http://tvnz.co.nz/entertainment-news/he … on-3469797
Apparently Hugh Heffner doesn't think so. He calls it an obsession! No sh it! Aren't we all obsessed with sex? It's just that all of us don't act on our obsession. Hef claims people cheat because they think they can get away with it. I ain't buying that! People cheat because they're obsessed and they act on it without thinking about the consequences.
I'm not sure if it is a true disease or not, but I just read an article about this woman who claims that after she hurt a nerve while falling on a wii fit board, she now is a sex addict.
What's that? Oh you prefer sheep? Yeah that might be classified as a problem.
But this is for you anyway.
I know her too Greek one. She was stolen from an Aberdeen leisure centre
you'd have to be a sex addict to wanna roll with that skanky lookin' ho.
seriously though i agree with Brenda. no it is not an illness or an uncontrollable urge.
is there no accountability these days? can people not stand up and admit that they are amoral pigs?
rant over. and i have no desire to debate this with anyone so save your breath.
I totally hear you, Cosette, and you're absolutely correct, many many people like to "create diagnoses" or "get diagnosed" so that they do not have to take responsibility for their behavior.
At the same time, brain chemistry (as I have come to understand) is incredibly complex and very powerful as well. I cannot help but wonder if some people are truly unable to to manage these urges, control the impulse...something. I've met people with problems in these areas who GENUINELY want to change, and they have successes...and sometimes they miss the mark. And some never hit it.
*sigh* It seems all so very complicated to me at times.
I also wonder how much society creates an impetus for what we call "addiction."
I also, cannot discount the thoughts of those who say that it's psychological. Some people just seem to feel a need to punish and degrade themselves. Others seem to feel that the only way they are valuable is if someone is having sex with them. I really can't imagine what it would be like to feel that way...to be subject to such thoughts and ideas...And I can't say I'd be able to "be moral" if I did feel that way.
I certainly am not trying to argue or debate with you. I'm just seriously thinking about the issue and throwing thoughts out there.
You are totally correct in your suspicion. Even argumentative-ness and sadness are addictions to the nuero-chemicals that inspire them.
The problem with depressed people is that they have been so sad for such a long time, the receptors have retracted (or wilted) and are unable to receive happy chemicals. So it is very important that a child learns how to be happy as a habit so as not to form a brain that is addicted to sadness.
There is nothing more important than providing a child sources of joy and love so that his ability to receive the nuero-chemicals are strengthened. It becomes a habit. Love drugs such as PEA and Oxytocin are inspired upon birth.
Addicts usually look for alternative sources of happy drugs because they have not "learned" to seek it from healthy activities. As a matter of fact even if they engage in healthy activities, they might not get the same kick as a neuro-typical person would.
(For those who require further reading, just contact me and i will email my sources)
So...let's say a child didn't "learn happy habits" so to speak...are they pre-destined to become an addict? If they *do* become an addict, what can then be done about it? Can the "broken" or wilted parts be helped?
Nobody is actually "predestined" because the brain is plastic. It will be harder for those children to gravitate towards habits that bring them joy. This happens even as early as the fetal stage. It is called genomic imprinting.
It just harder for a person given these cards to feel happy. But happy juice receptors can be courted back into growing. Becoming aware that the urges are addictions that are biological, you take away the guilt from failing and are able to find ways to tackle the biological problems.
There is nothing more discouraging to psychological health than telling a person she has failed. It is better to make it a task with a checklist so that they can objectively avoid triggers of addiction.
It takes about 21 days to form a new habit. Some alcoholics replace their substance addiction to religious preoccupation. Some sex addicts get into extreme sports. Replacing negative addictions with more positive one is usually what works.
Many smokers become marathon addicts, which is for me a positive turn.
A shrink would be able to get down and dirty with this. I am just a writer with too much research debris in my head.
pre-destined? no way. Plenty of people go through crap without repeating it. BUT some peopel are so hurt
broken parts "fixed"? depends on the individual. I firmly believe a person CAN help themselves, but they have to do it. No one can do it for them.
Listen, we all like sex....we all like even the idea of sex...it makes us smile, that's a good thing...It isn't fun to be cheated on, to love someone and trust them and find them untrue to you...I just really don't know...
I have no desire to debate this with you either cosette. I agree with you completely. I think people need to practice more self-control and personal responsibility in their lives. However, true obsession is a disorder and certain behaviors like viewing porn can become addictive.
When we label it as a disease, it gives us an excuse for our behavior. "It is not my fault because it is disease."
I think a healthy sexual appetite is a good thing. The problem is that sex is not truely sex. In many males, it is from bragging. It is an ego enhancement.
How many women have you had? How often do you have sex?
These are common questions that men ask each other. I beleive that the quality as well as love two people express when making love is so much more important than frequency or anything else. For many sex is just a 2 minute act. If they are getting it then they are normal.
I dont think it is an addicition for most people either (there are some though who would fall into this catagory). I beleive it is sociological behavior which is learned. I think both men and women now practice in this behavior.
People say the sexual hormones cause this behavior. I completely disagree. Well lets look at ole Heff.........His sexual peak left him 59 years ago. So what is his motivation now? It isnt love. It really is not a need. It is living up to the image he created for himself. It is a testiment in his mind to his varility. Thats it.
It is a need to breed. I need to breed. I need to screw, and procreate with the opposite sex. The thought of men only having one woman, goes against the very mentality of how we were built. It is in the need. I need to spread my sperm into as many women as possible. I need to fight for them, and keep them in my herd. Its primal. Clear enough?
only if it is about having sex with inanimate objects like the Eiffel Tower or animals and such.
Agreed. It's just another lame excuse to say "it's not my fault".
really? how many people do you know who have an addiction to sex, or have been hurt by someone addicted to sex?
I just saw the movie Love Sick based on the book by Sue Silverman it gave an interesting perspective on this issue.
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Sick-Journey … 0393019578
My husband and I are in therapy for this very thing. He's addicted to internet porn and the thrill he gets from the attention women give him in chat rooms, etc. He's also a compulsive cheater and was very much in denial about it all. Much of his cheating had nothing to do with other women being sexier or more attractive or any of the reasons most people would think of as why men cheat. He cheated because it was a compulsion, like people with OCD who wash their hands compulsively, or hoarders who can't bring themselves to throw anything out, even when they have accumulated so much junk they can no longer get through the front door of their own house. His need for sex is a psychological disorder. Sexual addictions are really much more complicated than most people think.
Well when we first got married, at 19, I was like a kid in a candy store. I could see how you could get carried away, I did. I also believe thats between you and your wife. Fortunately my wife was the voice of reason otherwise we wouldn't have gotten anything done!
If you go outside of your marraige and infect your relationship you should naturally be prepared to lose that relationship. I doubt sex is an addiction, I do believe some people are self-serving twits!
with all do respect, ALL YOUNG HEALTHY MEN are sex addicts. hell, ill admit i'm a bonafide sex addict. lol. the only reason i don't act on it because most women always blow me off. lol.
did i forget to mention when i say, "women usually blow me off", I mean it as in they tell me to get lost or they ignore me, and not the sexual reference. which i forgot that expression could've been misconstrued as. lol.
Well, at least that much must be satisfying for you.
did i forget to mention when i say, "women usually blow me off", I mean it as in they tell me to get lost or they ignore me, and not the sexual reference. which i forgot that expression could've been misconstrued as. lol. therefore, i doubt seriously that makes any difference. lol. however, thanks though.
sex is an addiction (not a disease per se) when you can't control your urges and seek out sex and it causes problems in your life- marriage, job, relationships etc. I believe that some people are obsessive (a very real psychological ailment) and sex may just be one of their addictions. There are ways to treat this addiction, just like quitting cigarrettes - it can be done, but you need help to do it.
Yeah I think that's the official definition, well, in order to be classified as a psychological problem or illness. Sex addiction is only an illness if it is causing the addict or others around the addict problems.
If you can handle it and control yourself then it isn't an illness as recognized by the psychiatric association.
It's a psychological illness. When you want to have sex with everything that only means you desire to find yourself and you're looking and searching for it in other people.
Sex Addiction means you have lost your concept of self, and so you need to stop all sexual activity and focus on what it is about you that you are not looking at and doing something about. What pain do you not want see?
As I understand it, "sex addiction" is not yet an "acceptable diagnosis" amongst medical and mental health professionals, although it is on the horizon.
It would NOT be considered a disease (using the medical model's definition of a disease), instead it would be considered a disorder.
The DSM defines a disorder as symptoms + impairment. So if someone has the symptoms and those symptoms are causing impairment, they have a disorder. This doesn't mean it's NOT a habit, this doesn't mean someone's will can't affect it...it merely means that it's causing problems with someone's life and it's not caused by a bacteria, virus, etc.
ETA: Some of the confusion may stem from the idea of alcoholism being a "disease." I urge everyone to consider that there are multiple models of addiction, and the disease model is only one of them.
Lets throw this in the mix.
With almost all addictions recovery involves abstinance.Ie alcohol,drugs cigarettes.
So does the poor sex addict have to abstain and if so is self relief ok?
in the case of alcoholism, the problem is the more you drink alcohol the more your body craves it. The blood loos for its habitual consistency. If you have it in your bloodstream, anytime it goes low you will crave it, until it gets used to having other substances in your bloodstream. So that needs medical attention.
Sex addiction however is more like a tic. An impulse that you can't control. Again, when your body does something repetitively to achieve relief for pain. Everytime that pain resurfaces, the initial relief agent that you used is what you'll crave for. SO to cure the sex addiction, you must get to the psychological root. What pain is it trying to alleviate.
It looks like my attempt at humour failed.
I am an alcoholic so fully understand my addiction which has many pyschological problems associated with it
This is a good point. However, there *are* certain chemicals, hormones, and things (you probably know more about this than I do, honestly) that come with sex...is it possible that the sex addict is really sort of addicted to those things?? Until, as you said, other substances get into the bloodstream? Food for thought, maybe.
Well, if we're going to be technical about it, yes there are neurochemicals involved in sex addiction. Naturally they are craving some endorphins that they get by having sex with stranger after stranger.
But getting endorphins from one activity is a malaise, particularly if the person is destroying his relationships to get to those endorphins.
While I am all for accountability, in truth all diseases (and I'm sure I'm going to get pummeled by saying this) are born out of diseases of the mind (and I can hear it coming, what about genetics and so and so forth...I assure you there are answers to that on the neurological/hormonal even spiritual level).
So when somebody who ate too much sugar and protein gets diabetes, do you blame that person? The answer is no. You help them. You understand that they cannot help themselves. The condition is past choice, hence the need for external intervention.
Eating too much sugar is an addiction as well, but medicines are there to help people cope with the sugar cravings.
It's different from being physically addicted to a substance. It's psychological.
I don't believe sex addiction is a disease. I think it's an addiction.l
Some people have higher levels of sexual hormones than others, simple as that. You can't have sex all the time or have the desire to do such, without high libido. It is just that some people are more blatant about it than other "closet-freaks"... Geez!
Okay, Here is a headline from the future!!
Beautiful wife with 'horny' husband takes him to the doctor and begs for a prescription for the latest Sex Addiction deterrant pill!
hmm. just into posting and not reading other opinions tonight! I feel us "Americans" came up with the word addictition and created an aweful craze.. NOW people are addicted to everything..
Tell me, is a peson addictrd to sex if they masterbate 15 times by themselves a day... or do they need a partner..
Bloody hell, we have internet addicts, sex adicts , drug addicts..
Tell me something, when you are constantly thinking about addictive behavour... How do you feel?? and do you in tern feel more compelled to what you are thinking of??
It is ALL in our minds.. People need to taked accountability for themselves!
And we are blaming the governments for our life when we have all these threads whining about our loss of control!!!
get bloody real!
We need to be accountable whether I would like to masterbate 100 times or have sex that many times a day OR not!
this thread is the perfect anti-dote for oversexed yearning- ick! I don't even want to get near my genitals!
Obviously sex cannot be a disease, as it's a trait we are born with to reproduce. I think the question answered itself. It's an addiction.
I feel it is a combo act.. to much of anything that is good or that gives and individual a "High" feeling is/or can be addicting to the mind, the body and soul.. To me these are three different entities in which are aroused and/or please when engaging in a sexual act..when all three are satisfied the individual will start craving this feeling more. If it is with the person partner the is move the level of intimacy to a satisfying level for both, if one or the other is having issues in other departments they will start seeking this "High" a stay..
I don't think that sex addiction is a disease however I believe that it is a sign of an underlying condition, a problem that has been avoided instead of being solved, kinda like alcoholism or smoking.
Any thing in excessive amount surely will cause damage to your health.Control is must over such habits.Learn new things and focus on your hobbies.
Song Title: What did I do
Subject: R& B song about infidelity. The lyrics also address the new tinsel town bogus "sex addict" cop-out. Video is the lyric sheet synchronized to the audio recording.
Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZp8u_vGgYo
I don't want to sound preachy, I know sexual desire is natural and young people would find out and experiment themselves without seeing it elsewhere, but I believe the way it is broadcast in the media and we constantly see models and superstars dressed half naked to extremes encourages the wrong outlook on life.
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