When someone says "you've changed" can it only mean you have stopped living your

Jump to Last Post 1-9 of 9 discussions (17 posts)
  1. profile image0
    threekeysposted 2 years ago

    When someone says "you've changed" can it only mean you have stopped living your life their way?

    How do you see it?

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13124377_f260.jpg

  2. gmwilliams profile image82
    gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/13124060_f260.jpg

    Sometimes when others remark how one has changed, it means that the person has changed & evolved for the better.  Such a person has become more positive regarding his/her lifestyle development.   This person has adopted a new, wider paradigm for his/her life.

    To some people, when they remark how one has changed, it means that they can no longer manipulate the person into their negativistic or limiting paradigm as to how to do things.  Such people view this person as threatening to their order of things as if the latter change, h/she no longer may wish to associate w/them so in order to have "unity", they may squash this person's evolvement.   They want the person to be stagnant, even toxic w/them as misery loves company.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting points Grace. Thank you!

  3. profile image0
    Cissy1946posted 2 years ago

    I don't think it means you've stopped living your life their way, you've just stopped living your life the way they're used to seeing you live it. I believe the events of our lives change us daily. Usually the changes are small and over a long period of time so anyone around you wouldn't notice, just as you probably don't notice the changes in them. But if something happens to you that is of a life changing magnitude then the changes in you will probably be very noticeable. With luck, the changes are positive.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I have friends that are still friends now after being at secondary school. I admire them because it enhances your feelings of safety and security. I wanted that but that didn't happen. And in part that is good. Because life is about changing.

  4. Kathleen Cochran profile image81
    Kathleen Cochranposted 2 years ago

    Sometimes their buffer has just been removed.  I saw this when my father-in-law died and again when my mother died.  Both of their spouses seemed very different.  But it was just that no one was there any longer to dilute their basic tendencies - or to protect the rest of us from them.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      That must have been hard to take...

  5. profile image60
    ezba29posted 2 years ago

    We won't change its just our way of behaviour. Our internal character won't change like helping mind, kind heart , boldness, affectionate ...

    Person will be growing from children  till death.  It's not like if we become adults we have grown up it depends on our life experience. Everyone have their own expectations and way of thinking.  So how we adopt to climate in particular place we will adopt ourselves based on the situation. This adoption may be feel as change.

    Situation decide our behaviour so if people say that you are changed its sometimes they may be jealous about you or they are happy for you.

    For example Some person may be having stage fear in school days but now that person may become good speaker and successful one in that field this may consider as change by school friends.

    Whatever may be person change only because of their circumstances so everyone should live their own life not to think about others. Outside people are only to give comments but they won't live our lives.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      So...you feel it is best to focus on our lives rather than dabbling or interfering in other lives? That sounds good but sometimes challenging for some.

  6. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 2 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13124933_f260.jpg

    It's possible you stopped wanting the same things or changed views.
    When couples in relationships for example first get together they're on the "same page" for just about everything! During the "infatuation phase" both people bend over backwards to impress one another. The word "no" is seldom if ever used and both people make it a top priority to see that the other person is happy. This causes people to feel they're "soul-mates".
    After there is an "emotional investment" or "commitment" established many people feel it's safe for them to (relax) and reveal their "authentic selves".
    A "die hard romantic" may discover their mate really isn't into romantic gestures beyond an initial courtship. In fact they may call this "normal".
    From the romantic's point of view their mate {stopped} doing all the things that caused them to fall in love with them.
    It's been said men marry women hoping they will never change and women marry men hoping they will change over time. Maybe they're both unrealistic.
    In other instances you might have a friend you grew up with and they stayed in the same town after graduating from high school. You on the other hand went off to college, traveled around the world,  accumulated a diverse number of friends and acquaintances in addition to having countless other experiences.
    When you do come "home" to visit family it's no surprise if your old friend feels like you "changed" because you have!
    When our experiences are vastly different from another we start to have less in common with old friends and family members.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Great points...

  7. fpherj48 profile image77
    fpherj48posted 2 years ago

    ThreeKeys.....I would guess we have all been told, "You've changed." at least once by someone in our life.  If the person who had made that comment does not add their reason for saying it, this can lead us to assume any number of things:
    It's always possible that person's "perception" of you is different at a certain time under particular circumstances.  Perhaps we truly have changed in some drastic way, intentionally, for our own personal reason & can be pleased that it's noticeable.  It's also quite possible the person saying you've changed is in fact the one who has changed but unwilling to admit this.
    In any case, if that comment is something you feel the need to understand, it would require further discussion and some questioning.  For one thing, exactly what about you do they see has changed?  Your appearance?  attitude?  behavior?  beliefs?
    Hopefully, as we move through life we all change by growing, learning & discovering new and different aspects of the huge world around us.  I firmly believe we are different today than we were just yesterday and will be different again tomorrow and all days to come.
    We're not programmed robots, thank goodness.  We have every opportunity and quite often good reason to change our minds on any topic we can name.  People can change, do change and certainly there are some things we should want to change about ourselves, our lives and things we may have believed for years.
    If we feel in our heart that the changes we've made are to our benefit and that of those in our life, it can only be positive.  As for "why" someone may mention to you that you've changed.....that's pretty much for them to explain.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Intense and comprehensive. Thankyou Paula.

  8. tamarawilhite profile image92
    tamarawilhiteposted 2 years ago

    I read it as "you don't meet my expectations", but the problem is their expectations, not how I've lived my life.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes it can be definetely be that!

  9. josephinesmith12 profile image58
    josephinesmith12posted 2 years ago

    no i dont think so it means that you have stopped living your life their way but it may be as simple as you just have changed some the things you usde to do regardless the fact that those were their way or not.simply you got changed.neither you were living your life their way before nor now.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes I see...thankyou Josephine:)

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)