Well ladies, if you knew of a young girl that was going out on her first date. Let's just say she's 12, then what advice would you give her about her first date? please discuss. by the way, this has nothing to do with me or anyone that i know. i just like reading your posts, as i do get a kick out of them, as most of you probably know about me by now.
To be honest; I don't think that a 12 year old should be going on a date or anything else. I realize that kids are doing that but, they should be focusing on being a child.
I would go somewhere public and meet the person there (instead of having him pick her up). If she's dependent on him to take her home, what if he doesn't want to take her, he's been drinking, etc.?
I would go out during the day, maybe for lunch, on the weekend. A lot of men expect sex at the end of the date - but he doesn't tell her that when he asks her out) and he often wants to spend the night at her place or he wants to drive her to his place. If you meet for lunch, you can always say you have plans in the afternoon, evening, etc.
Don't leave your drink unattended. A lot of men put something in the other person's drink which makes the woman incapacitated.
I know it sounds paranoid but these things have happened to countless women. Someone young and inexperienced in life may not know that these things happen and sometimes they find out after they've been done to the woman.
At twelve? I would not encourage romantic style dating at that age. Just 'group of friends' activities.
yeah, good point. besides, many girls are often naive about dating around that age anyway, so it would be easy for a boy to try to take advantage of them.
Its funny you should ask that question, I can definitely give her advice, I've just published the hub entitled" 10 Signs: He Is Mr. Wrong, I also have older hubs 10 Ways to Know If He Is Into You, and 10 Ways to Know If He Is Just Not That Into You. tell her to check them out. Even if she doesn't read the hubs I, advice her to be very selective, pay attention, and be very careful in dating.
Keeping them in a group activities framework allows some harmless crushes if they are at that stage without letting it get too far.
That sounds like a winner to me. They should be enjoying being a child and not rush into anything else. When they rush into adult things, they can't get the child things back.
Twelve is young but I remember being twelve and going on a date. My mother suggested we go with a group of friends to the movies. That's what we basically did. The movies and out to eat. We also went bowling! Woo Hoo! It took the pressure off of us and our parents So I suggest a young lady at the age of twelve definitely go on a group date and it doesn't even have to be all couples.
Why are you really asking though?
How about... marry the fellah after you both graduate university.
Twelve is rather young to be out on a date. If she must, she would be better of with a group of positive minded friends, remember, peer groups do have influence on children at that age and if she messes up with the wrong group, she might end up on the wrong lane. So going out with groups that the parents can trust is very important. Also the choice of venue is important, nothing cozy and sexual. Sexual imagination arouses early these days among children due to technology and social media so parents need to be on top of family affairs to prevent children from derailing. Once she decides to embark on dates, mother-daughter communication becomes highly essential essential from this moment.
Hi, Tell her not to bother! I always say, you spend half your life trying to find the man of your dreams, and the rest of the time trying to get rid of him! lol
Make sure the date is in a safe environment like your home or his parent's home. Make sure it is a daytime date and try to advice your daughter not to engage in any sexual activities.
I have two boys. My oldest is 15 and it is tough watching them date and all the worries that come with it. I believe having a strong relationship with your child helps. They need to understand the concept of dating and how they should respect themselves and others. Boy or girl they need to have a parent take the time to talk to them.
No one's mentioned sex. Yes, 12 is too young but when the age is right, let's say 18, young males are interested in the hunt and conquest. Young females need to know that penis is the enemy until she is married or old enough to know about life.
Men may not get this, but having sex without love is a big self esteem crusher. Women cannot separate sex from love in their minds so every encounter without love is potentially devastating even if she pretends it isn't. It will catch up to her.
If you're crazy enough to let her go on a date at 12, don't be surprised when she comes back pregnant with your first grandchild.
12 I'd say is a bit young for actual dating. I had a so called bf at around 12 but it is more like hanging out as friends with a group of friends but never unsupervised. Hand holding was the big deal. But also when I say Supervised i don't mean parents following them around 2 steps behind or making them sit in the same room all the time with them, they also need you to trust them a little too. Be involved and take them to the movies, mall, putt-putt or whatever during the day and be there just not lingering right there. Then meet them at x time at x spot. Give them a little space but let them know the boundaries "Rules" and consequences for unappropriate behavior upfront and follow-through if necessary. Normally, at that age it is more hanging out and socializing than any thing else. Also, it is a good idea to get to know the bf or gf, invite them over for dinner or watch a movie. Ask questions afterward, for example about the movie? who was there? if it is a group event. etc...
As for dating it was not allowed till I was 16 and same for my friends. I will say that the girls with the strictest parents were the ones that were the most rebellious and got into the most trouble.
Although I agree with most people on here that ideally a 12 year old would not be dating, I also know that 12 year olds DO date and to try to force them not to will only damage your relationship with them. So assuming that she's already decided to go down that path I would tell her to have fun, discuss with her the consequences and risks of some actions and encourage her to set definite boundaries that she will not cross. The main thing would be to encourage her to talk with me when she got back, I would want to make sure she felt she had a mature adult she could tell everything to and get advice from. Not that I would be her "friend" and never tell her her actions were wrong, but I would want her to be able to be honest and open with me so that I could give her the guidance that she will need and that I wish I could've had. (I had a mother who said it's bad, don't do it, and assumed I never snuck out at night, I had zero guidance and when bad things happened, I had noone to talk to.)
Kids mature at different levels but I agree with the others that said twelve is way too young. They should enjoy their youth as long as possible.
Start them out in group settings with other kids. Have her boyfriend come over and watch a movie or play a game with adult supervision.
Make sure you discuss sex and let her know that you should wait for a special guy and not give yourself to just anyone. Make sure she has access to condoms even if you don't think she is sexually active. Even if she is on oral contraceptives that won't protect her from STD's
Don't be naive and assume just because you told her to remain celibate that nothing will happen.
1. All men are stinky
2. Keep your legs crossed
3. Keep your mouth crossed
4. If they say "that never happened before.." They are lying
5. Marry rich
I honestly do not believe that the age of 12 is appropriate to start dating, what does your parents say about that? I don't believe in simply dating casually, unless you are ready to search for a future marriage partner what's the real purpose in dating?Sorry guys i'm speaking from having been divorced, so i'm sure you can proboly understand my perspective on this.
Make sure she knows that telling a boy no and having him stop does NOT mean the issue won't come up again - it doesn't mean that particular boy is safe from then on.
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