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There's a young lady I like at work. Can someone help me with some advise?

  1. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
    Dwight Phoenixposted 12 months ago

    There's a young lady I like at work. Can someone help me with some advise?

    So I'm fairly new in my job (a couple months) fresh out of University.

    However there's this great looking young lady and like myself she's new to the organization. I was the first one to make a move, by inviting her to lunch however she accepted but it didn't work out because we are on separate ends of the compound and it's not easy getting across in time.
    We talk GREAT over the phone but whenever there's an opportunity for us to meet up it doesn't seem to happen. She's extremely nice but I can't tell if she's serious or just using me as a past time.

    She likes me or she likes me not?

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/13499860_f260.jpg

  2. Pam Morris profile image81
    Pam Morrisposted 12 months ago

    I can tell from reading your posting you are very attractive to this young lady. However, if it meant to be it will happen. I suggest you take your time and don’t move too fast. You can push a female away if you too aggressive; I also, suggest you don’t play the “emotional detective.” Although, women will dig into their memories and observations and go through every detail, no matter how small and insignificant, to try to uncover a “hidden message” or “secret code” that the guy is sending. But the reality is that by playing emotional detective, you usually only succeed in doing one thing: driving yourself crazy.

    “Does he or she like me?” is by far the most oft-asked question anyone asks his or herself when they are attractive to another person. However, I feel the best thing to do is take your time get to know her and learn if she likes you especially since it sounds like she willing to spend time with you. I'm not sure if she like you or not but most female usually don't waste their time with a person unless they are interested in something, so I think you have a pretty good shot at finding romance. Good luck and I wish you the best.

    1. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
      Dwight Phoenixposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      I got to say...Good answer Pam..Glad to know I have a chance..smile smilesmile
      What did you mean by N emotional detective btw...
      I'm wondering if I lost her though cause recently I've been a little impatient n weak. We still talk though

    2. Pam Morris profile image81
      Pam Morrisposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      I mean Love comes with many emotions and she will notice the odd ones. Although it will be hard try to control your emotions. Take your time and get to know her and I believe it will end well.

    3. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
      Dwight Phoenixposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you..smilesmile

      I asked her out again next week and she said "sure".

      So let's see how things turn out.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 12 months ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13500085_f260.jpg

    "...whenever there's an opportunity for us to meet up it doesn't seem to happen."
    If (both people) want something to happen it usually does!
    You might try asking to have lunch over the weekend or maybe have a cocktail after work on a Friday (Happy hours), or maybe there's a daytime festival of some kind taking place one weekend. If she turns you down or has a weak excuse it probably means she has no interest in getting to know you outside of work.
    The worst thing you can do is pretend like you want to be a "platonic friend" co-worker when you really want a shot at developing a romantic relationship! She won't appreciate the sneak attack or hidden agenda approach once they discover your ulterior motives. Avoid the "friend zone"!!!
    A fast rejection saves everyone time!
    Anyone who tells you "lets be friends first..." is saying;
    "I don't see (you) as being (the one) for me!"
    If they did they wouldn't risk leaving you on the "open market". After all there is no such thing as "exclusive friends".
    I would normally advise people to avoid dating co-workers.
    Lets face it most dating relationships end with a breakup!
    Things can get dicey when exes have to be around each other all day or witness them meeting new mates for lunch...etc
    It's easier to find a new girl you like than to find a new job!
    However since you stated this girl is way across the campus then if things didn't work out you would rarely have any interaction. Therefore I say; Go for it!
    "If it's not worth asking for it's not worth having!"
    Best wishes!

    1. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
      Dwight Phoenixposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      "It's easier to find a new girl you like than to find a new job"......Makes sense

      The problem I have however is she's very up and down...

      She doesn't seem stand offish from conversations. She's really nice and we talk about meeting up. however.....

    2. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      Yes, but is it (you) or her that keeps it from happening?
      When it's not a "good time" does (she) ever come up with an alternate time or plan?
      Some women are "nice" to everyone and don't want to hurt a guy's feelings. When will he get the hint?

    3. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
      Dwight Phoenixposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      Sooooooo..Are you saying she's trying to send me a message...?

      Reasons outside of our control prevents us from meeting up. But she's playful n defensive at the same Time​ when I try to bring more intimate topics.

    4. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      'If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.' - Jim Rohn
      I truly believe if (both of you) want it to happen it would happen. After being shut down several times by "obstacles" one wonders.

    5. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
      Dwight Phoenixposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse"

      Nice quote...I see you write a lot of hubs on the subject of romance. So you should give great advise.

      In one go, what can I do to win her over.

    6. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      There's no real work-around besides spending some time together. You can try SKPE, phone calls and emails until she feels comfortable.
      You may want to check out my book. https://www.amazon.com/Cat-Wont-Bark-Re … 1468104721

    7. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
      Dwight Phoenixposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      Oh wow you wrote a book....

  4. Old-Empresario profile image82
    Old-Empresarioposted 11 months ago

    Stand confidently, smile, look her in the eyes and ask her on a date (and call it a date). If she says yes, then that's great. If she says no, just keep smiling, nod once and say, "ok", still looking her in the eyes. Then say, "I'll see you around" or something and go do something else.

    1. Dwight Phoenix profile image77
      Dwight Phoenixposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      Well.......thanks for the advise. I had lunch with her last week. It was ok not great or anything. So she's still a hard one to read. I'm still on the friendly-guy-I-had-with-list. So I'll see

 
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