What if you find out wife is really in love with her ex?

1. 55

   peter565posted 9 years ago

   What if you find out  wife is really in love with her ex?
   
   In uni, I met this girl, we like each other, but she have a BF. I didn't want to be selfish and steal somebody's girl, so I kept my distance to her. After knowing, her BF panic and asked her to marry, she said no, cause she planning to dump him for me. So, I lied to her, telling her I got a fiancee. After that she said yes, to her BF's proposal. Now, I am sure this girl ain't in love with me now and I am in her past, but this story got me thinking, guys what would you do if your wife is in love with somebody else and girls, what would you do, in the situation this girl was in?

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2. 71

   Faceless39posted 9 years ago

   It sounds like her marriage/s won't last very long, but that's just based on the fact that she seemed so unsure about both of you. On the other hand, maybe she just had cold feet, and after leaving her ex-fiancee, she was reminded how much she loves him. That said, I don't think rushing into marriage is almost ever a good idea.
   
   Sure, some people have rushed into it and it's lasted decades, but for the most part it's a huge decision that requires thought and ample experience leading up to it. My advice would be to take your time dating, take your time being engaged, and take your time before getting married. What's the rush?
   
   And as for your spouse being in love with someone else, either that means that you're just not providing them with what they need to be happy, or else they're just not ready to settle down with one person. If I was married and found out my spouse had a roving eye, I'd take a long, hard look at how I had been treating him, and a hard look at whether I myself was happy or not. Cheating doesn't just happen; there are many clues leading up to why they would do such a thing. And again, it's just another reason why people shouldn't rush into marriage.

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   1. 55

      peter565posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      

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   2. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Her marriage last after all. Most people have been dumped or had their heart broken and decided to "move on". If they know there's no going back to their ex they have no choice but to move on and love another person.

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   
   
   I suppose it really depends on how well she treats me and how engaged she is in our marriage and building a life together.
   Truth be told anyone whose had more than one relationship is only with their mate because things didn't work out with their ex.
   Sometimes you're the one ending a relationship and sometimes it's them. Most people eventually remove their "rose colored glasses".
   They accept the fact that in order for your (ex) to have been "the one" they would have to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa). If someone doesn't want to be with you they're not the one!
   Having said that if my wife were NOT engaged in building a life with me, was romantically distant, constantly reading old love letters and looking at pictures of her ex, or I found out she was (secretly) sending him love notes and expressing her true heart's desire is to be with him....I would set her free.
   Clearly she has not "moved on" from her past relationship.
   In your case I'm not 100% sure her soon to be husband is "in love" with her if his main motivation for proposing was because of (you).
   Some guys hate the idea losing a woman so bad they're willing to propose to keep her. It's not unheard of for some women to give ultimatums to guys they've been in long-term relationships with.
   "Marry me or else I'm out of here!"

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4. 61

   Safari Chicposted 9 years ago

   It seems like your wife is playing games with you and her ex at the same time. You want me to be honest dump her. How long have you been married? She should have been honest with you from the beginning. If she lied about this imagine what else she could lie to you about. So you had to lie to her about having a fiancee in order for her to change her mind. This has nothing to do with you. Women can't handle the competition especially when there's another woman in the picture. It's the same for men too. You always want what you can't have right. It's human nature.If you really want to save your relationship then give her an ultimatum. She can't have her cake and eat it too

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