My son was loyal to his girlfriend of several years but she married to another what shall l do.... ?
he is a handsome young man... but feeling very sad lately and does not want to look at another woman again.... he has lost trust in them..... l feel sad for him too he did not deserve to be left like this.... l try to tell him that if he did marry her she well would have even cheated on him... and that in a way it was a good thing...
As a parent you always want to see your child happy. Many never stop fighting their battles for them or getting involved in their personal lives.
However there has to come a time when you allow them to learn from their mistakes. Clearly he ignored some "red flags" or maybe he was too self-centered to recognize they were growing apart in the relationship or just RELAXED too much.
Just because you get the job doesn't mean others aren't sending in their resumes. Companies are always evaluating employees. There is no "neutral" in relationships. You're either "growing together" or "growing apart". Communication is the GPS that lets you know which one it is. However in long-term relationships people stop talking about their wants and needs. They just make assumptions each other is happy when in reality it may not be true.
You mention he is (handsome) but like everyone else beautiful people get their hearts broken too! All you can do is "be there" to support him in his time of grief and remind him that his life is not over. A broken heart is often a rite of passage into adulthood.
Ideally we learn to become "better shoppers" in the future.
After all we live on a planet that has over 7 Billion people on it!
Odds are in everyone's favor that there are more than a few of them who would make ideal mates for each of us!
Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, or third time up at bat. If this were not the case we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!
Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.
Eventually he'll meet someone where the love is mutual and they'll get married. Silently he will be thanking his (ex) for leaving him because if she hadn't he would not have met this new wonderful woman! It's the circle of life.
Every ending is a new beginning!
As a parent you are only person who care for him so you can change him. First thing don't pressure him to forget past let it slowly recover because for every pain time is the only medicine to heal so wait. Then don't let him to be alone always try to sit as family talk to him.
If he ready to change for new office and environment it will help him lot. If possible explain him life is not end for only one person in the world and make him to feel your presence.
Tell him your happiness lies in him and this relationship came in middle of his life but you are with him from birth. Convince him not all are bad and not all are good situations. Tell him to believe first and tell few examples. Slowly soon he will change because he got parent like you.
My wishes for you soon your son will be happy.
Being his Mom I know you want to fix this and make him happy.
He needs to work through this on his own, he will even learn from it. One day a girl will come along when he least expects it and he will be interested. All his feeling will come back towards women and being happy. Because what he went through this time he will be less likely to jump in or make mistakes. He may have a better relationship because of this.
Just be there for him, let him know you lave and care about him. Most importantly, let him work it out in his own time.
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