What do you do when you don't agree with your friend's current relationship?

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   sweetaboutmeposted 12 years ago

   What do you do when you don't agree with your friend's current relationship?
   
   If you don't like your friend's current boyfriend/girlfriend, do you say something or not? If so, what would YOU say?

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2. 60

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   It depends. If he is treating her badly, or she is being abused, yes say something.  Tell her she deserves better and to get out before it is too late.
   
   But if it is just a personal feeling where you don't care for him, his voice, his looks or whatever, I would keep it to myself.  Telling your friend may cause hard and hurt feelings that could affect your friendship.

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3. 66

   Rebecca2904posted 12 years ago

   My best friend and I have known each other since we were four years old, so we have a wonderful relationship where we can be honest about even the most personal, intimate things. I have no real objection to her current boyfriend except that I think she can do a lot better, and I told her as much. She thinks my boyfriend's great. She also thinks he looks a bit like a hedgehog, and she told me that too. I think if they're your best friend then you should be able to tell them anything, and you should also trust them to make the right decision.
   If it was a friend I knew less well then I'd not be in the same position to say 'this is definitely the guy for you,' or anything else of that nature. In that case, I think I'd only tell someone to get out if they were being cheated on, being abused, or if they weren't happy in the relationship.

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   vonda g nelsonposted 12 years ago

   I would definitely say something because I would like them to know where I stand with the other individual that they are close to.  What  I would say depends on how I feel about the individual....like for instance, whatever I pick up from interacting with them. Usually I keep what I feel to myself, but if the person gets out of hand I'll sooner than later speak my peace

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   Giddy Geezerposted 12 years ago

   This is easiest question I have ever answered. NO.

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   DreamyJadedChickposted 12 years ago

   I think it depends on why you don't agree with their relationship. If it's for a superficial reason like you don't like how they dress or their hairstyle there's no reason to voice your feelings.  If it's for a more serious reason such as they are dating somebody else's husband or they are being abused you need to try to express your concerns. Will your friend listen? Probably not but, as a friend you should always try to help them out of a bad situation.

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   MickSposted 12 years ago

   Why say anything, it's none of your business.  Friendship doesn't allow any of us the right to stick our noses where they don't belong.

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      vonda g nelsonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well you're an interesting friend, why even claim to be a friend if you will  "conveniently mind your business"........ interesting!

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      MickSposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      So Vonda, being a friend entitles you to shove your noser into said friends business then?

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   sweetaboutmeposted 12 years ago

   OK, here is the situation. One of my very good friends has always wanted to get married. Not necessarily have a family, have the right guy; just have a weddding. Our two other friends are married and starting their families and she gets extremely irritated when she finds out one is pregnant again, and she hasn't even gotten engaged yet.
   Now she has been dating the same guy for going on 3 years now, I like him as a person. Even hang out with him on some occasions with just me and his friends (my gf not in attendance). However, she their relationship sucks and I don't want to see her rushing into a marriage, just to have the wedding of her dreams for it to end in divorce.
   She pays for everything in this relationship! I mean, EVERYTHING. Pays their rent in a new apartment she got, groceries, utilities (he is a videogamer with no job right now, so you can imagine the electric bill), walks HIS dog, pays for dinners and cruises/vacations (to give him the opportunity to propose). I can't imagine this making someone happy. They're always mute around groups and he even fondles and says slightly innappropriate things to her friends when drunk.
   Now tell me again, knowing the details...

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9. 69

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Unless there is something specific that concerns you or you believe he would hurt your friend then you should let her be attracted to whomever she is attracted to.
   Life is a (personal journey).

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   1. 60

      sweetaboutmeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Up until that last statement, I disagreed. You are completely right about life being a "personal journey" and I never thought of it like that until now. Thank you, seriously!

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    fitmomposted 12 years ago

    I might just have a general conversation with my friend about what they want in an ideal mate and what their list of must-haves is. Depending on how their list matches up to their current guy, it may help them to stumble upon the idea themself.

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