Do you believe in "The One"?

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   WryLiltposted 13 years ago

   Some people claim that each person has their perfect match - do you believe that?

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      Joe Badtoeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      if by one you mean getting in wrong a thousand times whilst still looking.
      
      Yes :-)
      
      alternatively Paris Hilton has a mirror.

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         skyfireposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         

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      waynetposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Oh I thought you was on about that quite good Jet Li film for a second....
      
      I do believe in the one, because I'm living with my wife who we have had our ups and downs with, but we love each other to bits and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else....been together for nearly 12 years now and she's put up with me for this long!!

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      TamCorposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I believe...I met and married mine within two months of our first date...
      
      Next week, we celebrate our 22nd anniversary!!!
      
      Like Waynet said--I couldn't even imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else by my hubby...he is wonderful...

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         WryLiltposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Good to know straight away, eh?

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      Pearldiverposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Ooooooooooooooo Yes!!
      You Know... I asked my mother this exact question 43 years ago and she said "No!!"
      - I still don't believe her... I think patience is important!
      I'm sure that I'll meet a good looking match like me soon...

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      Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      funny, I just asked pretty much the same question, wondering where this idea came from - christianity? 
      No, I believe this concept is a myth.  I believe a person has several suitable 'matches' - and they can be different in personality or looks

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   thooghunposted 13 years ago

   One of my favorite quotes about love is:
   
   "Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly"
   
   I don't believe in "the one", however, I find that with time you can achieve a kind of perfection

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   saleheensblogposted 13 years ago

   I do believe

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   Invisiblestatsposted 13 years ago

   I def believe in "the one"
   
   but you will def have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince/princess

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      WryLiltposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Love how frogdropping posted right below this.

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   frogdroppingposted 13 years ago

   I don't know that there's a perfect match for all. I do believe it's possible to meet a person that perfectly suits you, your personality, meets your needs etc. With luck, maybe a dash of hope and a good dose of divine aggravation
   
   My partner in [frog]slime is perfect for me. Am I perfect for him? I believe so, though he once said that no other had ever giving him so many headaches

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   Rishy Richposted 13 years ago

   Honestly, i dont think theres a perfect match for everyone. Given the fact that are too many different people who will even hardly get a close match!
   
   There were no perfect match for Genghis khan who thought killing the enemy & sleeping with their women is a great achievement & killed millions of people in order to do so. There were no perfect match for Alexander, Hitler, Mohammed & many more because of their uniqueness & circumstances. The unique & different u turn out, the harder it is for u to find a match.
   
   Other than that, you must recognize that Everything is Relative in this world & nothing is Absolute. i.e. You r a easy going, simple & average girl. You met a guy who understands u, loves u, cares for u & just like u...you realize that he is the one & get married. Then after a couple of months u met even a better match or realize ur Husband USED TO BE a good match but NOT ANYMORE. EVERYTHING CHANGES OVER TIME, INCLUDING EMOTIONS.

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      WryLiltposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What about relationships that don't change over time - both good and bad ones?

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         Rishy Richposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Its not true that relationships dont change over time. May be they are still together, May be they still love each other & they cant live without each other...but that doesnt mean the relationship hasnt been changed at all. The feelings of love & the need for physical intimacy of the first few months wont be the same after 10 years. Sometimes your love & feelings for him/her deepens over time, sometimes u lose it as time passes. It never stays exactly the same.
         
         Now if u ask how long term or life time relationship works, then my answer would be different. In a life time relationship a couple who are pretty well compatible to be with each other, develops a system of interdependency & information sharing process over time. Overtime  they develops certain habits, tastes & memories together which turn out so unique only to them that it becomes impossible for them to create similar memories with other people. Thus, rather looking for substitutes  they prefer to live with each other.

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            EmpressFelicityposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Actually, you might have something here.  Shared jokes, catch phrases, experiences etc.

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               Rishy Richposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               yeah dats wat I meant.

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   EmpressFelicityposted 13 years ago

   I used to believe in "the one".  Now with age and cynicism, I'd say it's more a case of "the one who's a pretty good match where it matters, and feels the same way about me".  Most people have more than one potential "pretty good match" IMO.

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      Aficionadaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This says it pretty well for me, and there's a lot about frogdropping's and Rishy Rich's posts that I agree with too.
      
      Believing in "The One" is a lovely, romantic concept, but I just don't believe it's real.  And I do worry that the people who think they must find The One to marry or live with will be setting themselves up for a lifetime of multiple divorces or splits.  That is, when they marry "The One" all starry-eyed and hopeful, and then eventually find out that person is after all human, they will likely believe that somehow they had been mistaken initially and that maybe this person was not The One after all.  So they divorce and start looking again for The One.  And the same thing will happen again. 
      
      They will somehow believe that their difficulty in adjusting to one another or working out everyday problems is a result of having made a mistake in their choice of mate, rather than the mistake of failing to develop the skills needed in living with and getting along with someone who is different from them.

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         EmpressFelicityposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Abso-freakin'-lutely.  Couldn't have put it better myself - I'm sure that people who marry umpteen times are doing it for exactly the reasons you state.  One example that springs to mind is that of Rod Stewart, who seems to have married the same blonde at least four times

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      Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      that pretty much sums up how I feel about it too.  I think those looking for "perfection" never find it

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   Kangaroo_Jaseposted 13 years ago

   No, not once have I ever believed there was a soul mate for me, or me being a girls soul mate for her.
   
   But I have had two bloody good lightening strikes

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years ago

   ..sure there is the 'one' for many...and best wishes to those that do...have been with the one '5' times now....it's all good!
   
   seriously...found my soulmate...but sometimes something/someone gets lost making it hard to live the rest of our lives together....or i should say life happens and sometimes gets in the way.

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      WryLiltposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      

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    Nikki.posted 13 years ago

    I usted to, but now having my doubt if the one even exist

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       ceciliabeltranposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       there is such a thing as the one, but you don't always end up with them. this person is transformative in a big way. If you haven't found the one, that only means you haven't really bothered to look for something inside you so bad, it starts appearing in front of you as a live person.

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          Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Cecilia, very well said! Those of us who have known a spiritual hunger have seen the one before us, in the form of a flesh and blood person. Whether that longing was reciprocated, or whether we ended up with The One, is another story altogether.
          
          But it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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             ceciliabeltranposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             said like someone who has been touched by "the mystical rose" as they call it in mythos. True..it is not at all about being with that person physically. These people stay with you and on your death bed, the name will be the last word heard from your lips.
             
             http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7bA6lo3 … re=related

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    Joe Badtoeposted 13 years ago

    or conversely you might have thought you have found the one only to find you're not the one they are looking for.
    
    It ain't easy....

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    Home Girlposted 13 years ago

    There is a little bit of a problem here. People change with time, sometimes considerably. Your partner might be perfect for you for starters but then you've changed but he is not willing to change, or even worse - changed into different direction! Where is the solution?  Start all over again? Kill your partner?
    Keep looking...

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       SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       ...i'm all for a 'hanging'!  LOL!....or a walk off the plank into the deep blue sea!

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    Ipeoneyposted 13 years ago

    I say, sometimes it's got to do with numbers.
    sometimes it's got to do with free will
    what else - got to do with times

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14. 86

    WryLiltposted 13 years ago

    So with the exception of ceciliabeltran, nearly everyone here believes that the one is more about:
    
    ►A person who is right for you at that point in your life.
    ►Someone who you grow to be comfortable with.
    ►An image that a person becomes too reliant on, tarnishing their current relationships.
    
    Sad that few people can even claim to have met 'the one' even if it didn't work out.
    
    I know of two people who both say they met 'the one'. They just both knew when they first met that person. The first one didn't work out, after more than five years, since both agreed that other circumstances would keep them apart - they met later in life and other things had happened. The other pair - well they still believe it and are happier with each other than they are with anyone else.
    
    So no one thinks that it's just possible that something mythical or scientific and beyond our understanding just makes some people complete and perfect matches, where both are willing to admit it?
    
    Maybe life sets us up for a single perfect match - but we are the ones who have to do the work?

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    No, I have never met Jet Li!

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    Aideenposted 13 years ago

    I think 'the one' is a complete Myth that we are sold by way of movies ect.  As young girls we are brought up to believe this myth and I think it sets you up for a lot of disappointment in later life.  I used to believe in it but age and experience has taught me otherwise.  Marriage and relationships are more about compromise even then you sometimes wonder what is the point of it.  Sorry for sounding so cynical but just newly married and the romantic veneer of it all is fading.

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       Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       no one actually tells about the reality of the fireworks wearing off after a while  - that's when a lot of relationships end.  Fortunately, we survived that phase, but up till then, I was totally naive

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          Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          It is important not to confuse true love with a relationship. A relationship, being a bargain of sorts, is bound to have its ups and downs.
          
          Love does not.

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             Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I think you're confusing true love (when someone weathers the ups and downs in a relationship) with infatuation (which is temporary and addictive)

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                Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Some "infatuations" last over twenty years. Some marriages collapse in a fraction of that time. All of life is temporary, but the feeling which is true love is capable of lasting much longer than the average relationship.
                
                Long term relationships can last, too, of course, but the feelings of the participants change with time, in most cases. People who value the relationship over the feeling make many compromises, and they reap many material rewards.
                
                The value of having a lasting relationship can be measured in economic terms. But the value of true love is greater still!

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                   TamCorposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   
                   
                   
                   I have to agree with Medora...I am still infatuated with my husband, and he with me.  As far as our love, there have never been ups and downs, it's always been a steady, solid feeling that has never changed...

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    thisisoliposted 13 years ago

    I was thinking the matrix
    
    I think everyone has the 'many' though, there are plenty of people out there for anyone!

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    Home Girlposted 13 years ago

    I don't think everybody is capable of true love, it's a gift, a precious one.

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