What are some practical things you do to control your anger?
While anger is a normal emotion, it could be destructive if allowed to get out of control. What helpful steps do you take to manage your anger?
"Anger is the (mask) that Hurt wears".
I'm not sure who said that but it's true. When we get angry it's because we feel someone has done us wrong, disrespected us, or lied to us. We want to hurt them back, set them straight, scare them.
We often hear that the two responses to (danger) are "fight" or 'flight". Well the two responses to being (hurt) are "yell" or "tell".
Most of us believe if we explode, (yell), and curse it's more effective than (telling) the other person how they made us (feel). Oftentimes yelling is generally matched with yelling as the other person becomes defensive where as someone calmly looking a person in the eye and stating how hurt, betrayed, or disappointed they are by their actions is more likely to generate a sincere apology.
If you feel it's really (them) and not (you) that stirs up the drama the easy thing to do is remove "toxic people" from your inner circle. You get to (choose) who (you) spend your time with. Avoid the drama.
Now on the other hand if you believe (you) are an irrational person then it would be worthwhile to seek anger management therapy. Maybe there is some deep rooted cause for your anger that dates back to childhood. You are responsible for your own happiness.
"Work harder on yourself than you do on your job"
Wow! I love that quote and it has a ring of truth to it. Thanks for responding dashingscorpio.
To channel anger, I just try to walk away from the situation, basically cool down by going for a walk, or talking to someone else about the problem. Another method, avoid a situation completely, especially if I know it will cause anger or rage.
Thanks for your response luvtoowrite.
I cannot say I never lose my temper. That would be far from the truth. But what I try to do and it works quite often is just to keep quiet and count. Try to go over what has been said that has made you angry and see if there is some truth in it.
There are many times people become angry because they are defensive. It is important to see if what is really making you angry is that there is some truth to what the other person is saying and it has hit too close too home.
I find that when I do this I can let things go more easily and calm down. Walking away for a moment helps as well. Just make sure you let the other person know that you need to cool down for a moment so that you can think about what is being said and then come back to it calmer.
My mom always told me write everything on paper that I'm angry about. If it's a certain person, my job or anything that I need to get out of my system and spare nothing you feel. Then read it and rip it up and before throwing it away immerse it in water. Now the anger is a little more under control, you can think about the best approach in handling it, I also pray or read the Bible.
Thanks for responding Lee Lee 513, praying and reading the Bible are very useful.
I try to smile and think of things that make me happy.
Thanks Bubblegum Jones, smiling relaxes the muscles and eases the tension.
LISTEN TO MUSIC,WRITE DOWN MY FEELINGS AND YUP I EVEN DANCE TO LET MY FRUSTRATION OUT
Thanks Shraddha, listening to music a and journalling help me too.
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