Why does my husband avoid me since my mom died ?

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Crissy franksposted 8 months ago
Why does my husband avoid me since my mom died ?

My mother died 5 months ago and I've needed him more then ever and he finds anyway to avoid me! Why r we falling apart over this
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dashingscorpioposted 8 months ago
Ask him.
Some people would rather pull away than risk saying and doing the wrong thing. Not everyone is comfortable dealing with crisis.
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Besarienposted 8 months ago
Hello Crissy,

First off, I have complete empathy for you. Losing a mother is never what you think it will be, no matter how old you are or she was, no matter whether you were close or polar opposites, no matter if she were desperately ill or taken far too soon. I am sorry for your loss. I am also sorry you don't have the support that you need.

I agree with dashing that you should talk to him. I suspect that he might think that the best thing he can do is to give you space to mourn. Perhaps in your situation that is exactly what he would need. Everyone mourns differently though. Perhaps letting him know what you need will adjust his response.

Another possibility that occurs to me is that he feels uncomfortable in the role you expect him to take. Perhaps being nurturing just isn't in his emotional makeup. In that case, ask him to be strong. Find the hugs and the heart to heart talks from a best friend or another family member. You might consider joining a support group to be around others going through something similar and those who have been there and are willing to listen.

When my own mother passed, I found a lot of solace volunteering at a charity that was close to my heart. Keeping busy, feeling useful, and like what I was doing mattered- that helped me during the worst of the devastation I was feeling. Plus I knew my mother would approve and be proud that I marked her passing with good works. You are in my prayers.
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