How does someone know if that person is the right one? Should one rush into marriage.
One should never rush for marriage it is better to stay single.. If you get married means you will tie a knot with a shoppohlic and emotional torture bucket full of your credit cards bills..
I know what you mean exactly; I have been hurt before. There are lots of materialistic women out there.
I'm not but i dont want to be taken for granted either
Only get married once you know everything is right. I would recommend being with some one for 2-3 years atleast before getting married. This will give you the chance to see if they really are going to be good to you or just waste your time. Marriage is a very serious commitment, a bond that ties two people together, becoming one. Nake sure that this person will respect you and love you for you. Marrying someone will actually change that person you once new, if they are right they won't change in a bad way. Take things slow, if they rush it on you, be wary.
No, marriage should never be rushed into. As a matter of fact, if you have to even ask that question, then don't get married. I believe that if you really want someone, eventually you will find someone. If I did, then anyone can. I was in my late 30s and had no one, still living with my mom. Then I turned 40, 41,42, no one. Two years later, at 44, I found someone. We are not married and maybe we never will be. I want to, she doesn't but says she will stay with me forever. She's been married twice. But hurrying into a marriage, as I'm sure you have seen many times can be a disaster. I believe the divorce rate is so high because too many people rush into marriage. And find out later, sometimes much later it was the wrong person.
when will one know its the right person.
Why not? It only took me six divorces and seven major relationships to find one that would stick!
Of course, Pam (#7) and I had a really solid reason for getting married after 9.5 years of not. A nasty caseworker cut her disability payment for no good reason, insulted her, and generally more than implied Pam was some sort of welfare fraud. So we got hitched in order to tell the Feds to take their money and go piss up a rope.
Pretty solid basis for a till-death-do-us-part marriage, doncha think?
well no one can read the future but,checking out and getting to know his family will give you insight. after that. . . it's a gamble. good luck!
One should never rush into marriage but this doesn't mean one should never get married. Being single has its advantages but being married definitely helps spiritual growth. A lot of understanding, compromises and sacrifice are part of loving somebody. Some people just feel it when it's the right thing but most people are never sure about it. But, hey, no risk no profit - it's always been like that in all segments of life!
I take it this question is somewhat facetious on purpose. Why would anyone rush into any big decision if they really don't have to
No. Marriage isn't always the answer for everything. If you feel that you have found that someone you really want to share your life with, then enjoy each other's company. The best things in life can be felt if you only know how to appreciate it. Do not rush things because the worst will surely come any time soon. Be careful.
Have to agree with Misha there...if you have to ask yourself whether it's right or not, then you'd better not get married yet!
You can know someone for two months and know they are the one, or you can know them for two years, and "think" they are the one...if it's right, you know it, no doubts whatsoever!
Thats true sometimes we just need reassurance. Happy New Years!
Misha Hi! Happy New Years!!! LOL thanks for the answer
I definately agree with Misha! But a good place to start is by quietly and alone think about each line in the modern traditional marriage vows (replace the word "obey" in the older version). Are you willing to live up to and beyond each and every one of those lines? Do you find that he is already living those vows?
Time is a great thing. Take some, a long dating period is best. You never truly know someone until you have spent some years with them. To many people rush into marriage and then divorce 2 or 3 years later. Being able to get a divorce easily should not be the reason to rush into marriage. If it's meant to be you will still be together years down the road of dating.
Thank you so much now i know what to tell my friend
marriage should only be attempted by people who intend to be in it for life. If you not sure then don't do it.
My friend isreally going to enjoy this reponses.
Getting married is a test of faith. Knowing whether or not you will be able to remain faithful and restrain from any sexual urges that you may be having about other people, or if your life partner may be having the same problems. A man and woman should never marry unless it is certain that they have gotten rid of all of their immature desires to cheat on their partner. That's why marriage shouldn't be rushed into, because rushing into marriage doesn't allow you to go through this long but necessary process. I personally have never married, being that I have my whole life ahead of me as I am just getting into adulthood, but I feel I have a good understanding on this particular subject.
if you follow advises from above, you'll NEVER GET MARRIED!!!
It's the only thing that you cannot calculate by reason. May be should, but can't. IMP-P-POSSIBLE! Our emotions distort our gut feeling and we all get married for rather wrong reasons. Only some very lucky ones get it right. That's why we have way too many divorces and unhappy marriages.
Lol! Thanks i enjoyed your answer the most!
Thanks for your input.
You really have to take stock of, and know YOURSELF first.
What is important to YOU? What are the things YOU want in life? Then, can that other person help you get them or (if applicable) do they want the same things?
Some of the big deal-breaker decisions:
Where to live (city, state, country...)
What you DO for a living (I doubt a teacher would get along super well with a mechanic for example)
Religious values (this one is especially important in the 'kids' section...like if you decide you EVENTUALLY want kids but just not now, then what methods you take to NOT have kids)
at the same time, you NEED to be different from each other, NEED to have a few things you can do and enjoy SEPARATE from each other, or you'll drive each other crazy...
honestly, think about what it's like to have a roomate in a college dorm, and ask yourself if you could do that with a person...cuz sometimes, that's what it's like
ESPECIALLY when you introduce kids/pets...I don't speak from experience on kids, but when we got a puppy, the first 3 weeks were no-sleep, no-fun, no-sex...cuz we were wiped out dealing with a little ball of energy that just nips, and barks, and whines, and pees, and poops, and eats, and etc etc etc...
that's all stuff that people don't really THINK about
but the most important one...are you willing to SACRIFICE your vision of your life JUST to be with that person? because there WILL come a time when you look at them and think "if i didn't get married, I could be doing [_____] right now..." and you HAVE to be not just OKAY with that...but HAPPY about it
Yes! The answer is yes! I think you should rush into everything. Some things are best enjoyed in the heat of the moment.
Get married when you are still in the heat of passion and don't wait till the flames have died down and everything has become routine or boring.
As far as the right one, well for some people there is only one right one, but for others there are many right ones depending on where they are in their lives and what their needs are. The right one is the one who is meeting and fulfilling your needs... at the time.
I know there are plenty of people who will not agree with this and I didn't always feel this way, but I've come to realize that everything changes all the time, why should relationships be any different.
By rushing into marriage just creates problems down the road.
How many people reveal everything that is happening in their lives,when maybe all they want is to get some fast track sex from you.
Background check one before you indulge or you may be getting involved in more problems than you intended too.
Gambling,Pornography,Molestor,woman beater,convicted felon,In debt to deep to get out,etc...
You may not think so,but I have seen it happen many times to many people..
You should try living together for a year before you get married. See if you can actually live in the same house and get along most days. Basically, pretend to be married without actually taking the plunge. Yes, things are fun in the heat of the moment, but it is better to know what you're getting yourself into.
Usually I'm allergic to the *M* word but if he can stir my Soul and see who, what,where, etc, of Dame, then maybe my affliction will disappear. for now, I will remain single and be content with saying hello
Hey Dame, good am
Dont know for me, find a bf first, then lets see...
I can dig that, I feel the same way!
hmm...how about those who DID rush into marriage and are now dying to rush out!!!
Marriage takes work, marriage is not just knowing someone is right for you or not. Speaking from experience it takes so much more than just loving each other. I love my ex wife to this day and I wish things had been different but somewhere along the way the work it took for us to be happy became too much. You may know this person is the one for you but who knows if ten years from now they will be the same person and who knows if both of you will still be willing to put in the effort. My advice is to follow your heart and to always remember to do the little things and be willing to work hard at being happy. Approach it like it is a job you really love and want to succeed at.
I am so sorry to hear yours did not work out you sound like you are a great guy.
Come a job no way. Stay single
Thank you :0) I try to be a great person and above all a great father. With that said we all have our ups and downs and I guess that was just one of the downs. I don't claim to be an expert on marriage cuz if I was I wouldn't be divorced...lol but I can speak on my experiece and tell everyone honestly that it takes effort from both parties every day to keep the love going strong
Relationship takes time. If you can't spend much time with partner and partner is not understanding one for you then relationship will find it's way out. So i think never rush into relationship. Also not to misunderstood each other on almost every point that is passed. Better spend time knowing each other.
nice, seems like a good idea.
if you are unsure of marriage, than you should not get married. Even when you are head over heels in love, marriage takes work, especially when you add regular everyday situations like kids, work, home, bills etc. On the other hand, if you are ready to take it on, and be by eachothers side no matter what, it is very worth it. work together to put the effort in and get a lot in return. Make sure you are best friends and good companions.
Both situations have its pros and cons. You should never rush into marriage as it is a lifelong commitment. It is essential that you choose well and ensure that you made the right choice. I have written articles on both 1e Being Single and Married.
Ten Reasons for Getting Married
Being Single and Happy
http://socyberty.com/relationships/bein … t-possible
Thanks I'm going take a look at what you wrote.
I sounds harder than what it seems.
They should live together at least three and a half years before they get married, I would not consider marriage unless I pre-trialed it.
will never marry again. ever. love the freedom of knowing i can walk if so desired. easy.
Marriage is good until it's not mine...
Relationship and some kind of committment is ok, but marriage... too dangerous for my freedom
Getting married wouldn't curb your freedom. You would still be the same person. You would just be one half of a set. Yes you wouldn't be able to go out and pick up a guy/girl, but you have the security knowing that someone loves you for who you are and will be at home waiting for you.
Marriage gives me hives and 'i get all itchy. Don't know why though. hummmmm...
I don't know either. They do make a cream for that though....
People have given great advice from both sides...marriage is a big decision. Huge. It makes my brain hurt.
Even if I found someone that I could see being with for along time...even my life, I'd be scared to marry.
I'd like to think I wouldn't need to make some contract or have some ceremony to confirm our love or to live together personally.
Besides I just turned 23...forget marriage for a long time. I'm single while I watch all my friend's 1-2 year marriages crumble.
Doesn't make me any more excited for a proposal, hehe.
However, for some marriage works...I really admire those elderly couples still married, walking in the park with their canes. So sweet. But, other than that...nah.
My grandmother and her live-in boyfriend were together 30 years, before she got dementia. He passed on 1 year after she left. She passed on less than 11 months later.
I considered him my uncle, as family. His family disowned him. When he died, they only wanted pictures he had. They didn't even care about the funeral.
That is so bittersweet. But, also a good story.
Both the dementia and disowning by his family...at least they had each other and passed within less than a year. No coincidence there.
Thanks for sharing...I'd take that over any crappy and rushed marriage (not saying all are...just the crappy ones ).
What a wonderful relationship and to have ended in such a sad and narrow minded way! May your family enjoy many more blessings and much future happiness built on their memory!
Never rush! You have the rest of your life! take time to enjoy the romance!
I don't think any one is ever ready to get married. I was with
my fian'ce for ten years. We had two beautiful children and I didn't feel like a piece of paper would justify our love for each other. We did get married but I already felt married 9years ago. Make sure you are ready to get married. I would think this way if you can imagine that something horrible happened to him and you would have to spend every day washing him, feeding him, and sacrificing all of you to him and not getting anything back. If that doesn't scare you then you are ready and willing. I married till death do us part so remember that , that's the real key to marriage ..... Forever
thanks for the answer.
Well sometimes in life thing happen unexpectedly and we just have to deal with them even if its clean a loved one or caring for them doesnt matter which as long as the loves there.
I just want the love not the responsibility
To decide whether s/he is the right one or not, one may not use his logic only. There's a part for heart, intuition, or "instinct" that should not be forgotten. To marry someone is not the same with to buy new laptops. The latter you may use your logic for the most part as to see its specification, etc. But to marry, it's more to our heart's work. We, Moslems, have several techniques to do that spiritually. We believe that God has created our true partner. Our job is to find him/her. And here you can't use a set of ideal husband/wife checklist to every man/woman you meet. You need to use your heart and believe to God that He knows who's best for you.
Hope this helps.
if u fall in love, nothing like marriage, but with the changing times, the trends seem to b changing too...ppl are preferring live ins. And i guess they are the right thing to get into considering how frivolous marriages have become these days..
but staying single is not the way out by any chance...as we grow old we all need company to share our joys and sorrows...so sooner or later...get a partner for yourself !
staying single is better I'm married about 6 months and its not what I tough it would be yes I'm happy but not all the time. when ur single u get to do what u want spend time with whoever u want u get to do anything you dont have no one to please or give explanations to. once ur married things change drastically but when u really love that person ur willing to do anything to see them happy even if it means not making urself happy.
Marriage is a wonderful institution for people who like living in institutions
No one can tell you it is right except you.
When you are in it you will know, men and women talk of dreams of what marriage will be like that never dreamed or talked of it before, they each start seeing the other as a mom or a dad, or themselves as a parent.
A marriage is two separate but whole individuals coming together to learn and grow in love.
It is a union that many do not take seriously or that it actually till death to us part, 99% of the population is self-centered and once it grows stale they want the next one in line. At the first sign of trouble they run.
Marriage is not for the faint at heart or the thin skinned.
Marriage is not just for having children.
I'm trying to remain single as long as I can since I still have more good times ahead.
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