What To Do When Your Friend Is Pan?
My friend in high school is pansexual and she has a crush on this one girl...she cries about her like literally everyday and thinks her crush hates her...she ignores and avoids her like everyday even though she says she likes her back...what can I do to help her?
Clearly the feelings are NOT mutual.
Your friend needs to learn to accept this and move on.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
If someone ignores and avoids you "like everyday" they clearly don't think you're all that "special".
In order for this girl to be "the one" for your friend she would have to see your friend as being "the one" for her. At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually WANTS to be with you!
In order for your friend to move on she must first let go.
Thankfully there are (7 Billion) other people on this planet!
I can understand your wanting to help your friend but this sounds like a situation where it's best to stay out of it. It's between your friend and this other person. Aside from being supportive/sympathetic to your friend, realistically there probably isn't much you can do.
Closed....You're both High School-aged teens. Your emotions are young and basically untried in relationship to truly understanding the various changes you're going through at this time. I'm a bit curious about your first statement describing your friend. Pansexual? This is interesting but raises a red flag you all seem to be unaware of.
"Having a crush on someone," (boy or girl) ~~ liking someone or being especially fond of a person, hardly means that sexual activities are automatically a given. We human beings, regardless of what you may think, simply do NOT want to have a sexual relationship (nor even an encounter) with every single person we find likeable or attractive!! This just isn't rational or sensible thinking. In fact, it's bizarre, unacceptable, unhealthy and outright dangerous to believe other wise!
I doubt you can do much to help your friend in this particular situation. Your friend needs to mature to a level of independent thinking in numerous areas of her life, as do all individuals in their teens. You may suggest at least that your friend confide in an adult whom she trusts~perhaps your school counselor.
Frankly, what is most important in your lives presently, is your education, your social growth and perhaps involvement in extra-curriculars that will help to form a well-rounded individual in adulthood. You have the rest of your life to make serious choices in terms of romantic partners.
Well said Paula. You have an amazing way of saying things. I am a life time ago away from the innocent, nieve and unexperienced person I was in high school.
Terrie..Thank U 4 the support. Between us( wise ole owls)~w/ my eldest having just turned 49, rest assured my style of child rearing a half century ago may B outdated but I cling 2 it as "the way it should always be!" I'm a "dinosaur" I guess!
by lottie henderson 6 years ago
why do people stay in relationships when they are clearly unhappyI'm all for giving 100% into your relationship and trying.and trying.but surely there comes a time when you have to stop living your life trying to keep someone else happy
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