How do I snap back from a hurtful relationship?

1. 57

   JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years ago

   How can I GET BACK IN THE DATING SCENE IF i'M NOT OVER THE PAIN FROM THE LAST RELATIONSHIP?

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      janesixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      don't. what's the big hurry? give yourself time to get over it.

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      lyndreposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Going by your profile you have been single for 5 years.
      So give us peace and get a life.

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         JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Ihave one from the looks of it you need to get one!and find someone else to pick on honey,the question was asked for a friend and your answer was not helpful  ta ta.

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            lyndreposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Not picking on anyone.My comment suddenly made you tell the question was for a friend and not yourself.

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            princess gposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            you need to make up your mind. was it you, or a friend? god, I can't stand liars

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               JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PRINCESS G?THATS NOT NICE AND I THINK IM LEAVING BECAUSE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO ASK QUESTION WITH OUT GETTING NASTY KID LIKE ANWSERS!DONT ANSWER NOTHING I ASK BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME IMA BE VERY VERY NASTY WITH YOU OK.IM I AMONG KIDS OR GROW-UP?O.M.G AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO ASK QUESTION FOR ME,MY FRIENDS,FAMILY,ETC DAM

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      tritrainposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Occupy your time with productive and positive things to do.  Spend time with family and friends.
      
      Time heals all wounds.

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         JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         that's for the love!that was a very good answer and when i was going thru everthing thats what i did:)

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      duffsmomposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Take your time and give yourself a chance to grieve over the past relationship.  There is no hurry.  Spend time with friends or on things you have wanted to do, but haven't had the time.  Dating can wait.

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2. 70

   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   You should have an obvious answer to your question, by asking yourself the question, instead of others.
   
   How do YOU snap back from a hurtful relationship? (a)one not to jump back into the dating scene right away. (b) Evaluate what went wrong with last relationship. Determine "how" hurtful the relationship was? Accept that it has happened and accept that is now over. Once you achieve your acceptance, then move on forward.
   
   Just step lightly, if you're not a good judge of character. If you need help with "character", I've written a few hubs about specific ones.
   
   Approach your next relationship through experienced eyes and you'll avoid many of the pitfalls.

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   1. 57

      JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks!And I've ask myself a million times,and I still can't come up with a answer because we seemed to very happy

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      1. 70

         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         How is that you cannot come up with an answer? We seemed to be very happy
         
         Then, please explain to me, How "hurtful" was the relationship?

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            JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Well he wasn't  happy and didn't show any signs...so by the time I heard anything he was seeing someone and had a baby on the way!And I also found out he had been sleeping round with my cousin.I have to tell you that I was so hurt it toke me a very long time to get over what happen...So I spent weeks trying to see where things went wrong.But here it is 5 yrs later I'm happy I have a great dating life and I realize that it wasn't nothing I done,but it was that he was just no good.

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         2. 57

            JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            THIS WAS SO PAINFUL THAT MY MOM HAD TO STEP IN AND HELP ME!FOR SOME REASON I COULDN' FIND IT IN ME TO LIVE,I JUST GAVE UP AND FELL DOWN IN A VERY DARK DEPRESSION.

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               Iontachposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I'm sorry to hear this Jewelz! I know what that is like and is certainly not pretty. You will get back on track soon! Just tell yourself that.

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               tritrainposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Ask yourself if it was this act of betrayal that is was the painful part.
               
               He is obviously not worthy of you if he sleeps around, especially with your cousin.  You haven't lost him, he lost you.
               
               Learn from this and move on.  Yes, it's easier said than done, but believe me, it will become easier as time goes on.
               
               Find your own strength and be happy with your own good qualities. 

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                  JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  thanks:)

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            3. 70

               Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Just to let you know, in case you don't know- using all CAPS represents you screaming. I wasn't screaming at you. If you want to talk it out, then I'm more than willing to listen.
               
               I would suggest, that since things changed, and apparently you are already in the dating scene, as you say, then your question was moot to begin with.
               
               In response to your two posts, to my one post? You've apparently mistaken my intentions on helping with the situation presented.
               
               The OP problem isn't your problem, as you so conveniently posted that it was for a friend. Thus, you should have started the thread in that manner. The fact that you are putting out someone else private matters, should be a sign in and of itself. Even, if you are truly trying to help them, so far, you have not been of much help. If you had their permission, because they are next to you, as in, in the same room and your friend wanted the replies, then so be it. But, try to use the right language when you type.
               
               It's not YOU, therefore "I" isn't used. The person typing on the computer isn't known by anyone participating in this thread. All is known, is someone is posting to thread. We(hubbers) cannot see you or who is typing. If your friend typed any of the responses in this thread- it will be laid at your doorstep.
               
               Just a thought. If you do actually care talk it out, which doesn't seem to be the case, but if you do. I'm always around.

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                  JewelzPinkPonyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Ok i didn't know caping was a bad thing and i asked for a friend and i wanted to share my story ok.this is jewelzpinkpony and i wanted to share my hurtful story!and im new on here and im trying to learn my way around things.but after this i will be leaving this site because all are not open to helping new hubbers.so i started out to get answers back for a friend and im getting bashed as if im doing something wrong so thanks alot.and it's been 5 yrs ago since i had my bad break-up and it toke me 3 yrs to snap back.so thats why i asked for outside help,cause i dont want to lead my friend the wrong way.but i will make sure she doesn't view this.in one day ive been told to get a like,ive been called a liar...so whats the point coming on here?thanks alot yall to much

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   Iontachposted 14 years ago

   Well when this happened to me I firstly was beyond distraught, I couldn't even explain how upset I was.
   My friends made me go to clubs and talk to new people, so I did. I did help a bit but not fully.
   Then one day I said "F**k this, that awful person didn't deserve me" so I'm going to be fine from now on...
   To be honest it actually worked really well! I refused to let myself get sad or upset even though inside I was.
   Then a while later I was perfect again, I was the same person I was before that awful person came into my life, but I was stronger.
   It was the 10th day after the break up that I got over my 3 year relationship from hell...go me! lol

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