How do you judge that the people you know trust you?
We live with our family, relatives, friends and colleagues... The healthy relationship with all rest upon mutual trust. How to judge that these people put their trust on us, what are it's parameters?
Hi muhammad abdullah javed,
Being a student of psychology (and having a high intuition) I study people all the time. As I wrote in my Hub The Quantum Heart, people often follow one of two secret motives.
One group may be active in religion, appear to be spiritual, exhibit "good" or "bad" behavior, and be introverted or extroverted. Yet in actuality, they most value life, and worldly goods and pleasures. Their motives are rooted in experiencing all that “reality”, the human flesh, and Earth has to offer. These individuals do not spend significant amounts of time pondering the universe, our origins, the welfare of others, what happens after death, or the past, present, or future of humanity.
Another group lives and functions in society largely to survive. They work, may buy extravagant things, exhibit "good" or "bad" behavior, and be introverted or extroverted. Yet in actuality, they do not value life most, or worldly goods and pleasures. Their motives are rooted in experiencing the soul/spirit, self-actualization, and altruism. These individuals do spend significant amounts of time pondering the universe, our origins, the welfare of others, what happens after death, and the past present, and future of humanity.
If you study people, I have found that they fit into one of these two groups. I think you can guess which group I trust (weather they are related or not).
Keri
It's a nice comparison Keri, you have effectively elaborated the concept of trust and the way of coping with it. Thanks for the response.
'Actions speak louder than words'. Observe how people behave with you, if they trust you, you'll get to know by their actions, the way they share their secrets in front of you or if they ask for your advice. Trust is something built upon time, I cannot trust someone I met just yesterday or last week, so you are going to feel the sense of trust by the passage of time, you'll feel the change once they start trusting you. Just pay attention!
Exactly. Thanks for a profound reply.
A very fascinating question. There is a great deal that one can study and investigate in the area of trust. I am afraid that most trust is not earned. Just as often as not it is a matter of convenience. We end up trusting someone because we need them. Out of necessity we must rely on someone. Somehow we convince ourselves that the person can be trusted because we are going to rely on them anyway. Sometimes we just must unload our burdens of matters of the heart or our workload or commitments. Our responsibilities get so much that we need a hand.
If you are in with close friends and family. You will know when you are trusted by two things. First you will be the first option when there is a need. And secondly you will find yourself overwhelmed with carrying other peoples burdens. It is a truth; a child desires to be trusted and a father wishes others had more self reliance.
I should never have shown off my handyman skills. Now my wife trusts me to do all manner of jobs around the house. And so now I have to do all manner of jobs around the house.
Very true Eric Dierker, your response simply reflect the essence of trust. Narration is quite pragmatic. Thanks for a profound reply.
Excellent reply, Eric. I agree with you 100%.You have put it so clearly. Thank you for this wonderful message.
Thank you much gentlemen. It is nice that we can share our thoughts on such matters that are worthy of our reflection.
Exactly Eric you are true, this HubPages provides us with opportunities to share our views and built a platform to strive for the betterment.
By their actions you can see whether they are hypocrites or like a dog
This is kind of simple to me as i live with my family and families are the best friends ever you can trust and of course they'll trust you.. You know what i mean by family... I'm talking about my parents, brother and sister other than them there's no family to trust and secondly I’ve my best friends and they share everything with me that is for sure that they completely trust me as i know there all of the secrets and as well they know mine...
Javed, it is a very difficult thing to answer this. But mostly, you can judge them when you are interacting with them. From their face readings and behaviour. A honest, noble person will always be open minded in his actions. He does not try to hide his feelings or escape from realities. You can watch his eyes and face when talking with them or during their behaviour with you or others. Further, you will experience some intuition which tells you he is honest. You will find out within some time this attachment and honesty.
Very true Venkat Sir, your response reflect your experience, you have given us a pragmatic explanation. Thank you.
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