Why do you think most nice guys in western culture are lame?

1. 54

   peter565posted 9 years ago

   Why do you think most nice guys in western culture are lame?
   
   Yesterday I asked a question why women date bay boys, when they can date cool guys? A response I got is that nice guys don't posses cool guy quality, while bad boys better match. Having live in Asia for a long time, here, there never lack nice, responsible & smart  guys, who are also cool, tough, confident, edgy, charming and smooth, but now think back to the west, it do seem, most nice guys in the west, don't have these qualities (although small majority do, eg Barack Obama is like this super cool President.) But why are most nice, smart, responsible men from western culture lame?

   replyreport
2. 61

   superbootbotposted 9 years ago

   In my experience, most guys that describe themselves as nice, actually aren't. If they actually were, women would be throwing themselves at them. Most "bad boys" are great guys, and are really respectful. Where in my experience, most guys that call themselves "nice guys" are manipulative and end up being really mean at heart.

   replyreport
   1. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      To ensure we are on the same page, the type you see as "bad boys" are they bad people or maybe e.g. not Christians or something else?

      replyreport
   2. 61

      superbootbotposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      When I say "bad boys" I mean the type of guy that girls go after. Most of the bad boys are really good people, which is why women prefer them over nice guys, who end up treating women badly. It's hard to explain, I think.

      replyreport
   3. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So, in your opinion, why culture label them as "bad boys" if they are not really bad people?

      replyreport
   4. 61

      superbootbotposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I think it's other men, not the culture as a whole. The guys that call themselves nice tend to be manipulative and guilt trip women, where the men they call bad are actually nice and respectful and understanding.

      replyreport
   5. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      this remind me of this post I wrote http://peter565.hubpages.com/hub/Why-is … false-view tell me what u think

      replyreport
   6. 61

      superbootbotposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with some of it, especially the racism aspect of it. But I'm not sure about the alpha male thing. And, at least in my experience, for every guy that treated me badly, there were 5 that treated me well. The bad ones just give others a bad name

      replyreport
   7. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      

      replyreport
3. 86

   Anna C Taylorposted 9 years ago

   Nice, smart, responsible men are not lame. Men who call themselves "nice guys" are usually lame. They coined the term 'friendzone' and thought that by being nice they somehow have a right to manipulate women.
   
   There is no such thing as the friendzone and being nice to a woman doesn't give you any right to expect anything from them.
   
   The 'bad boys' thing is also a myth, or maybe a high school phase. Everyone has their own type they're attracted to. Some are better than others. Typing people as 'nice' or 'bad' is a waste of time. Everyone is just an individual. You have to win over a woman by being a good person and having qualities they're attracted to.

   replyreport
   1. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      In ur opinion why u think, in west, most women say "where all good men gone" and western girls living in Asia say "Western men are jerks"?

      replyreport
   2. 86

      Anna C Taylorposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Because Western men are jerks. Not individuals, but the media portrayed men are jerks. For some reason Western men get it in their heads that they deserve what women have. That they're gypped if women don't like them because they think they're "nice"

      replyreport
   3. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      They believe they are "nice" because they're following a "script" that advised them to say, do, or behave this way and (women) will melt in their arms. When it fails or they find themselves on the sidelines they get angry ala  Elliot Rodger

      replyreport
   4. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting, do u think, we could suspect, most so call nice guys are western conservatives&bad boys are liberals. conservative follow traditional moral view blindly, even if its wrong, liberal are progressive thinker & rebel if the code is w

      replyreport
4. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   
   
   The term "lame" generally means square, uncool, not hip, boring or loser.
   It's highly doubtful many men would describe themselves as being lame. Comparisons to "bad boys" usually allude to the fact that genuine nice guys show concern for women and want to please them. They behave in such a way a young girl's parents would approve.
   Hollywood movies and romantic novels espouse the concepts of treating women like royalty, placing them on a pedestal, showering them with complements, flowers, gifts, and taking them places to win their heart. Young guys that follow this tactic but never have a girlfriend, not getting laid, or find themselves being placed in the "friend zone" after a few dates often become angry at women.
   They see the guys these women appear to chase after as being liars, players, and overall jerks in their eyes. Essentially the girls are not following the "romantic novel" rules and it makes nice guys frustrated.
   Most of the attraction for the "bad boy" has to do with their looks, rebellious nature, nonconformist behavior, and being pretty much the opposite of what a young lady's parents wants her to be getting involved with. Oftentimes he's more sexually aggressive, behaves like women are disposable props, he avoids making commitments, and keeps them guessing about his feelings or thoughts. He's unreliable/unpredictable and not trustworthy.
   Basically he's {the complete opposite} of everything "nice guys" have been (taught) to behave like in order to get a girlfriend.
   The girl is spending money on him, taking him places, buying him gifts, loaning him her car, and trying to help him in anyway possible while hopping some day he'll come to appreciate her.
   He's a user and yet the "bad boy" always has women in his life!
   Most of the "bad boy" VS "nice guy" talk generally ends once people get into their late 20s or early 30s. Women who go through a "bad boy" phase generally do so in their youth. After a few heartaches they're wiser. What's seldom talked about is "nice girls" who never get asked out on dates. Apparently "nice guys" have no interest in them!

   replyreport
   1. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting, westerners in Asia find Asians(especially Confucius-less&Buddhist)rebellious&nonconformist(eg unlike west whom put up with corrupt dark age gov, Asians quickly rebel against bad authority)but otherwise, they are respectful&re

      replyreport
   2. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It's pretty difficult to argue about which nation has the most rebellious people especially when the U.S. has the highest incarceration rate in the world! In fact this country was founded on rebellion. Lots of non conformists!

      replyreport
   3. 54

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      True, although many historians say, rebellion nature of 17th century west, was Asian influence. In Asia when authority is corrupt, especially Kings, people rebel and form a new nation. Prior to contact with Asia, westerns put up with corrupt monarchs

      replyreport