Can You Help Someone Who Needs Your Help But Refuses When It's Offered?

1. 94

   Readmikenowposted 9 years ago

   Can You Help Someone Who Needs Your Help But Refuses When It's Offered?

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2. 70

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   It depends on the individual.
   Do (they believe) they need any help?
   Are they refusing (all help) or just help from you?
   Can you help them indirectly without them knowing it was you?
   Generally speaking there are few reasons why a person would not accept help from a friend. 1. They believe they can manage. 2. Pride
   3. They hate the idea of being indebted because it changes the dynamics of the relationship. Unless there are past instances of helping each other it becomes a situation where one person is the mentor and the other the student. Oftentimes the (price) for accepting help is allowing the other person to have (input) on your decisions.
   In their eyes to be seen as "equals" they need to stand on their own.
   If you can help them indirectly then do so. Otherwise all you can do is let them know you are willing to help them whenever they want.

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3. 59

   KEPitz1005posted 9 years ago

   You can't help someone who won't let you help them. It's frustrating as hell, but there are those times when you need to force yourself to walk away and let them figure it out on their own.
   My daughter in law is one who refuses to believe anyone could possibly be wiser or have more experience in ANYthing than she does. (Damn kids think they know it all. Am I right?)
   The funny thing is that a week later, she will have done exactly what was suggested in the beginning - but make it seem it was her idea all along. Eh, what the hell? She got whatever the problem was solved in the end, so it's a win, I suppose.
   So, in conclusion, no. I don't believe you are able to help someone who needs help, but refuses it for whatever reason. As long as the issue isn't harmful or life threatening, just let them figure it out on their own. It builds character & teaches them. If, however, physical or emotional harm is part of the equation, I'd step in regardless of their refusal of help, and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of all parties involved.

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4. 82

   peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

   Ignore him. What's the point to help him when he refused to accept even though I know he needed help.

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5. 0

   RTalloniposted 9 years ago

   Not usually.  You do not give any details, so the circumstances could be salvageable, but it sounds like you are dealing with someone who is unteachable, meaning they have a long standing habit of resistance to anything except what they want at any given moment.  The closeness of the relationship will play a big part in determining how much responsibility you want to take for continuing to try to help.

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6. 75

   tajooposted 9 years ago

   In my opinion, you still can help that person, but without him knowing that it is actually YOU helping him. It also depends on the reason of refusing, but  if it is possible, then you can just help from back, and since you're helping and not harming, I do not feel it is wrong.

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7. 75

   m abdullah javedposted 9 years ago

   Yes I do. This is how I would like to go about the query pose by you Readmikenow. There may be many a possibility of turning down the help after being asked. The person from whom the help is sought might have delayed or may be he is helping in a way that might not be befitting his needs or may be by the time he is being helped he might have fulfilled his needs from elsewhere. One thing is for sure that the person has asked for help as he was in need, one should lend helping hand immediately with required secrecy as it shouldn’t hurt the self-respect of the person.

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   1. 94

      Readmikenowposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree.  You made a good point.

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8. 81

   Alphadogg16posted 9 years ago

   You can only help someone that truly wants to be helped, if they are in denial and refuse the help when offered, it will make is difficult to assist them.

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