser and what things I should be aware of in a potential new relationship. Not only did she give me advice on how to recognize abuse, she also gave me advice in what to seek out in a good person for a good relationship. I had already met my future husband at this point and we were friends. I knew that he was interested in me, but I wasn't attracted to him or interested in him (because I was more attracted to abusive types... sigh). It was about three months after this conversation with my therapist where I had this revelation. I was thinking about my conversation with her and my future husband came to mind. Though I was at first frustrated by it, eventually, we dated, I fell madly in love with him and we were married. That is how I knew for certain... in my case, I knew with my mind before I knew with my heart.

    1. mastergreen profile image75
      mastergreenposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      That's good to hear, thank you for your response.

 
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