What acts are considered cheating? When is it cheating, and where is the line? read more
Cheating is in the eye of the beholder.
Naturally we start off with anyone who has stated they are in an "exclusive" relationship and has made it clear they have no romantic interest in anyone else and will not be participating in activities normally associated with dating.
One situation everyone agrees with is having sex with someone else.
Beyond that some people consider it cheating if they catch their mate flirting, using sexual innuendo, holding hands, having secret lunches and dinners with someone else, connecting in chat rooms, and even long distance Internet affairs where people have never met in person.
Others have stated they consider sexting, webcam sex, and watching internet porn to be a form of cheating. There's also emotional cheating where people confide in one another about their mates.
The best definition I've ever heard is from an episode of Dr. Phil
"Cheating is doing or saying anything that you wouldn't do if your mate were sitting right next to you."
Essentially there are two components to cheating.
1. Secrecy
2. Lying (Either directly, indirectly, or by omission)
Generally you have people who are "proactively looking to cheat" and then you have others who gradually give themselves permission to be deceitful by telling themselves things like:
"Just because I'm married or in a relationship doesn't mean I can't have {friends} of the opposite sex."
"I don't know all of her/his friends either."
"It's not as if we're {doing anything}. We're both married."
"We just flirt for the fun of it to breakup the work day."
These types of people are the ones who after there is kissing and having sex behind their mates back will claim:
"We never meant for this to happen."
Bottom line if you're keeping "secrets" about your time spent with other people from your mate whether it's lunches, dinners, or going for walks and having conversations about relationship problems... because you know your mate/spouse wouldn't approve it's cheating.
One man's opinion!
Cheating is acting upon an intimate interest in someone else except your exclusive partner.
This obviously includes having sexual relations (whatever this means) with someone else, if you are already married, engaged, or have an exclusive relationship with another person (have a boyfriend or girlfriend).
But like with anything else, violation doesn't happen at the moment when a person who has a committed partner is engaged in an intimate act with someone else.
The principle of boundaries helps to understand it. While everyone agrees that hitting another person is unacceptable, the act of hitting usually doesn't happen out of nowhere. Before a physical hit, there is usually yelling. But yelling also doesn't occur out of nowhere. Before yelling, there is typically talking in raised voices. Before that, there is talking with a charge in voice. If two people are able to talk without raising voices, without a charge in their voices, while discussing a disagreement or a problem, then there is very little chance that one of them suddenly hits the other.
With cheating, it is the same. The person is not just cheating when they are in the middle of a hot intimate encounter and not even at the moment of the first kiss. It is at the moment when they realized that they have an interest in another person in a romantic way and decided to act upon it that they have committed the first act of cheating on their partner.
There is always this very first moment of realization, "I like this person in a sexual way" and then the choice of continuing getting closer to them. This is where all cheating starts. The rest is progression.
So, is checking profiles on a dating site an act of cheating? Yes, because it is an act of procuring romantic interest in someone else except your partner. It doesn't matter that the person didn't even talk to anyone. The very fact of checking other people is a conscious choice.
How to protect yourself from cheating? If you have strong morals, don't get involved with a cheater in the first place. If you are seeking contacts online, utilize known ways to check if an online dating profile is genuine or not (Source link: http://www.streetarticles.com/dating/10 … ine-or-not). People who are not genuine have a higher potential to cheat on you. Lying in one thing is usually connected with a willingness to stretch boundaries in general.
Say a married person considers cheating to be a "deal breaker".Based on your statement if they learned their spouse was "checking profiles on a dating site"
They would be looking for a divorce attorney!
Cheating is in the eye of the beholder.
by chamarie33 9 years ago
I was married for ten years to an unromantic, verbally abusive person. I'm not saying that I did no wrong or anything, but I am the one choosing to leave our unhealthy relationship. My husband didn't let me sing and I am a singer, and he disapproves of my smoking medical cannabis, which is legal...
by Tranita 13 years ago
Just because they accuse you of cheating, does it mean that they are doing it?It's usually said that if he or she is accusing you then that means they are doing it? How true is this when it comes to relationships? If you feel it's true then why?
by Phil Perez 9 years ago
People have their own personal opinions of cheating. That's fine, but what I'd like to know are the classifications of cheating, specifically, factors to prove something is deemed cheating. How does cheating begin?
by Cat 11 years ago
What do you do when you realize you married a jerk?What do you do when you marry the "perfect" person and after the "new" wears off, you realize he/she is a jerk? Is it for better or worse or run for the door?
by MissStoryTeller 9 years ago
So I met up with a couple of friends last weekend and we started talking about the subject line. These are girls from my childhood whom I haven't seen in a while. One of these friends had an arranged marriage recently ... and when I say "arranged marriage" I mean it in the literal sense...
by Hermit Mink 8 years ago
Should I be mad that my mistress is sleeping with a friend of mine?I know there is no honor amongst thieves, so to speak, but should I be upset that a former friend of mine has hooked up with my mistress. I feel that I am in love with her, and have entertained leaving my wife for her....
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