If you had known what marriage was going to be like would you have chosen to stay single instead?
I was married for several years; and, have now been single for over 25 years. I have become much too independent to ever consider being in a relationship again. I find them quite confining compared to the freedom of being single.
If I had answered this yesterday I might have been tempted to say yes to your question! However, in spite of those "off" days, being married has been a good thing in my life. It is good to have someone to talk to, to share the good and the bad moments with and someone to snuggle up to when it is cold outside. I love knowing that he is here, even when I am in another room working on a project, just having him here is reassuring.
I am not a "wimpy" girl by any means and have the confidence to stand up to most anyone on anything if I need to, so it isn't just that "someone to take care of me" thing either. I raised a strong minded daughter, a son who is a Marine and a son who is in the local Police Academy. I am very independent and my husband often stands back and watches me "handle things my way"! I love knowing deep down that if I ever needed, or wanted, him to back me up, then he would be there.
Our marriage is far from perfect, but at the end of every day I am thankful to have him at my side.
I think being married has made my life and relationship better. We are committed to each other and will do anything to keep our "team" alive and happy. I think it's all about being with the right person. In my case, I have the right one for me and marriage is awesome!
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I don't think the problem is with "marriage" itself but rather the person someone has chosen to marry. In my opinion the number one cause for divorce is and always has been selecting the wrong mate. There are numerous reasons as to why this happens. However the number one reason is we don't take the time to do some serious introspective thinking about what we truly want and need in a partner for life.
Often times we let "circumstances" such as what our friends are doing, family desires, pregancy, our age, the length of the relationship, expectations or ultimatims, fear of ending up alone....etc dictate our decision to get married. A lot of people rush to get married so that they can scratch it off their "to do" list. Nothing "magical" happens after saying "I do". (We are who we are.) The wedding is just one day.
To have a happy marriage (both) people have to want the same things and agree on the best way to have those things. You have to know who YOU are and what you want before you can determine if someone else will fit well into your life. That takes more time than most people are willing to invest these days. Marriage is a life-style choice. It's not a requirement and it's not for everyone! You really have to know yourself!
Yes, I'd do it all over in a heart beat with the same man. I have a wonderful husband and we get along very well.
Married now 31 years this May and I would never want to be single. I have the best wife in the world and would never ever want my life any different!! I knew my marriage would be great the minute I met my wife.
The first time, yes. My second marriage, no. It is such a blessing after what I went through.
I've got an amazing husband and I'd marry him again tomorrow but I know plenty of people who aren't so lucky. I even know plenty of people who had their doubts before the marriage took place but the big day was too important to them or they just hoped things would sort themselves out afterwards. They should have definitely stayed single.
My marriage was the culmination of poor planning, poor timing, poor execution, and poor mate-selection merging with the best of intentions. I think to say it was a disaster would be spot on.
The only thing that was surprising was that I somehow expected a positive outcome from such a dubious beginning.
I think marriage should be considered the most beautiful of all relationships...if done correctly. And, when I say, "done correctly", I mean doing everything right from the beginning and using great wisdom and discernment in choosing Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Marriage should not be put on trial because so many people approach the alter with inferior mind-sets and do not have what it takes to succeed.
Marriage is a big league event that does not disallow little league players from joining its ranks. Marriage therefore cannot fail, but the participants often do.
So, to answer you question: Yes. If I could do it all over again I would because from that marriage I received the most beautiful children I could imagine. Even though my blushing bride hurt me deeply and caused me a great deal of pain, my children have more than made up for it...praise God!!!
Now, I have chosen to remain single since our divorce many moons ago, because I do not want to go through that kind of pain and turmoil again. It is not that I am opposed to marriage, it's just that I don't trust myself to discern a wolf in sheep's clothing. :0)
There are times I have been tempted to think like that but I believe that many married people go through that at one time or another. It takes a lot of commitment, working together and believing in one another to make a marriage good and for it to work out. Marriage has brought me many blessings and seriously, I would rather be married and live right than be single and live wrong. It is not like there was any other choice for me with regards to relating with the opposite sex. I could either stay single and have nothing to do with men but if I wanted intimacy, friendship and the things that come with having a guy in my life, I had to do it right and marriage was that package, frankly. Now that I am married, I realize that many blessings have come my way through my husband and vice versa. It is wonderful.
Refreshing to hear many of your comments! When I read the question I was expecting to hear a bunch of marriage bashing, but was pleasantly surprised!
I'm getting married in 3 weeks and feel like it it is the right decision for us. Although I do agree there are many people out there that shouldn't be or ever have gotten married to their spouses, I think it is a great thing for those that truly accept the marriage into their life with welcome arms.
Not necessarily remaining single, but I wish that I had been better equipped with more tools and resources for how to make marriage successful and how to make it work.
Simple answer, NO.
Put nothing is simple.
I married for the first time in my fifties. After being married for almost 14 years, I would never want to be single again.
If something were to happen to my wife, heaven forbid, I am not sure I would want to marry again.
This is something that each individual makes a decision on.
No, marriage is hard but I enjoy it a lot. It teaches me a lot about who I am, and it refines my character. I think the pain is deeper but I also experienced heights of joy and happiness that I didn't experience as a single person.
I would. I actually lived with my husband for several years before we married and after all those years when he popped the question I had no doubt in my mind. I still have no doubt. We have our issues (especially after we had the children - that really does not help out a marriage), but I would do it all over again...
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