When you're on a break..

Jump to Last Post 1-15 of 15 discussions (26 posts)
  1. NewYorker profile image59
    NewYorkerposted 8 years ago

    Okay. So my girlfriend and I decided on Tuesday that we would take a break until next Monday to take a time for ourselves and think about the relationship (aka get hammered and ask random people for advice). But since Tuesday we have been texting each other like crazy and talk on the phone for well.. an hour today. Is that how a break works? Isn't it like.. No talking or meeting? Or is texting okay? How the hell does this work?

    1. prettydarkhorse profile image63
      prettydarkhorseposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      talk eye to eye hehe, and sort it out, admit what you can still do, and what she can do for the relationship

    2. falcon64 profile image64
      falcon64posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      aha....cool off.

      1. NewYorker profile image59
        NewYorkerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Excuse me?

        1. falcon64 profile image64
          falcon64posted 8 years agoin reply to this

          ya...why not? In order that both of you has a time to think.

          1. NewYorker profile image59
            NewYorkerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            Oh, I'm sorry. I took it the wrong way. Yeah, I'm trying to cool off. Except this little thing called work keeps disturbing the peace I'm trying to get.

  2. profile image0
    Justine76posted 8 years ago

    i have no clue what taking a break means. If you have problems to sort, its best done with open, caring, honest communication.

  3. irishsoul28 profile image51
    irishsoul28posted 8 years ago

    It really depends the reason on why you are on a break for

  4. NewYorker profile image59
    NewYorkerposted 8 years ago

    Apparently, I'm not emotionally available and spend too much time at work (I'm a resident and sometimes have to work up to 36 hour shifts). And she can be kind of a bitch, she lies to me alot and goes behind my back alot. Which she said she could TRY to work on. And she hates how I always psychologically diagnose her. Really weird and complicated situation. Need to know the whole story to be able to be completely able to judge.

    1. profile image0
      Justine76posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      hmm....still, if you cant talk about it, may be time to move on...

    2. profile image0
      HeSaidSheSaidposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      You do have to decide what a "break" means when you do it.  I think it involves defining what are deal breakers for you and for her and then applying them rationally.  You've identified a couple above that could qualify...

  5. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    I am not a big fan of 'Breaks' I honestly think that if you have to have a break from each other it is perhasp time to be honest with each other....its not easy...but it has to be done.....I have been there....if I was with someone whom I needed a break from....I would make it permanent...life is too short.....and throw the phone in that big river....

  6. Colebabie profile image58
    Colebabieposted 8 years ago

    I don't believe in breaks for my personal relationship. I guess I can understand why other couples decide to do so.

    It depends on what you decided as being the break. If you are looking to think about the relationship, your life, and determine whether or not the relationship is worth fighting for... that is probably easier with less contact. However, that is difficult especially since it is uncertain and what point in time you will begin talking again and either break up, or get back together.

    In your case, you have set a day. Which is good I guess. Either way, I find it much easier to have one of those long drawn out conversations that last for hours and come to an understanding versus going on a break. But that is just what has worked for my relationship.

    Furthermore, if you have the type of relationship where having a conversation about your feelings just is impossible (either you yell, don't listen to one another, is completely one-sided, etc.) then maybe the relationship isn't worth it. You have to have the respect to listen to one another and work through your feelings.

  7. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Did you say lies, out out out, suitcase, out I tell you out, I have had liars, not worth the time or effort, you work hard you dont need this crap...out.....

  8. alexandriaruthk profile image74
    alexandriaruthkposted 8 years ago

    if she is lying, you can talk about it, but that is not good,  she been lying for how long?, are there trust issues? maybe this has been going on for longer time period?

    you have a residency and she should understand that, beyond that, there is nothing more to talk about, if she cant understand your situation???

  9. irishsoul28 profile image51
    irishsoul28posted 8 years ago

    I personally dont think you should put a time limit on your break time, it puts too much pressure on the relationship where pressure obviously lays. Also i think you both are in a routine where you both text each other alot ( you working alot ) and that also needs to be part of the break rule. You both need to be serious about it or this "taking a break" just wont work and a waste of time, take yourselves out of all routine you both have been accustomed to as a couple, take time to think and have time to yourself then when you BOTH feel ready to meet, go to a coffee shop and discuss as adults where you go as a couple from there.

    You both sound quite young, how long have you both been together?

    1. NewYorker profile image59
      NewYorkerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm 27 and we've been going out for 2 years on Monday.

      I have no idea what I'm supposed to do .. That's why I sought help from you guys.

      She doesn't get that I have to work alot to become a fully licensed clinical psychiatrist, because she's in an 8 - 4 job as a travel agent.

      Well, she does lie to me about like when she goes to parties or something like that, she doesn't take me with her and usually tells me she's working overtime or she's doing something with her friends or something like that. It's frustrating actually. And I found out the other day she had been talking to her ex for 7 months behind my back and he had no idea she's in a relationship.

      It's frustrating actually..

      1. falcon64 profile image64
        falcon64posted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Sorry to hear...I know now the whole story. Your trying to work out everything. Since this coming Monday is your 2nd year anniversary. Hope you can work it out! Good luck...

  10. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    sorry, Irishsoul, but lies, not on...out she goes..yep watch your head on the step...by now...

    1. irishsoul28 profile image51
      irishsoul28posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Well we have no idea why she lies or if she does so i guess im doing my best to be down the line abit more.....although lies are a no no and cheating grrrr

  11. alexandriaruthk profile image74
    alexandriaruthkposted 8 years ago

    hope you can sort it out, must be difficult at your end because you are tired physically from residency and at the same emotionally too,

    give yourself a break, a day or two

  12. profile image44
    Bronnersposted 8 years ago

    I hate to say it but lying should probably be the breaking point in a relationship. At least chronic lying should be. Besides if she cannot handle that you work so much then she is not able to understand/deal with your line of work. This is something that could be a constant strain on you both.

    I applaud you on your choice of work, but not all people's line of work will allow for a relationship with all people. Perhaps it's time to find someone who is more capable of dealing with it. Perhaps just wait until the residency is over (though I'm not one to talk about that since I've been in college since after having kids and a wife).

    I'll say this, only you know if it's worth it or not and so you must decide for yourself. I just know that I wouldn't tolerate chronic lies. Hey, it seems she hasn't matured yet since she's sneaking out to parties like she was a teenager.

  13. yenajeon profile image81
    yenajeonposted 8 years ago

    Personally I've always thought of a break as a legitimate mental, emotional and physical break. You need time away from eachother to realize and think without their opinions interfering. !

    So either you need the break and are not executing it properly, or maybe you guys don't really need or want this break!

  14. efeguy profile image43
    efeguyposted 8 years ago

    to me you are loving yourselves the more,so if there is any problem,sort it out because both of you are still in love.

  15. NewYorker profile image59
    NewYorkerposted 8 years ago

    Thank you all so much for the support.

    We met up and discussed everything, but the break is still on and we're going to meet up for a nice dinner and a movie on Monday, since we both got time off at work, and will be discussing the future of the relationship on Tuesday.

    Again, thank you all so much. I, honestly, got more support from you guys than my parents who told me to quit whining and take it like a man.

    1. Black Lilly profile image61
      Black Lillyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I think your parents were right - sorry...
      Lies and talking to an ex - it's only the question of time when it will turn into cheating on you big time.
      If you have the courage - leave her. Straight away. Otherwise it will hurt you a lot in the nearest future.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)