Why do we lose trust when we lose love?
When you're a kid and your parents don't love each other anymore. The saddest day in your life is the one where they both sit you down and tell you. I remember the entire conversation, and I know now why I lost my trust. It was a long time coming for me. But when my parents divorced I didn't just lose the experience of a family, but my dad left too. Nobody saw it coming, but before we knew it he was gone. It's now been nine years since any of us have seen him. It wasn't our fault, and I would love to say that it isn't his either. He is in a toxic relationship, and he doesn't belong with her...
"Nobody saw it coming, but before we knew it he was gone."
Therein lies the problem. Parents who hide their disagreements and frustrations with each other from their children generally feel it's the right thing to do.
However when a breakup/divorce occurs it's the equivalent of pulling the rug out from under what the children thought was a stable family. Had you known how unhappy they were as a couple you wouldn't have been "shocked".
Unfortunately there are some men who dislike their exes so much that they don't want to have to deal with them in anyway which causes them to turn their back on "her children".
Essentially that's (their perception). It's not about you but rather about (her). They don't want any reminders of her.
You said: "He is in a toxic relationship, and he doesn't belong with her..." And yet (he) isn't leaving (her)!
(No one is "stuck" with anyone. He's proven that!)
One thing that is certain about life is it's unpredictable.
You may end up having a relationship with father several years from now. There's a couple of things you should keep in mind.
A divorce is a public admission that a mistake was made in the mate selection process. One or both people felt their life would be better without the other in it. Human beings make mistakes!
Generally speaking there are 3 basic reasons why couples get divorced.
1. They chose the wrong mate. (Discovered they're incompatible in too many areas.)
2. Someone committed a "deal breaker" in the eyes of the other. (cheating/abuse..etc)
3. They fell out of love over time. (We're either "growing together" or "growing apart")
Note: None of the above have anything to do with the children.
The biggest mistake your parents made was giving you the illusion that they were happy. As I stated it's no wonder you would develop "trust issues". Therefore you "question" whether things are as they "appear to be" in your own relationships.
This can also be the cause of having "abandonment issues" which can lead to pushing someone away before they have a chance to "disappoint you". The reality is we all have our own "baggage".
Some people have the courage to "work on themselves" while others do not.
When we change our circumstances change.
Life is a (personal) journey! Don't let your parent's divorce ruin (your) life.
by These eyes 21 months ago
Why do men hurt the person they love? If they love a woman why they do crazy things?I have a good relationship with this man and he just admit that he was having an affair that he wants to continue seing that person. I never see this coming since everything was so great with us. We never have a big...
by ShanteD 4 months ago
Can you really have a relationship with someone you don't trust.You can love them and want your relationship to work but if you don't trust them can it? Do you give it time and hope for the best?
by Helen Murphy Howell 6 years ago
The internet seems to be getting flooded with new technology such as Android Tracking App and so on. This software basically allows parents to track and view all their kids messages on their mobiles etc - without the kids knowing anything about it! Now, while I do concede that for safety reasons...
by Motherhood Trials 4 months ago
What would you do or advise a friend to do if they had NO idea that their spouse had a tiny portable spy cam and was caught with it by one of their kids? (spouses step child). When confronted he tried to deny and hide it but when that failed,He said he had it to see what the kids were doing . 2 are...
by Lisa Brown 10 months ago
How can you say you really love someone if you don't trust them?
by Time2Spare 4 years ago
Who do you trust the most in your life? And why?
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