What is your take on marriage at a young age?
Do you believe that there is the right age to get married? If so what age would you say it is? I got married at 19 and people believe I'm too young for that. What is your opinion?
A recipe for having single digit odds of being in poverty: don't get married before the age of 20, don't have children before getting married, finish high school, work full time.
And when you get married before 21, the odds of divorce are over 50%. In contrast, per Shanti Feldman's research, 65% of first marriages and over half of all second marriage last the lifetime of one partner.
In my opinion there are three top reasons why people divorce.
1. They chose the wrong mate.
(They allowed "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices. Exchanged vows during the "infatuation phase" of their relationships before they each revealed their "authentic selves". Didn't have the same values or want the same things for the marriage. One of them committed a "deal breaker" in the eyes of the other.
2. They got married for the wrong reasons.
(To get out of parent's house, unplanned pregnancy, ultimatum was given, had an age goal to be married by, all their friends were married, someone was in the military and about to be deployed, perspective spouse has money/connections, saw marriage as a rite to passage to adulthood, was tired of being single, was the "next step".
3. They grew apart over time and stopped wanting the same things.
(over the long haul we're either "growing together" or "growing apart". Divorce after there is an "empty nest" is not uncommon. One person "changed" or "evolved" to a point of having different wants and needs. The marriage became "sexless" or passionless.
There may be an instance of someone having a "mid-life awakening" who regrets not pursuing their dreams while they were young. They want to get busy with their "bucket list" but their mate is content with things as they are.
Most 19 year olds haven't figured out who (they are) let alone what they want and need in mate for life. Oftentimes they lack the relationship experience and maturity to know whether or not what makes for a good marriage.
A teenage girl for example may be into a guy because he's cute, makes her laugh, and sex is great. That same woman at age 28 or 30 may have quite a few more requirements before declaring a guy is her "soul-mate".
When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Rarely does one hit a homerun their first time at bat.
The teenage years and 20s are often a period for personal development. People complete their education, establish a career, experience some freedom and independence that comes with having their own apartment or sharing one with a roommate, dating, and doing some traveling...etc (A time for FUN with little responsibility)
In many instances young married people start having children before they have means to properly take care of them. They simply "wing it" and hope their parents or some other unforeseen aid will come along and help them out. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
Naturally there will always be "the exceptions" but given the average life span it's hard to imagine someone in 2016 at age 19 is going to be with the same person for the next 60-70 years of their life.
Most people wouldn't bet their life on those odds!
by Kaleolani 7 years ago
Do you think getting married at about 17 or 18 is too young?
by Brittany Napier 4 years ago
Do you believe there is an age that is too young to get married?
by Tina Boomerina 3 years ago
Why don't people in their 20s and 30s get married anymore?In the 70s, when I was in my twenties, men and women got married and, usually, wanted to have families. What has happened to change that?
by Jewels2940 3 years ago
I know that getting married young was probably the first sign that marriage was maybe a bad idea, but a marriage isn't going to work when only one person is putting forth an effort to make it work. I was 22 when I got married; I thought that I was happy until my husband quit his job. I understand...
by Lewis Wanjohi 6 years ago
When a 19 year old asks you whether or not to marry at that age, whats the right answer
by MissStoryTeller 3 years ago
So I met up with a couple of friends last weekend and we started talking about the subject line. These are girls from my childhood whom I haven't seen in a while. One of these friends had an arranged marriage recently ... and when I say "arranged marriage" I mean it in the literal sense...
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