Do you think that extroverts bother introverts more than introverts bother extroverts?
This question, of course, is ASSUMING one group bothers the other. That may NOT be the case. But, IN YOUR EXPERIENCE as an extrovert, do you get the feeling that you annoy introverts with your exuberance. Introverts never annoy me because, after all, they just take it all in and don't interrupt my probably perceived narcissistic rants. WAIT A MINUTE! I think they DO bother me with their lack of contribution to the conversation and their non-verbal communication that makes me feel like a frivolous person. Whaddya think, no matter which way you roll?
I'm English, so stereotypically I'm assumed to be reserved. It's true to a certain extent. I dislike being in the company of loud people who try to dominate the conversation- especially those extroverts who want to be the centre of attention. I sometimes find that I can't get a word in edgeways when in a group with them and consequently end up interrupting - which is bad manners. Everyone should have an equal chance to participate.
I don't like to call myself an introvert, but I guess you could say that most of the time I'd rather just chill by myself in peace. Sometimes I do feel that I bother my friends who are clearly - and identify as extroverts. It seems as though they think I don't see them as "worthy" of my precious time. I've had some friends get pretty peeved about me rejecting parties and such. But as an "introvert" I hardly get bothered by extroverts. The only time I could ever say that I do is when they dismiss me as someone with some kind of social depravity issue. When you say "non-verbal communication", I would categorize that characteristic as shy. I would consider myself to be social with competent communication skills, but I would call myself an introvert if someone forced me to identify as either an intro or extrovert.
Aiman. Thank you so much. I once had a very wise boss who stopped a meeting right in the middle because out of the 4 of us, Alice never spoke. The boss had us take the Myers Briggs, had an expert come in to explain how to respect each of our needs.
I'm intensely introverted, but extroverts only annoy me when they are loud or overly narcissistic in their need for attention. I can't stand those who are overly boisterous and it was one of the habits my ex-husband had that brought me to the point of near homicide on more than one occasion (yes, that's sarcasm no I'm not a murderer lol) He had a bad habit of blurting anything out at any time - and always LOUD.
I could be concentrating on something and focused - and he'd barge into the room and start yapping at me with his loud voice. UGH. He didn't seem to understand the concept that I didn't respond well to loud voices. His excuse was "my whole family is loud"... Well, then train yourself to be not loud. It is possible to break that bad habit. I have another dear friend who is like this too and it can be a struggle to enjoy conversations that would otherwise be pleasant.
It is possible to express oneself using an indoor voice and to also wait until appropriate moments when someone is attentive and listening, not doing something else. Or, politely ask "do you have a moment?"
Otherwise, I really don't mind extroverts as long as they don't completely hog the floor and dominate every conversation. One way to avoid that and get introverts to open up a bit more is to ask questions and then listen Some of the most extroverted people I know communicate brilliantly and are great fun, but they have a listening problem.
Christin, This makes me sad to think I could have lost my whole family because of my need to talk. My former husband left more my very introverted friend who almost seemed to disappear in a conversation. But that's the price of my selfishness,
It's not selfish to talk that's not what I was saying - in my case it was someone who didn't let others talk like ever and would "talk over" us etc. If someone would leave you for a friend that's not a very kind person imo.
C, You're so kind. I was in a silly mode to write that.Sometimes, tho it helps me to be totally frank with "me" 'n realize I may have been instrumental in my own fate. It's comforting to blame ourselves 4 one thing when other reasons r more painful.
Interesting question. I understand that an introvert becomes energized when alone vs. the extrovert when in groups or around people. In other words an extrovert may be quite comfortable and happy sitting alone on a 'crowded' beach. The introvert may have those same feelings sitting in the car observing the ocean setting with the window open.
Also, the introvert thinks firstly, then speaks whereas the extrovert thinks while speaking. Both do that naturally. Those are two different types of natural thinking processes, not necessarily thinking styles that are learned.
The following is IHMO.
As an introvert my experience has taught me quite possibly one perception of the extrovert is they seemingly are always changing their minds before finishing what they are saying in a conversation. Or, without structure they may be hard to follow, difficult for the introvert to converse with, and misunderstandings may ensue. However, not always.
So, without knowledge of that natural tendency an extrovert may be annoying for the introvert. Since the introvert is waiting with silence to be able to think before speaking the extrovert may think they are not paying attention. That may be annoying for the extrovert.
Being in a leadership role one learns of those tendencies as well as individual performances especially when contrasting in and out of group settings. A tendency I noticed is the extrovert performs best in a group setting with conversation even if manual labor is involved. The introvert does not seem to need the conversation. Even though there is a team effort with individual job assignments the extrovert prefers to pair up whereas the introvert will just begin the task alone.
The extrovert when clarifying instructions like to use the word 'or' a lot while offering different possibilities seeking the same result. The introvert clarifies by repeating the same set of instructions, even though they may finally ask "Do we have to do it that way?". When discovering if something was completed the extrovert tends to state a how and why. A favorite trick was to tell an extrovert "This is a yes or no question".
If an introvert is 'pissed off' they will walk off to be alone. The extrovert will walk to another usually seeking forming a group. An extrovert will answer their cell/smart phone pretty much no matter what. The introvert not as much. The extrovert will have that phone conversation in your presence while the introvert will step away or excuse their self.
Yeah, I just cannot fathom how, for example, someone who does NOT talk bothers ANYone. I mean, they are just there minding their own business, not bothering anyone. BUT an extrovert certainly bothers an introvert more because they are talking and/or in the introverts space and unless you have earplugs in or music/TV blasting, then it's annoying.
DwyerWriter, I think it depends a great deal on how a person is raised. In our family, to not participate, to sit and not interject your thoughts and feelings is perceived as selfishness. It takes energy,risk, and caring to state one's opinions.
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