What do you do in a marriage where your wife is a great mother but a lazy wife?

1. 53

   Willie Devoeposted 8 years ago

   What do you do in a marriage where your wife is a great mother but a lazy wife?
   
   She is great with the kids but so lazy. She cooks every blue moon. She doesn't work but has multiple degrees. She is selfish in the bedroom. Doesn't support or encourage me. She always complain about everything and constantly has her hands out for money.

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2. 49

   Caroline Popeposted 8 years ago

   I would defiantly talk to her and figure out her feelings towards you. She's great mother and a lazy wife? Is it that or have her feelings towards you changed?

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   Was it always like this or did it gradually/suddenly change?
   There is no amount of work or communication that can overcome being with someone who simply does NOT want what you want.
   After you've had discussions about what you want you have to make a decision if things remain the same.
   Ask yourself: Is this a "deal breaker"? (Only you know if it is.)
   Generally speaking people only change when (they) are unhappy. Expecting someone to become who they are not will only lead to frustration on your part and resentment on her part.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
   Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine!

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4. 69

   Old-Empresarioposted 8 years ago

   Join the club. But honestly; it's a sad reality that women aren't always good at being the lifetime companion husbands want. I'm speaking generally of course since I don't have all the details. Nevertheless, after women have a few kids in marriage, they entirely lose interest in the relationship. It's probably not you. It's a chemical/nature thing I think. But all women do it. The best things to do are to find ways to be "interesting" to her again and be as masculine as you can. Hobbies away from the wife might be a good place to start. Some men like going to the gym. Some go out with friends. Some get outdoor hobbies, fix things or play lots of golf. I wouldn't dote on her or talk about any of this with her though. What you describe is sort of an epidemic in marriages. There are theories on why this is, but the reality in dealing with it is to never assume the marriage will run itself on autopilot.

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   1. 53

      Willie Devoeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate that but it sucks. I'm a neat freak so I'm always cleaning and I'm always cooking. She just sits on her butt all day long like we are just rolling in the money or if she is disabled. She gives no support or encouragement.

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