Is that normal for men to be separated (with separation agreement), not to be divorced, saying that for them it doesn't matter, and they can be in another relationship with whole devoted heart..
I've been "married" for 20 years, separated for 13 years. There is no love (other than a your my childrens father and my friend kind) there, it was gone when I walked out the door. We have had a friendship for our children sake ever since. We decided that the only reason for a divorce is when one of us is about to re-marry. Better for insurance purposes.
He has had a girlfriend ever since I left, I'm sure even before I left, and now she is throwing the divorce card at him. Well he doesn't WANT to marry her, so he is able to use the excuse...ooppps can't marry you since I'm still married. She recently called his bluff... get a divorce or I'm leaving. He said see ya and that was that. (I'm sure they will be back together again soon, since they've been on and off for years.) Anyway, I don't see it mattering.... I think it's a power struggle. UNLESS this man wants to marry you, then yeah of course he should get a divorce, if you have no plans of marrying, then why? I'm engaged (or as of a few days ago I was anyway) and he has no problem with me still being "married" - Its already been discussed and he agrees there's no point unless we are about to walk down the isle.
We're on different sides here. I cannot accept the fact that he is married and he even "hypothetically" can do "both" things, being married and living with me, saying that I am everything for him in this life. For his children (he has 2) he is still there, I am absolutely sure that his Ex mentioned it to them.. which is not making everything easier for us... But anyway... I stopped mentionning about his divorse and also about us being married, although before he was the first one who said "we can go to get married". I know only one thing... I cannot call myself "girlfriend"... I have never been in this position , with this "title"... maybe it is just a question of time...when I feel that I am done with being "girlfriend"..and in this case everything will go "right" way... husbands and wives and people who are not...
Thank you anyway for your comment ...I appreciate any of bad or good words, sharing any experince about "separation or divorse" matter
There are also women who engage in extra-marital affairs while separated. Separation is no excuse for extra-marital affairs!
Separations are for many different reasons but have something in common - they're still married! Seeing another woman would still be considered cheating on their wives.
and i don't understand, why two people being separated stil don't want (at least one of them) to initiate a divorce... neither him or her... you understand that i have real situation here...
whatever the reason - if you are neither party, it's none of your business. the two of them need to work out their own issues without interference.
yep, none of my business, but he is living with me, and I don't feel comfortable tobe with married man and all his words that "i am done with that marrige, for me it is cut" - i just cannot get it.. why not to finalize divorce..
Does Not mean is lying.
Can be a number of reasons....why don't you make a Hub on this as you have not written any as of yet.
Anyway - the 2 biggest reasons IMO are
#1 - money - both are afraid of losing what they have.
#2 - shame - do not feel like being dragged through court and air their *dirty laundry*
I think those are the two main reasons...of course unless..the obvious - they still love one another.
Yes, you are right in what you say, it doesn't mean they are lying! I have been with my partner now for 18yrs, we have an 8yr old son together and built a life together, but..... he still hasn't done that final piece of this jigsaw and filed for a divorce!! The ex still lives in there original house with their daughters 22yr old and 25yr old. We always talk about getting married even our little boy wants to be paige boy, but I think it's all down to the selling of that house they live in, even though he has said the sale of the property would be all hers to do whatever she wants with.
So yes I am very frustrated as to me it seems quite straight forward.....close that door and lets move on as they say!!! But it does almost feel as though I'm plodding along because it's now become habit and all of us are just taking it for granted it's going to carry on like this for ever! So, that's why now I have found many sites that make it easier and less stressfull for men who cannot be stressed with divorce proceedures, especially if it's only the final decree to sign!!
In some countries, taxes matter a lot.
Married people fill out one common form and have a right to tax reductions.
After they've divorced, each one will fill his own form and be taxed like a single person.
This effect is even heavier if (eventually) their children have attained majority.
Anyway, even a married person can "devote his heart" to whatever or whoever. Noting to do with family status.
And they'll divorce just before marrying again.
In New Zealand we have to have at least two years of separation before divorce proceedings can begin.
And it is a no blame scenario here. So have your cake and eat it! My 'separated' wife certainly has!
Separated or Divorced ! There are some good hearted men/women who are loving, caring, compassionate, good providers for many years without marrying the person they are in love with. While enjoying the life of marriage they are separated not divorced from a previous relationship. It is an emotional situation for everyone involved, including children. The situation is even worse if this information is not disclosed before beginning a new family. As time passes, we believe that it will not matter any longer. But, at times, for many of us the pain snowballs until we feel like we are going to die. We become stuck trying to protect a family that we seem not to be a part of.
Just did a hub regarding issues of seperation and divorce. There is no difference Biblically according to the book I review there. I'd suggest that seperation, except for a SHORT agreed upon time, IS divorce.
Comments to Alenushka:
Hubs: 0
Followers: 1Posted 2 months ago
and i don't understand, why two people being separated stil don't want (at least one of them) to initiate a divorce... neither him or her... you understand that i have real situation here...
Reply to your comments is that I have been married twice and now at my 60's I can look back and see why a male would say he isn't ready for a divorce.........usually he doesn't want to have to pay for the problem.
To me a "separation"is when a person is undecided whether he/she is ready to give up on the relationship.
"divorce" is where both of them knows it is over and there is no other recourse except to let go and move on!
by lambservant 12 years ago
Why is it that when couples break-up or divorce, suddenly they are mean, vindictive, and retaliatory towards each other.They once loved each other passionately and never would have imagined they would behave like that.
by Fellow Mumbaite 13 years ago
Is it not possible for a husband and wife to stay as friends after divorce? What would be your say in this?
by RealityTalk 7 years ago
Why do so many marriages end in divorceI am curious to hear from those who have gone through a divorce themselves. Why did you divorce your spouse? Why did your spouse divorce you? Do you even know? If the desire for divorce was one-sided, do you as the divorced spouse...
by kirstenblog 15 years ago
Marriages hit rough spots, sometimes long ones too. Put two separate individuals in an intimate relationship and arguments/fights are normal, eventually, even if the love is still strong. The frequency of arguments may increase gradually, or the length of arguments will increase. A person...
by Lady_E 7 years ago
If a person has divorced 3 times, would you conclude that the person has an underlying problem?
by Omar Lewis 12 years ago
Does marriage even matter anymore?With the divorce rate continually increasing year after year I wonder does marriage even matter anymore?
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