I did as you asked.
Here was my posted comment.
Hey Info Bucket, I'll give it a shot, considering you asked.
Excuse me, kind sir, you seem to be having a problem, for which, I think I can put a little perspective on. However, You are more than likely not going to enjoy my advice, but I'm going to give it anyways, because I told InfoBucket I would attempt it.
Now, first off...stop being so selfish and try using a bit of compassion for her, instead of thinking about yourself. You hounding her, because you feel differently toward her is not going to help the situation and you are likely to get opposite results as to what you want.
It might be better if you let her decide things for herself, but be her friend. If you find yourself too big for a friendship, then you are too ignorant for a relationship, and it is apparently obvious to her as it stands. Hence, why she does not want you as her boyfriend.
Be her friend, learn to understand and care about what is on her mind, what happens to her be there for her. Or better yet, look up the definition of friendship?
That's about it.
That's all I gave him.
Hi Info Bucket, I answered him too, and this is what I said:
"Sorry mate, but as a woman myself who has been through all this in her past (more than once), I am afraid if she doesn't feel the same way for you as you do for her, nothing will change her mind, and I mean NOTHING. Your only slight chance is to leave her well alone and back off with the pressure in the hope that if she wasn't just being diplomatic when she said she didn't want a relationship right now but might consider you in the future, then your absence might give her a chance to miss you and want you in her life on a more serious basis. I wouldn't bank on this working if she was being simply considerate of your feelings though and really wanted to tell you that she just doesn't think of you in 'that' way, but if she was being honest it is your best chance.
I had a friend back in the 1980's who spent a couple of years trying to be my boyfriend/lover etc, but I just didn't feel the same way, so it never happened. Having said that we are still friends to this day, even though periodically we haven't seen each other for many years at a time.
Keep your chin up, I too have had this kind of obsessive love/need for certain people in my own past. On the plus side, whether it never happened, or it happened but the relationship later failed, I always ended up better off in the long run, (with the exception of when my 1st Husband died and my next partner was an arseh*le ex of mine). Your longing for this girl will go away when you meet a girl who is even more appealing to you, and trust me, there are tens of thousands of partners you would fall in love with in the world, (otherwise, if there were only one, the odds would be we would never meet them). It is merely a matter of keeping a lookout for the one who wants you as much as you want them, why settle for being second choice for someone who really isn't that bothered about being with you anyway?"
Not sure he will listen though, as we all know, love is blind and logic and reason frequently fly out of the window in such situations.
Thanx Cags and Misty...... Hope these will help him. Hubbers are always willing to help, its very supportive people here.
Here's my posted comment as well - an example from my own life along the way....
You should be yourself and let things develop as they will - instant gratification in a relationship sometimes doesn't happen but by being a friend over time, sometimes things evolve.
You just never know - I am a person who believes in the impossible and I also believe in love. I also believe if it's meant to be, it will be.
I think it's really nice how hubbers post a link to help a newbie hubber out in their time of need.
It's a very supportive community
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