I need your beautiful thoughts please

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   Misbah786posted 3 years ago

   I have created this forum for a research work — a type of survey . I need your help please
   
   Do you ever find it is difficult to trust others? Or are you naturally a trusting person? —  “ I am”,  I don’t know whether it’s good or bad
   
   So often, people rush to be suspicious of other people’s motives…
   Or we tend to believe that trusting others is not wise and the one who trust everyone is naive…
   
   Do you think, while believing this, it can be a type of defense mechanism or good in particular circumstances?  have you ever considered that not trusting in others could also have a negative impact on your happiness and on other aspects of your life?
   
   Can you suggest 5 good reasons to trust others. Or do you believe that it’s not good to trust, or building trust takes time, or is the person who trust everyone is a real naive? Or Do you believe in action more than words?
   
   Thanks

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      dashingscorpioposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      It's not that I find it difficult to trust others, I choose to allow them to (earn) my trust over time.
      
      We live in a world filled with conmen, liars, users, and manipulators. Anyone who has been around long enough to gain life experience is  keenly aware that "looking out for #1" is {your responsibility}.
      
      Some people want to be on autopilot.
      They have no desire to contemplate or evaluate before saying "yes".
      Don't be a passenger in your own life. Take the wheel!
      
      Trust much like respect should be (earned) over time.
      Everyone should have a mate selection screening process and "must haves list" when it comes choosing people to join their "inner circle".
      
      "Many are called but few are chosen." should be everyone's mantra.
      
      

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         Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Hi dashingscorpio, I enjoyed reading your response to my question and liked it very much.
         I agree to "looking out for #1" is {your responsibility} this is true but in finding that number 1 we often get hurt. we are degraded, are punished by others or by our own selves just because of trusting someone.
         
         There are people who say "I trust you" at the very first meeting or the second time when they meet you, Is it just a statement or is it the way to honor someone? or do they really mean that? if they really start to trust someone at the very first or second meeting, are they naive?
         
         I like the quote you mentioned
         Blessings

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   2. 82

      peterstreepposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I depends on the context.
      Do you trust the bank with your money?
      Do you trust Jim with lending your car to him?
      Do you trust Tracey with an emotional confession?
      Do you trust the person who wants to sell a house to you?
      
      In general I trust my gutfeeling, it never let me down.
      When I've never seen somebody, I often can tell if I can trust him/her or not. This depends on body language, usage of language, face expressions and a lot more. Things I generally am aware off when meeting someone for the first time.
      
      So I make discisions based on these "assumptions". Bit by bit you start to know people and finetune your first idee. Sometimes, but seldom I have to change my first impression.
      
      Trust is a flued thing, not fixed. And you trust people with different concepts.
      I would trust my uncle that he can fix the car but I won't trust him with making my dinner!

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         Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Simple, but an interesting answer, peterstreep
         Blessings

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2. 85

   Jodahposted 3 years ago

   Misbah, I may be like you. I tend to trust people until they give me reason not to. That said, I exclude politicians, obvious scammers, and many sales people from that category. However, people in general I trust. Sure, I have been hurt and taken advantage of occasionally but I think it makes you a happier less stressed person if you try to see the good first.

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      Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed, John. I too trust people until they give me a reason not to. Just like you. I too have been hurt a lot of times and to be very honest, yes, people have taken advantage too. But in the end I feel satisfied that I tried hard from my side.
      Thanks a lot for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me. Highly appreciated
      Blessings always

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3. 77

   Castlepalomaposted 3 years ago

   Interesting topic.
   Earlier years you could say I was an Opti-aholic (over optimistic) rose colour glasses, honest to fault. This kind bliss was highest energy I had ever experienced in my lifetime for 3 decades. Actually experience people were more honest in those years than today. Yet still most people are basically good
   
   The greater dishonesty came from the top down, the worst is this end game of covid world order normal. Also the experience of my circle of love one.
   
   My faith is that times of greatest abuse, forces the pendulum to swing extremely the other way.
   
   My business and personal life is interwoven with other honest strong individual circle. Found only 2% of outer persona people were out to rob me. I give a little extra to every one, just not too much or they turn disrespectful back.
   
   Without trust, one cannot love. Work is love made visible.

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      Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Castlepaloma, I believe to be an optimistic is a good characteristic of any person. Being over optimistic can hurt in various ways. Not only this but trying to trust the person again who just broke it once, I think is the real mistake. Which I have made once in my life and never want to repeat it again.
      Yes, I do agree Covid time has changed a lot of things. Trust is the most important element in any relationship : love, friendship or any other.
      Blessings

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4. 69

   Moondot1822posted 3 years ago

   Salem,
   Misbah, I have a habit of trusting others quickly. But my trust quickly eroded, which is a bad habit, I think so. When I feel that the next person is not sincere with me and is playing with my feelings and emotions, so I hate them.
   And this hatred is such that I can't put it into words.
   I had a childhood friend who said something that made me feel very bad. Then I didn't talk to her for years. But since marriage, I have changed a lot. Now I have come to tolerate what people say. And you will be well acquainted with the culture, customs and traditions of Pakistan. Life is a little difficult in our country after marriage.

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      Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Wasalam Moon, thanks for joining me here. I too can trust anyone very quickly but saying I can hate them after they break my trust. No, I don’t remember at any stage of my life when I hated anyone.
      I don’t hate them but I just simply take my step back from them now. Obviously, I do try to know the reason from them. If they tell me it’s okay, if they don’t wish to tell it’s okay even then.
      I think there is no valid reason to break someone’s trust. Trusting someone in my view is to honor someone.
      It’s not about Pakistan or any other country. It’s about human nature and people are people and they are everywhere.
      Blessings

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         Moondot1822posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         That's why I have said that hating in this context was my bad habit. Now, I become mature and you are right that people are people and thay are everywhere. But we can't deny the fact that we live in a man-made society and every society has its own norms and values.
         Do you think that our society gives us right to trust someone? No, we are bounded to trust even if we don't want.
         And I am sorry to say that there is a diversity in nature of people belonging to different countries. Let me give you an example, Misbah. There was a person on Hub pages who used to change names and profiles even after blocking by HB. And it was said that he must be a Pakistani or Indian. Why?
         Well, these are just my thoughts and you may disagree with. Stay blessed...

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         1. 75

            Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            It’s an individual’s responsibility to represent his country well
            I live in Europe and nobody ever hated me for being a Pakistani
            It’s up to you how you represent your country
            Maybe people who suspected that he is a Pakistani or an Indian
            May have experienced something bad from Pakistani or Indians before
            
            
            Moreover, yes I do believe there’s a misconception regarding the veil but believe me I have met some European people who would love their wives to be veiled in front of other people. Some of the false perceptions are due to some bad experiences and are coming from generations to generations. I think politicians plays a big role in spreading this hatred
            
            Do you know one in every 60 women wears a veil or hijab in Wales, UK
            The vast majority of Muslims in the United Kingdom live in England: 2,660,116 (5.02% of the population). 76,737 Muslims live in Scotland (1.45%), 45,950 in Wales (1.50%). London has the greatest population of Muslims in the country.
            
            Like mostly in Europe, people don’t like to rent out or sell their homes or flats to Asians specially Pakistanis and Indians just because some of them had bad experiences so the wheel continue to roll the same way, but there are people who welcome the Asian people as well, because their experience with them was good.
            
            In the end, I would say, You can change thoughts of other people with your kindness and well behavior. One must have a valid reason to change his thoughts regarding you or your country or the faith you belong to.

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   ravirajan01posted 3 years ago

   My take misbah is that trust is like a bank account. One needs to keep it flush to enjoy it. And the funny thing is that both parties need to fill in this bank account to reap the benefits. There is nothing called one-sided trust. I may be hard here but trust once lost cannot be gained back, however hard one tries.

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   1. 75

      Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Ravi, I agree with you that trust can only be kept when it’s an investment from both sides. I can trust a person but now it’s their duty to make that bond stronger. I tried once to trust a person back after getting hurt but now I feel that it was my biggest mistake ever. Some people come in your life as a lesson others as blessings. We should be thankful to the ones who come as lessons. They help to make us more better person than before. A diamond can never be a diamond, it would be known as a coal if it’s not went hard under enough pressure
      Thanks for your kind thoughts, I appreciate
      Blessings

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6. 50

   Tanmoy Acharya 100posted 3 years ago

   It is difficult to trust anyone 100% on the Internet.

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      Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Tanmoy, It’s not difficult to trust anyone. It’s just difficult to keep it evergreen if it’s been broken once. It was a general question not about Internet. Thanks for your thoughts
      Blessings

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         Tanmoy Acharya 100posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Goethe's Faust
         
         https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goethe%27s_Faust

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7. 69

   Moondot1822posted 3 years ago

   Believe me, I felt very bad when I heard this. Why Pakistanis and Indians can do such a thing?

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      Tanmoy Acharya 100posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      The Journey to Hunza (20+ Hour Bus)

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