Marriage and relationships
It is said that God is a match maker then why do so many relationships fail and end up in divorce.why those marriages are destinied to happen which eventually is going to end up in separation or divorce.
With all the issues we have going on in the world I for one sure hope God is not spending most of his time playing cupid.
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
There is a whole host of reasons why marriages end in divorce.
1. Choosing the wrong mate for oneself. (Human beings make mistakes!) This happens when you pursue relationships without figuring out who (you) are and what you want/need in a mate.
2. Getting married for the wrong reasons (Age goal, pregnancy, an ultimatum was given, all their friends were married...etc)
3. Someone commits a "deal breaker" in the eyes of the other. (Cheats/abusive/neglectful/sexless..etc)
4. Sometimes people evolve to a point where they "grow apart". (Fall out of love). "He/she is not the same person I fell in love with."
If one truly believes that God puts every couple together than one would have to blame God for every divorce, heartache, and abusive relationship that exists in the world. That makes no sense!
One man's opinion!
It is also said that everything happens for a reason. I believe that sometimes we get put through painful experiences (including bad relationships) in order to teach us something, or to help us help others with our own experiences.
I don't know if it is all really in Gods plan. We have free will so we can't hold God responsible for every little decision we make ourselves.
Thanks for your reply Stina, is marriage a little decision? I think it is one of the biggest decision in life we want to marry once and settle down. Relationship between couple is constantly working together sometimes even then it fails. I do not say we need to blame God for that, but I always think why do this happen? When they are not destinied to live together.
Indira, Human beings make mistakes!
Most of us date more people than we kiss, kiss more people than we have sex with, have sex with more people than we'll marry. Finding an ideal mate is not an exact science.
There's a lot of trial and error.
If we believe in God then we must believe He gave us freewill and take personal responsibility for our decisions, especially who we marry and how we handle our relationships.
God can indeed play this role if He wants to and God does; however, we are not "good" listeners and we are probably on a downward spiral in this capacity because of all of the "noise" in our lives. God is not limited in what He can do; however, we limit ourselves significantly because most of us are not in a capacity to listen/hear and thus, respond correctly...
Perhaps our media and customs may have played a critical role in blurring/confusing us in what love truly is...
Hi Indara,
I don't know what any of these others are talking about. Every marriage has serious problems after the first year or two. The main reason is that expectations are too high at the beginning. People get a rush of happiness. Problems arise when the dust settles and two people realize they have to work together, compromise on life decisions and still figure out how to make themselves happy without relying on the other person to make them happy. Agreements have to be reached on how to handle the money, what house to buy, how the house should look, how the children should be raised, etc. These are all causes of conflict even during the good times. When married couples fight, the fight never resolves itself because each side thinks that the other is not listening to what they are trying to say. The other person is so worried about getting their point across that they don't listen and respond by acknowledging what the other person just said.
And if you believe in God, then presumably you believe that there is an eternal afterlife and that what happens in this life doesn't matter. So God probably would have nothing to do with selecting a mate here on this earth.
"God probably would have nothing to do with selecting a mate here on this earth." That is what I essentially said Old-Empresario when I said: "Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. I don't believe God plays cupid.
We are here to take all tests and challenges, that's what life all about, and yes you are right, God is a match maker. They said, ask and you will receive. When we ask, we should be specific, It would be easier for the match maker to find the right person for you. In marriage, I believe that there should be a "give and take"relationship, second, it's important that you're not just lovers but BEST FRIENDS.
i think when people get stressed they give up and love is something that needs to be worked on and passionate for
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