I don't know about all cheaters, but it's been my (unfortunate) experience that they don't. I've learned the hard way that a person who is hard-wired to cheat - meaning they enjoy having a partner & someone on the side - will never be monogamous. I'm speaking of someone who hasn't made a 'mistake', but someone who has a history of it with other partners and also a pattern of it with their current partner. Very painful lesson to be learned.
Sometimes. I think it might be rare though, but I don't like to group everyone as the same.
Rose.....Allow me to say, "DITTO," to Shirley's comment. I have expressed this same opinion numerous times in my life as well as here on HP.
I believe, based upon decades of witnessing, experience, study of human nature & behavior analysis.....without a doubt: Human beings will either cheat or they will not according to their constitution, ideals, personal beliefs, moral fiber, basic nature......In other words, said more clearly and elementary, given identical scenarios, motive & opportunity....an individual will either be capable of cheating or they simply are not.
"Changing" this from one to the other is HIGHLY unlikely......RARE!
Only if the punishment for having cheated is hard enough, and it ruins your relationship if you're constantly supervising and disciplining him.
No, he isn't going to change 95% of the time.
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posted by Cordelia Bay
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