Have you ever stopped associating with someone because you did not agree with something they did?
Did you discuss it with them or just cut them off? Is it best to just be "too busy" for them or to be flat out honest about the affects their action (s) had on you?
Yes. We had a friend who was so verbally abusive to his wife and other people, that we reached the point that we could not stand to be around him any longer. He and his wife had been married over 30 years, and she was apparently used to it. But, it made us very uncomfortable.
yes i did..then my friend asked me if he/she did something wrong then i'll answer "nothing" and then leave..for me sometimes you don't need to confront a friend to make him/her aware that he/she did something wrong..you just need to act differently..
i told m 20 year long childhood friend that he was not welcome in my home until his behaior improved,... i told him EXACTLY why,... and he did not set foot through my garden gate for 6 months. we talked, text, hung out etc,... but he did not enter my house again until i felt it apropriate.
and to this day, he hangs at my house a lot less. i treasure him as a friend, but i trust him less a a person,... its dificult,... but i would not be a true friend if i didnt call him on his behavior. if he didnt matter i could have cut him off and never spoke to or seen him again.
i guess when it comes to true friends, i'll fight with them, and over them, and for them,....
for passing friends,... well,.... thier just passing friends,.... let them pass
Yes. My friend since childhood. Her dad had a heart attack while she was in vegas and she didnt come home. He has been in intensive care for the last five days and had surgery a few days ago. She and her husband have been posting pics on facebook everyday to show everyone all the fun she's having at the same time she's sending texts asking everyone to pray for her dad. I'm disgusted and don't want to talk to her again. BTW it will be ten yrs on 10/22 that my dad passed. I guess I'm a bit sensitive.
I did tell her how I felt and I think I was a bit harsh but I don't regret it.
Yes, I have and I know people disagree with that. I've come to realize that when people consistently act, or do things that are repetitive negative, it has a way of draining your energy. I have someone right now trying to get back into my life but I've drawn the line. People have to be willing to change themselves before you can help them to move into a more positive lane. However, I do believe in addressing issues with the person, giving time for changes to be made to help our relationship to be healthier but if that person refuses to make changes cut-off is the result! Still praying for them but moving on through my life mission.
Yes, with a co-worker of mine. She became "clingy" with me and always shared with me all her depressing stories about losing her house, needing another job, to breaking up with her boyfriend. It became very irritating and I had my own problems. Might I also add I work in medical billing, it's a high stress job. I didn't want to hear about her problems all day. When I noticed she began taking her breaks at the same time as me I had enough of her. One day I just told her I wanted to go to break alone, I had something's on my mind and needed time to myself. It wasn't a lie, I had a lot going on between work and home and I was frustrated. I had a peaceful quiet break away from everyone and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Over the next few days she questioned the hell out of me. "What did I do?" What's wrong?" Are you mad at me?" I told her it wasn't anything about her I just have so much going on in life that I need those 15 minutes I get alone to myself. She was pissed about it. I felt no need to explain any further than that. If I did we would all just get our feelings hurt. Besides that she is a co-worker and that's it. I will never understand how some folks become best friends with someone at work. I didn't feel anything from my actions but relief. Relief that I didn't have to hear this woman's voice non-stop everyday, 5 days out of the week, for 15 minutes. I now enjoy my break and could give a damn about what's going on over in her world.
Flat out honesty.......they say forgiveness free's you, but flat out honesty works every time. If you ever want to be free of something speak to the person about it. To be honest I feel if someone never does anything negative to you there is no room for error or misunderstanding. Most of the time people allow other people to "get away with things" without calling them on it. Then they revert to slowly but surely making themselves unavailable because they are upset or don't want to deal with them because of what they have done. Well now that I thought about it..... to be honest some people don't deserve your flat out honesty. Sometimes it is for you to bluntly separate yourself because if they respected you as well as the "relationship "and friendship that you had they wouldn't have went there with whatever insults and actions..... People are weird and do strange things for results only they would imagine. It's not worth you any to entertain or waste your energy on certain people, especially when they are adamant about their selfish behavior
style zinc I know tht type you are talking about, they usually have an ulterior motive you'll never see ......strange zones #totally
Numerous times in my youth when I found out people hanging were kleptos or addicts, one is usually the other.
To a lesser degree with people who just took too many chances with things like DUI.
Later in life with people who just don't have respect for the property of others.
I am a very hard person to get close to so not really in my adult life.
Some particularly wicked people want to harm others on purpose. They enjoy doing it and so there is no point telling them how their actions affect you. This is what they want. They want to see you suffer because they cannot sleep at night until they have seen someone fall. Proverbs 4:16
Sometimes its better to agree to disagree, and Yes i have stopped because they did not respect what i stood for, if someone can not understand the reason you have reservations over what they are doing, its better to let them know in advance that you will not be able to maintain what you have between you , relationships are made out of respect to what someone believes.
there is no absolute reason to be bitter or stressed, cutting off the relationship after all other logical solutions have failed would be the last resort.
Yep my hubby's family. They are all two faced and one of the sister in laws has been such a bitch towards me. It is hard to be around people that don't understand and are two faced. I have stopped going to family party's because of it. Plus one of the brother in laws is always going on about sex and grabs his wife's breasts and asks if they can have sex all the time in front of everyone including my kids. They are having a party today but i refused to go because i can't deal with them. x
I've backed away from associating with someone I discovered was TOXIC to be around...PLENTY OF TIMES. I know the kind of people I wish to have in my close circle of friends and those whom I do NOT. It's not necessary to go into detail with these people as to WHY you have turned cold, unless they firmly insist upon knowing. Then I would be vague and gentle. People are who they are and just because I may find them to be poisonous, does not mean others see them that way. They'll find others who want their company.
I generally discuss it with them and find out their response/reaction before I make any decisions about whether I'm going to pursue a friendship with them or not.
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