Can your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend be your friend after a painful breakup?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. sandeep15r profile image77
    sandeep15rposted 3 years ago

    Can your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend be your friend after a painful breakup?

    We all (or at least most of us) have a painful past. Can our ex-girlfriend or boyfriend be our friend after a painful breakup?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image85
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    The best friendships between exes usually occurs after a large gap in time. Essentially both people have moved on and found true love or real happiness with other people.
    They're no longer "emotionally invested" in their past. It's almost as if they're grateful they broke up because it allowed them to find that special someone or even find happiness within themselves.
    Having said that it's unrealistic to expect to go from being "red hot lovers" to "instant platonic friends" rivaling something along the lines of being brother and sister. Rarely is it a situation where both people wanted to breakup. Generally speaking the person ending the relationship is only offering "friendship" as a "consolation prize" in order to avoid feeling like the "bad guy".
    However their ex sees friendship as a ray of hope that may lead to a reconciliation.
    Hollywood movies and romance novels has planted the seed that loving/passionate relationships are filled with "drama" including breakups and makeups before there can be a "happily ever after".
    In fact society tells us: "Relationships are (hard work".
    The reality is if it's that "hard" you're probably with the (wrong) one!
    Compatibility trumps compromise!
    If either of you has to "change" to make a relationship "work" it means you're with the wrong person. People don't change unless (they're) unhappy.
    The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.
    Another reason is sometimes exes end up having sex. This sets up things for the dumped person to be hurt even more once they realize they have become a "booty call" or "friends with benefits" until their ex finds love with another. They truly believed the sex was leading to getting back together.
    Lastly even if exes manage to become best friends eventually one or both of them will find new love with someone who doesn't want their man/woman spending time with their ex unless they have children.
    It may be possible to become (good acquaintances) but don't expect to be "best friends forever".
    Very few women I know of would be okay with their man going to lunch, to happy hours, or checking out an entertainment or sports activity with their ex-girlfriend. And yet if he was doing those things with a male they'd have no problem with it.
    Technically if it's a "platonic relationship" it's the same!
    If a woman/man is "in love" with their current mate and they are forced to choose between their friendship with their "platonic ex" and "the love of their life".... lets just say love usually wins.

  3. ptosis profile image63
    ptosisposted 3 years ago

    no ................................and ......................nope

  4. tamarawilhite profile image90
    tamarawilhiteposted 3 years ago

    Unless you have children together and want to maintain a good relationship to maintain access to the children, no, you can't, unless you both mature dramatically.

  5. MizBejabbers profile image89
    MizBejabbersposted 3 years ago

    I've seen a few couples who got along better after they broke up or divorced than they did together, but I never experienced that. After a breakup, usually one of us was too hurt to actually be friends. I have a relative who pals around now with his ex-wife. They've been divorced for at least 15 years, and I really don't see them re-marrying and spoiling their new relationship.
    If you watch those disaster movies on the Syfy Channel, did you ever notice that the hero and heroine were usually exes who always got back together after they saved the city or the world? That tells me that they should have gone to counseling and shouldn't have split up in the first place.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)